Sunday, March 22, 2009
have u guys ever felt that u r de only 1 living all by urself only, even though there is ppl around u? im so into this kind of world right now.
ppl can only listen and give advice to me. in the end, the 1 facing and feeling its only me. well, to be frank. no 1 could just let me lean on right now. not even my BF. they have their own problems to settle to care about. who bothers to put an extra space just for u?
sometimes i just got to be selfish to myself i guess. that will certainly be better off for me. when i got to think of them each time when me myself already got hurt seriously.
typically i think this isnt a very good month for me thou. de greatest fall to me isnt that i didnt strike a 4D or being back stabbed by a fren. is family isnt caring for u anymore. or shud i say, they totally thinks that u r not there at all. when some1 u r facing with for 20 yrs+ and right nw he is totally ignoring u. its worse den BF hanging up my fone calls? have been 2 weeks.
i noe i isnt this kind of giving up easily girl. but i just doesnt noe hw to face it right nw? picking back a conversation is hard. speaking out of heart towards a cold blooded human its even harder.
friends asked me to speak out to him even if he dont bothers to listen or give a dam, at least i done my part. ya right. speaking of this.. who nv think of it b4? its whether i can or cant do it. the situation its like this right nw. just a lil 3room flat. living 4 kind of ppl. totally diff thinking ppl. i couldnt specify out clearly. but those who noes me well. u all shud noe.
alright its clearly tat i have been left out. so is 3vs1. i count my brother out so is 2 adults vs 1 lady. they have been being so close to each other or can say extremely lovely as b4 infront of me? or am i being just too sensitive? just few footsteps away they r happily dining their dinner in de living room and im living myself in a small room divided by a door only.
true speaking, i couldnt share as much as to my BF coz his family is so into him. he doesnt really noes how is it feel. he can only hear me cry, whine and so on. he wants me to speak it out to him. me myself noes it clearly tat i shouldnt do that. for days it mayb not a burden. but for weeks things started changing. i noe some where out there, there sure be a something/someone for me to lean on.
time to time i even wanted to give up my relationship to let my BF feels better. he always ask me why i always say such stuff to him spoiling his mood so on and etc..
__
i try saying it out. things to me is like this. sometimes being a human or lady.. i cannot be too much. i can read ur mind. i can read ur body language and can even tells it clearly whether u wanna hear it or dont.
in my shoe, i feel like speaking to a person. i still nid to see their mood and "right time" in other to let my feeling out. its dam difficult for me. who does not prefer a ear only? i mean i just wanna see ur serious-ness in hearing me out.
once i speaks de rong time to my boy. we end up quarreling. being a lady. i think its abit too much for me to carry on this way. but he doesnt seems to understand my view. being bothering a person too long and too much. its not good at all. i wanted to keep everything to myself. but i cant do it. coz im not those dont bother kind.
u noe.. being love and loving some1. its just so so diff. and so hard..
compromising in this love? i guess not. .
mayb i shud start to stand up on my own soon.
ppl can only listen and give advice to me. in the end, the 1 facing and feeling its only me. well, to be frank. no 1 could just let me lean on right now. not even my BF. they have their own problems to settle to care about. who bothers to put an extra space just for u?
sometimes i just got to be selfish to myself i guess. that will certainly be better off for me. when i got to think of them each time when me myself already got hurt seriously.
typically i think this isnt a very good month for me thou. de greatest fall to me isnt that i didnt strike a 4D or being back stabbed by a fren. is family isnt caring for u anymore. or shud i say, they totally thinks that u r not there at all. when some1 u r facing with for 20 yrs+ and right nw he is totally ignoring u. its worse den BF hanging up my fone calls? have been 2 weeks.
i noe i isnt this kind of giving up easily girl. but i just doesnt noe hw to face it right nw? picking back a conversation is hard. speaking out of heart towards a cold blooded human its even harder.
friends asked me to speak out to him even if he dont bothers to listen or give a dam, at least i done my part. ya right. speaking of this.. who nv think of it b4? its whether i can or cant do it. the situation its like this right nw. just a lil 3room flat. living 4 kind of ppl. totally diff thinking ppl. i couldnt specify out clearly. but those who noes me well. u all shud noe.
alright its clearly tat i have been left out. so is 3vs1. i count my brother out so is 2 adults vs 1 lady. they have been being so close to each other or can say extremely lovely as b4 infront of me? or am i being just too sensitive? just few footsteps away they r happily dining their dinner in de living room and im living myself in a small room divided by a door only.
true speaking, i couldnt share as much as to my BF coz his family is so into him. he doesnt really noes how is it feel. he can only hear me cry, whine and so on. he wants me to speak it out to him. me myself noes it clearly tat i shouldnt do that. for days it mayb not a burden. but for weeks things started changing. i noe some where out there, there sure be a something/someone for me to lean on.
time to time i even wanted to give up my relationship to let my BF feels better. he always ask me why i always say such stuff to him spoiling his mood so on and etc..
__
i try saying it out. things to me is like this. sometimes being a human or lady.. i cannot be too much. i can read ur mind. i can read ur body language and can even tells it clearly whether u wanna hear it or dont.
in my shoe, i feel like speaking to a person. i still nid to see their mood and "right time" in other to let my feeling out. its dam difficult for me. who does not prefer a ear only? i mean i just wanna see ur serious-ness in hearing me out.
once i speaks de rong time to my boy. we end up quarreling. being a lady. i think its abit too much for me to carry on this way. but he doesnt seems to understand my view. being bothering a person too long and too much. its not good at all. i wanted to keep everything to myself. but i cant do it. coz im not those dont bother kind.
u noe.. being love and loving some1. its just so so diff. and so hard..
compromising in this love? i guess not. .
mayb i shud start to stand up on my own soon.
