Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Lets talk about my life right now. im getting myself rdy for another job hop. hop to a full time 1. i nid to leave de japan restaurant asap. i dislike the place. lots of internal conflicts and bias ppl working around. time have shorten. how can i earn like this? i nid savings!
on Sunday im able to pass cousin those stuff tat was suppose to pass to BF. BF was happy to be able get to taste chocolates again. coz i pack some for him and his favorite biscuits. yst night i cried on fone with him again. heard tat his training is getting tougher. my heart brks. he is still my precious. of coz i cant bear to let him suffer. words it is still words. how will i bear to see him suffer. but he told me. " baby, don't you want me to be matured? i am now. at least i grow a lil "
ur lil words brighten me up. but 2nd worries came onto me. will ur mindset changed? will ur ideal or wanting change?
"love or relationship is like fishing
you got to let the string to be loose at times and tight at times...
if not the string will cut..."
i got this words from BFF. i believe this words don't mark on me. bcoz i nv let him these freedom. i always doubt on him due to the past. actually its isnt his fault. its both of us. but that is like yr plus ago de issue. i dun wish to mention it anymore.
and today its our Monthsary. Barby! its our 1 yr 6 months being tgt! so fast another half month pass by le. and soon my 21st its coming. and BF is coming back. and thursday dad is gonna change my living room flooring. i mayb no home le!! LOL.. coz cannot step into de living room. BF offered me to his home to stay. but i rejected. coz i dun wan to alarm his family. its a small case.
looking up on my bed head and around my room. BF really spent alot of money on me, on those eeyore stuffy n etc. on 4June. he oso bought me another eeyore cushion. he even got me 200grams of chocolates from candy empire, 2 packet of super ex dairy milk. brought me to carls junior. and ichiban sushi for dinner. which all along i dont bother to queue bcoz of de long queue. but BF bring me there. and their chawan n soft shell really great. and yet i still quarrel with him during the night. yst he told me he rather spent those quarreling day with me den now. separated.
yst he called me. telling yst training was tough. some of his platoon CMI le. but he still can cope. I am proud of u Boy. i noe u r so tired and yet u still sing my heart song out to calm me down. useless me only noe how to cry. childish =.=
glad tat i have wrote u 14 days of letters. hope those motivates u. yst night he was so tired till when we put down our fone. normally he will send me a good night msg. but he didnt. as usual i will rush thru my sms to him 1st. coz worry he will off his fone str8 after he send me those sms. and i waited why there is no sms from him de. 5 mins later i try calling him. he off fone le. as usual, me this childish 1 cried. writing on de my diary saying. " i heard b4 tat true love could hear 1 an other even thou they are far apart " and next moment i received his sms. I SWEAR i didnt lie. this really happen to me yst.
u guys noe, b4 tat during our rocky time in our relationship. starting of love. we get so rocky. we quarrel very very worse each day. but we kept seeing miracle. some may say is coincidental. some may say is miracle. but i only believe in myself. as time goes by. this coincidental fade away le. and nw it came back. i really hope is upstairs knew tat. they heard us. *prays*
i may seems childish. i think different kind of ppl, different kind of expressions. so u all ready le, just put aside. no nid to comment. ty (:
ppl often warn me. to step aline. dun get too deep. if not die le oso dunno why. but when u did ur best. even if it fails. at least there is no regret right? im those kind. and tit for tat kind. i believe till now. he is worth for me doing tat. future wise. i let time leads our way. ((:
__
Saw a story and a blog entry from someone's blog. I wish to share.
" Cherish what u have, love who is with you, despite what time has taken away. For no matter how the person changed with time, she/he was the one u fell in love with in the very first place.
Details we forget actually are the details so valuable. why do we let flaws cover perfections? Never should we forget, when you love someone, we turn their greatest flaws into their greatest points. What makes one different, makes one beautiful. For when one takes, one should return willingly.
Commitment is not tiring but a act of love. "
Don't you think its just so true. there's another story to share with u all.
It's gonna be a long story. i believe those interested ones will read it. and its worth the read.
"Never Say Divorce"
1 NEVER SAY DIVORCE. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Judy. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Judy so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Judy. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Judy about my wife’s divorce conditions.. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I
2 nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Judy about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Judy opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Judy, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Judy, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart. Judy seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
3 That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a really happy marriage!
on Sunday im able to pass cousin those stuff tat was suppose to pass to BF. BF was happy to be able get to taste chocolates again. coz i pack some for him and his favorite biscuits. yst night i cried on fone with him again. heard tat his training is getting tougher. my heart brks. he is still my precious. of coz i cant bear to let him suffer. words it is still words. how will i bear to see him suffer. but he told me. " baby, don't you want me to be matured? i am now. at least i grow a lil "
ur lil words brighten me up. but 2nd worries came onto me. will ur mindset changed? will ur ideal or wanting change?
"love or relationship is like fishing
you got to let the string to be loose at times and tight at times...
if not the string will cut..."
i got this words from BFF. i believe this words don't mark on me. bcoz i nv let him these freedom. i always doubt on him due to the past. actually its isnt his fault. its both of us. but that is like yr plus ago de issue. i dun wish to mention it anymore.
and today its our Monthsary. Barby! its our 1 yr 6 months being tgt! so fast another half month pass by le. and soon my 21st its coming. and BF is coming back. and thursday dad is gonna change my living room flooring. i mayb no home le!! LOL.. coz cannot step into de living room. BF offered me to his home to stay. but i rejected. coz i dun wan to alarm his family. its a small case.
looking up on my bed head and around my room. BF really spent alot of money on me, on those eeyore stuffy n etc. on 4June. he oso bought me another eeyore cushion. he even got me 200grams of chocolates from candy empire, 2 packet of super ex dairy milk. brought me to carls junior. and ichiban sushi for dinner. which all along i dont bother to queue bcoz of de long queue. but BF bring me there. and their chawan n soft shell really great. and yet i still quarrel with him during the night. yst he told me he rather spent those quarreling day with me den now. separated.
yst he called me. telling yst training was tough. some of his platoon CMI le. but he still can cope. I am proud of u Boy. i noe u r so tired and yet u still sing my heart song out to calm me down. useless me only noe how to cry. childish =.=
glad tat i have wrote u 14 days of letters. hope those motivates u. yst night he was so tired till when we put down our fone. normally he will send me a good night msg. but he didnt. as usual i will rush thru my sms to him 1st. coz worry he will off his fone str8 after he send me those sms. and i waited why there is no sms from him de. 5 mins later i try calling him. he off fone le. as usual, me this childish 1 cried. writing on de my diary saying. " i heard b4 tat true love could hear 1 an other even thou they are far apart " and next moment i received his sms. I SWEAR i didnt lie. this really happen to me yst.
u guys noe, b4 tat during our rocky time in our relationship. starting of love. we get so rocky. we quarrel very very worse each day. but we kept seeing miracle. some may say is coincidental. some may say is miracle. but i only believe in myself. as time goes by. this coincidental fade away le. and nw it came back. i really hope is upstairs knew tat. they heard us. *prays*
i may seems childish. i think different kind of ppl, different kind of expressions. so u all ready le, just put aside. no nid to comment. ty (:
ppl often warn me. to step aline. dun get too deep. if not die le oso dunno why. but when u did ur best. even if it fails. at least there is no regret right? im those kind. and tit for tat kind. i believe till now. he is worth for me doing tat. future wise. i let time leads our way. ((:
__
Saw a story and a blog entry from someone's blog. I wish to share.
" Cherish what u have, love who is with you, despite what time has taken away. For no matter how the person changed with time, she/he was the one u fell in love with in the very first place.
Details we forget actually are the details so valuable. why do we let flaws cover perfections? Never should we forget, when you love someone, we turn their greatest flaws into their greatest points. What makes one different, makes one beautiful. For when one takes, one should return willingly.
Commitment is not tiring but a act of love. "
Don't you think its just so true. there's another story to share with u all.
It's gonna be a long story. i believe those interested ones will read it. and its worth the read.
"Never Say Divorce"
1 NEVER SAY DIVORCE. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Judy. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Judy so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Judy. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Judy about my wife’s divorce conditions.. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I
2 nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Judy about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Judy opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Judy, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Judy, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart. Judy seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
3 That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a really happy marriage!
