blissed

2010-05-29T10:55:00.003+08:00

FINALLY! for being MIA for so long, i bother to blog AGAIN. C: feel like switching to live-journal thou.

Bf is away for his NS taiwan trip for 26days olady! haha is really like finally? i dunno. starring at this screen reflecting of how i spent these days being alone and with family 1 word, "Fast". in a wink of eye today is Saturday already. i still rmb last week i just ask my dad to get me that famous chee cheong fun for next weekend and today is de weekend and of coz my nicest dad did get me chee cheong fun even thou he need to go to work. C: P.S he is only sweet at times.

and i cant believe i will go on shopping alone on thursday :O its like after like more den 3 yrs i go on shopping alone? or shud i say i nv did it b4? -_______- its always either with friends, Bf, or family. SO! ima grown up. LOL? -.-

i feel so much fresher now in my room as i have pack all my clothes in the cupboard, on my chair, on my bed or shud i say is all around my room. LOL :x gave away 4 shorts and throw away alot alot of unwanted Ts and dresses. i just realise i got like afew jeans skirt and shorts that i cant wear bcoz of de size is too BIG, which i just bought like last yr? maybe i shud really pig out and put on fast weight? O_O who is gonna sponsor me for buffets?

i am missing that slippers right now :C but i just bought a sandals yst. shall ask Bf get it for me :x he must be now happy shopping at taiwan and he is back TONIGHT, MIDNIGHT. dad did mention about fetching him, but half half ARGH. like wat Bf have told me, dont put too much hope so when he disagree im not that unhappy about it. after all he is my dad ya? i noe he loves this family and i also noe actually he loves me the most. just that i am a big girl now thats why he expects me to be independent. I KNOW LA DAD.

something to share :
Parents' Wish

To our dear child......

On the day when you see us old, weak and weary,
Have patience and try to understand us...

If we get dirty when eating,
If we cannot dress up on our own,
Please bear with us and remember the times we spent
feeding and dressing you up.

If, when we speak to you,
we repeat the same things over and over again,
Do not interrupt us, listen to us.
When you were small,
we had to read to you
a thousand and one times the same story
until you went to sleep...

When we do not want to have a shower,
neither shame nor scold us.
Remember when we had to chase you
with your thousand excuses
to get you to the shower...
When you see our ignorance on new technologies,
help us navigate our way
through those worldwide webs..

We taught you how to do so many things,
to eat the right foods, to dress appropriately,
to fight for your rights...

When at some moments we lose the memory or
the thread of our conversation, let us
have the necessary time to remember,
and if we cannot, do not become nervous...
As the most important thing is not our conversation
but surely to be with you and
have you listening to us...

If ever we do not want to eat, do not force us.
We know well when to and when not to.

When our tired legs give way
and do not allow us to walk without a cane,
lend us your hand,
the same way we did
when you first tried your faltering steps..

And when someday we say to you
that we do not want to live anymore,
that we want to die, do not get angry,
someday you will understand...

Try to understand that our age is not lived.
But survived...

Someday you will realise that,
despite our mistakes,
we always wanted the best thing for you
and we tried to prepare the way for you...

You must not feel sad, angry or ashamed
for seeing us near you. Instead, try to understand us
and help us like we did when you were young...

Help us to walk,
Help us to end our way with love and dignity.
We will pay you by a smile and
by the immense love
we always had for you in our heart..

We love you Child.
Dad

P.S he is my Dad and also my Mom :D

2010-01-11T08:28:00.001+08:00

promise to update real soon!! C: been busy lately and i wanna plan something but i wonders....

2009-12-23T07:14:00.002+08:00

argh! its terrible when u couldnt sleep till the time u want or etc! bitting on pucca and blogging xD i cant imagine but i hate 2 mushroom bun, a custard bun and yogurt for breakfast. still thinking wanna make my soy milk anot :/
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yesterday Bf came to fetch me off work after his guard duty C: b4 that he went home and jogged, washed his clothes den came here. Love* he bought me my favourite mushroom bun and made me honey drink which his grandpa define it until like god power kind of drink. LOL!!

so! Bf had fried rice, fried chicken from my work place as side kicks bcoz we r going over to meidi-ya for salmon sashimi and haato ice cream C: Love*

den walked to bugis as i wanna go sasa for stuff. after that we went to arcade for the new bishi bashi. SHIOK* but i always KO 1st de :C Bf always de last survivor. den dinner at pastamania and i had yami yogurt.

Bf got me some cheap loots at cotton on, call me bimbo i dun care but i just love cotton on whatever things. i mean only those on discounted items C:

anyway, we saw a nike bagpack which looks not bad in OG. thinking of getting that as Bf's christmas gift and shoe as later on present. hm, but i dunno what really Bf really wants as i already told him whenever he is out of idea of wat to get me, just hope to Helen and pick anything from there for me till every tiny lil thing from there is on my hand C: LOL! Bf still praised me for giving him sucha good idea. LOL!!

and ever since last week n so i have been stuck! stuck between pazzion or charles n keith. i really like that cnk heels but Bf dont really want me to get that, its $86 now. but as for pazzion i really have no idea of which 1 i want. SO! im stuck -____-
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PAYDAY! weeeee!! so we intend to head to DBS later to get our cards ready and bank in my pay plus book our movie tickets for christmas eve.
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BF!! FAT BF! Thanks for accompanying me yesterday. i know you are so tired yesterday but u still accompany me to walk from clark quay to bugis and from bugis to bugis street den to parklane.

we started to walk since 3pm till 10pm la! :x too long no such feelings. oh ya and Bf, a plate of penang char kway teow enuff to grow back those fats u have jogged away yesterday :x who ask u mouth itchy. :/

alright off to work soon and i know very long no pictures uploaded. we oso didnt take much picture already. BF LUH! change phone -____- no more front camera. :x

and i in need to get into malaysia to replenish my stuff. thinking of asking my fren in malaysia to bring me tour around. Bf lets get our way to A&W instead of KFC C:

i think their kfc still lose to sg ones besides the nasi lemak combo they have coz their chilli is superb la. pizza hut maybe? hm, but this trip is gonna be fun coz is with Bff too C:

2009-12-22T07:54:00.003+08:00

wanna blog abit b4 going off to work C:

Bf finished his guard duty for this yr already and im glad he is on leave till 4 of Jan and 1 more haven use up off day till Jan 2010 C: and we are planning on vacation on March since he missed taiwan attachment due to his driving course. o well, dont put high hope yet coz army always cock up 1.

and i wanna let Bf knows that nth in this world can resembles you nor compare to you. the things u have done for me, those big and small sacrifices how can anyone on the road side being compare to you huh barby? we both are so similar to each other that when we look at each other we see our self. we know each other very well. so you do know it in ur heart how much u meant to me C:
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and work! i always love monday shifts. to me i dont really have monday blues. but i hate wednesday and thursday thou. HAHA! but i dun have to for this 2 weeks coz Bf is here to fetch me off or bring me to work C: and most importantly that i have my pay raised! :3 they didnt raise according to wat i wan, but they raised more than what i expected to be. MUAH HAHAHA! thanks Kamei C:

alright its 8 now. 6 hours to see Bf! cant wait....

2009-12-20T10:09:00.002+08:00

mixed feelings -____-
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ok i shall blog about de recent activities that leave huge impression inside my mind. on Wednesday i went to look for BF during his nights out. we had kfc for dinner and desserts in my favorite dessert stall. after that as usual lor, walk around. as for this nights out Bf is able to book in at 2330. so nth to do much oso. we walked into SASA to test and smell perfumes. and this perfumer which have banner on it saying best seller. i find the outlook cute so i test on it.

i fall in love with it instantly, and there's a promoter saying that this perfume having package Christmas sales. originally 69 for 30ml, but this package includes body wash and body lotion. thou i wan it so much but i got to skip it as im financially tight. so we walked out and i wanna go toilet la. SO! when i came out i didnt see Bf around assuming he is poot pooting la. but quite awhile he didnt come out. i started to panic. phone him oso didnt listen. as im sensitive kind of person la, so i was thinking dont tell me he is in de SASA getting me the perfume. so i went there and he is really there!! he bought me that PERFUME luh! i was like O_O stunned. lols he wanted to surprise me actually, but i found out :/

Thanks Love! *heart*
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Friday didnt meet Bf due to his battalion night. as his company is de organizer they nid to kio sai. so its late, he doesnt wants me to be out at such late timing so i stayed home. Saturday morning he came late to accompany me for breakfast as previous night he was kinda drunk and over slept. so we headed to Pek kio market for breakfast as Bf nv been thr b4. den night time headed over to Bf's house for Dong Zhi reunion dinner. C: they played mahjong as Bf requested them to bcoz he wanna teach me how to play oso. stress*

during halfway i was kinda down thou due to some matters between bf and me. but i handle it calmly and had a talk with him after that and everything was solved.
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anyway recently Bf n i having huge communication breakdown. when i say huge, i really mean HUGE. ya, like Bf often says we love each other very much and it make that whatever we say we take it seriously. words often made the both of us teared and angered.

his temper recently had gone really bad due to army stuff. i am trying my very best to act with him and go with him along all this months. its tiring thou, at times i nearly gave up. this problems even occurred when im working, shitting, peeing, sleeping, eating, walking, running, climbing and etc. YES, girl is always thinking. but without us girl keep thinking, problem will nv be solve. yes problem will fade off but it will still comes back bcoz it has not be settled isnt am right?

SO, till now i have still no conclusion to this yet. just let love leads our way. if 1 day either side no longer wanna walked on, it is obvious already huh.

i always tell myself that laughing and smiling could be conversation into a easier way to communicate. but im rong. no matter how hard a person trying to be, it is still acting. cause in the end, you are the 1 getting hurt.

my BFF told me b4 about u wan to be nice? den swallow ur pride. if not dun act. this is love. u sacrifice then u keep quiet. how hurting how aching cry to urself not to the opposite.
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and i oso noe and oso no idea why am i getting slimmer each day. and im 41kg right now. every1 say is body problem. but me myself knows it clearly that is bcoz i work during the weekday and dun eat much after that. OK! i know is all about me. i just prefer to eat munchies den a meal wat :/ and also, i dunno wanna be so sticky. u noe wat i mean thou.

i rmb telling this to a friend b4. " THEY ARE IN THE ARMY, THEY SHUD BE THE 1 WHO MISS US LIKE MAD. NOT US, THEY SHUD BE THE 1 DEMAND TO MEET UP. NOT US" bcoz we are free and they r not. but why i seems to be not the 1 that i have mentioned? dammit -____-

ok i over blog already. BYE!

2009-12-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

C: hey ho! finally home! im out since 8am till now :O

working is duper fantastic today. great peeps great environment great freedom and of coz huge motivation to finish the work bcoz BF is here to fetch me! tml too C: and my manager gave Bf free treat over in the restaurant.

after that Bf and i walked to PS intend to watch movie but i wanna skip it. Bf got me a top from cotton on as my tube is too loose -___- so Bf chose a top for me which i much prefer another top thou :/ and he kept saying "this top very nice wat" throughout the whole half day. LOL! anyway F21 at 313 is girl's heaven. i believe i can really go broke over there. i am so gonna work hard and earn money to get things i want there! :3 and i still thinking whether to get the heels over at CnK. Bf say is nice but not really nice due to the front of it and is not cheap thou, and i really wanna brk my own thinking that buying shoes for partner is alright. coz i wanna get that pair for Bf at river island. o well, let me reconsider.

but im still happy over my schedule for this week.
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just now during the walks, Bf n i had some quarrel. our communication breakdown so much ever since he got into army i think? we get so hard on each other nowadays that makes me really tired of being attached. i dunno why these small lil issues still occurs in this 2 yrs relationship. arent we suppose to know each other better? but it seems like right now is not..

i want him to speak up, but he always remain quiet. it seems like whenever we quarrel or whatsoever, it is always begins with me. that's what he say. i triggers him.. i feel im sucha failure being a Gf. i always thot that i have already over do what a gf shud do already, but it seems not. it seems to him that im still a useless kind. besides that he does pampered and dote me alot. he will pads onto my head and cheer me up when ppl pull me down. whenever he can, he able. he buys me everything/anything i need or wants and not get himself anything, always. he has nv complains or nag on me saying anything when he overspent on me, why issit i still expect it to be another kind of way of love? isnt this, girls really need and want? i guess what i really nid he can never give or nv know.

just bcoz i grow up in a broken family ever since very young. im lack of many many things in life which i really want right now. but in love, things is always nv fair or etc.. you can nv expect it to be the way u wanted it to be or change it to the way u want it to be. that's no longer love.

but i still got to say, i do cherish Bf a lot. i love him so much that i dont even noe what's right and wrong. hais, i just dunno how to put in words anymore.
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late dinner tonight.. but thanks to Bf for getting me a packet of rice if not im sure gonna get hungry. C: time to go to bed with fat fluff tummy as tml got to wake up early for work. C:

i miss Bf, i love Bf. but i just dun wanna say it out. what's the problem with me man.

2009-12-12T23:18:00.003+08:00

[[ Edited ]]

copied from over Joei's blog for the wind chime. *nice

O_O dead blog. been lazy to blog lately due to work and over slack :/
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finally another contented meal after afew months ago with Bf's family at sakura too. i didnt even eat this much at Nagoyami shabushabu with colleagues on last monday.

i swear i eat like a glutton just now for dinner. Both bf and i ate more den 30 pieces of salmon sashimi and lots of cooked food and teppanyaki and i ate 1 whole plate of cheese cakes and durian puff! sakura durian puff is dam good! i swear that i will be fluffy after tonight! LOL and i was complaining to BF that i regretted eating so much food and neglect those cheese cakes :c

Anyway! Bf and I had our 2nd yr anniversary recently C: and Bf got me lots of presents and treated me for buffet. i really wanna apologise for not making him any d.i.y card for christmas and anni. but some handmade gift is on the way my love. sorry for the delay as i really got no idea how to handle it :/
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Bf got himself a Puma slip on at velocity today for half of it's original price. i wanna get mine also which i wanted quite long ago but no size for me :C all too big, its like so dam cheap. nono its 50%! i wanna get another 1 thou. but after discount it is still dam ex, but i am so gonna get it once i got my pay! HUMPF* >:c

ok i am gonna blog in - format :

- PM 2010 calender ( it is so so so dam nice )
- special deal short ( i am so happy to get at such a good price )
- cnK bag ( Thanks Love )
- lots of foodies stocking in my room again! ( Thanks Love )
- nissin milk seafood noodle ( havent try it but i know its gonna be nice )
- mama bakery
- weighing scale :/
- seriously i need to gain weight!! :X
- looking forward for love's bloc leave
- love, even thou i know you are down bcoz you didnt get it. but doesnt means u aint anything. i know you did ur best. try harder for next yr C:
- my feifei is getting so fat, i am afraid of losing him. need to bring him for exercise soon!
- so wanna go genting again with Bf.
- hi-chew in durian flavor is funny
- i wanna buy puzzle asap!
- dolphin earring ( Thanks love )
- fcuk denim
- i want to get another pair of pretty shoes and dress :/

i really hasnt been so happy ever since you got into army until today. the love you gave, the reaction you had on me. sorry for tearing again just now. i know love, i got to be strong. C: thanks for every saturday morning without fail, you reached my doorstep at early morning just to bring me for breakfast no matter how tired you are. nv fail to give me ur everything when im empty, you filled me up.

Thanks Love.

2009-11-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

recently i am so into cookies again, Bf got me near of 300g per week just on cookie itself. Lil jerry's mint, famousamos's choc chip pecan and now i've finally tried Cookieman's cookie from takashimaya basement. their brandy snaps are fantastic. at 1st Bf n i tot it was oily, but i think that's 1 of the ingredient for making the cookie not oil. i am going back for their others variety C:
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friday Bf gave me a shock at my door step. i was slacking after work for Bf's notices so that im able to fetch him off from camp. but rough 4.30PM Bf surprised me at my window! b4 that he send me a sms telling me book out time may change due to unfinished duty! LOL but he was being released early and wanna surprise me C:

SO!! we changed and headed down to town to walk around. [ everything is so full and comfortable with him around ] food always tasted so great with u boy. even thou i'm feeling isnt good. but with you, everything seems to get so sweet and fulfilling.
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this coming week should be good 1. but Bf having guard duty on saturday. weekend burn yup :c but nvm! Bf you must jiayou ok!! PRIDE - people relax i do extra! NO WORRY! GD nia! do la, at least u got a full point C:

but i still must say.. National service? BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quoted from another blogger
-

Emotional hunger, researchers say, is different from physical hunger in several ways.

Emotional hunger is triggered by something that upsets you - you feel stressed out, angry or unhappy - whereas physical hunger is part of a day's living cycle.

Emotional hunger hits you suddenly whereas physical hunger comes on slowly.

In emotional hunger, your brain becomes obsessed with a particular food. Images of it keep playing in your head and you feel compelled to satisfy the craving at once. In physical hunger, you're not that picky about what you're going to eat and the meal can wait a bit too.

Once an emotional eater gets to his food obsession and has eaten his fill, he is overcome with guilt. Physical hunger, on the other hand, leaves one pleasantly full.

Why are some people more prone to emotional eating than others? Scientists say the human body has an automatic mechanism that alerts us when we are full and should stop eating.

But emotional eaters have learnt to ignore the stop-eating signals. They continue to eat to lessen the negative feelings they are feeling. Ironically, the binge leaves them reeling with guilt, regret and revulsion.

The problem with emotional overeating is the sort of comfort food people turn to. If we hankered for healthy stuff such as broccoli and spinach and fruit, nobody would be complaining.

But we always crave for food that is highly processed and deliciously rich in fat, sugar and salt, and which leaves one overweight and unhealthy.

There's a scientific reason for this too. Neuroscientists say that food heavy in fat and sugar has been found to light up the brain's dopamine pathway. This is our pleasure-sensing spot and the same area that gets all tingly when people consume alcohol or drugs.

Because bad food brings pleasure, we learn to want it. The obsession isn't helped by how cheap and easily available fatty, sugary food is.

Studies have found that more women than men turn to food for comfort, and that women have a higher tendency to overeat when presented with palatable food or when under emotional distress.

Women also prefer snack-type comfort food such as candy and chocolate while men seek meal-type food such as pizza and steak. But no matter what they eat, women are likely to feel more guilty than men.

Apparently, differences in sex hormones such as estrogen may be the reason behind the gender differences.

WELL SAID! =X

2009-11-11T10:36:00.002+08:00

Boy, is our 23th month being together. Love u C: i've promised you to take many many pictures but i still think that picture is incomplete without you by my side.

i am missing you so much which supposedly im able to meet you but, no. your night out being canceled.

you know boy, on sunday those words you have said to me and answered me. really clear all my doubts i have for you. i'm not good at words to define something or etc. but i still wanna let you know, Thanks for being there for me whenever i need you. Thanks for everything.. Mega mcspicy 1 for you and 1 for me C: this is really sweet..

i hope with those biscuit/chips/drinks i've packed for you to camp able to brighten up ur days in it. i know for this yr and 7 mth gonna be tough for you and me. frankly speaking i totally got no idea how am i gonna handle all this but i know you will be there for me to tell me what to do or maybe i get blur enuff to knock it through. haha :D
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"There You'll Be"

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[Chorus:]
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

[Repeat chorus]
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I Love You Boy.

2009-11-08T13:02:00.002+08:00

it is just so hard to be something/else. thou i know giving up is a better option.

i need to grow.. i need to change my own environment. i know i can be better C:

2009-11-01T07:13:00.003+08:00

i am still so mad at myself for the chocolate and that fucking toothpick. poor phone of mine :c

and im so used to wake up at 7am every morning that i hate it so much -___-! rainy days is making my body aches so much. Bf is gonna be stuck to stagmont for his NS life already. i can really foresee nightmare now. off for overseas training/ tight schedule/ weekend burn/ no time for me anymore. dammit, i still got to suck thumb -___-

im still wondering whether to raise my option up to my manager for raising of pay. but i hate responsibilities -___-

*random Pucca biscuit is so YUM*

Friday went to fetch Bf off from camp den hop to causeway for dinner at ajisen c: their chicken wing is so finger licking good! i miss their matcha dora also!! walked around and home sweet home. this week seems that we end our night very early. Friday and Yst also.

Saturday morning not very good for me, oh ya.. i got a happy go lucky Bf and right now i didnt hear him mentioning about anything or what anymore. or maybe he just doesnt want to face it? idk.

he bought me egg tart/macarons during his trip here for breakfast with me. den during lunch we only slack off to nearest novena. wanted mushroom soup but dunno why end up eating Sakae later regretted forgeting about ichiban boshi -____- and Bf gonna bring me for buffet after he got his next paycheck c:

we bought alot of chips/biscuit/drinks/bread den off home to slack. we just stayed home the whole day oh ya! dinner had, chicken rice/BBQ chicken wing and almond paste. hit tummy! while Bf busy watching the re-play of Liverpool and Man U i busy at the room snapping pictures.

we ended the night early..
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Yesterday during the talk at Sakae i was shock by ur reply seriously and you really bring me laughter when im at the deepest point. Your Micheal Jackson joke is dam good and you mistaken wearing my tshirt that 1. LOL.. ya you are right thou, what so bad about you? but like i said, NS changed u so dam lot. i dislike your hokkian words now and than, i dislike you handle things nowadays, dislike the feeling u gave when you are back in camp, i totally got no idea anymore what am i to you at time. you only kept quiet and expect me to know by myself. Let me tell u idk.. u cant expect to keep quiet always. you nid to be soft on girls and speak to her nicely not hush?

what i told u in the morning is the truth. if im still nothing to you, im stepping onto another route.
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Having you by my side i feel happy but at other side im unhappy. there is still something missing that u failed to give all along. Your unstable character.. how many time things gonna work out fine i oso dont know. god gonna bless us for how long? idk.. is our fate gonna last forever this way idk. since i still have you, both of us really need to cherish it other. i hope you really think about it, stop giving me empty promises and wants me to come back but nth changes.

no matter what i love you.

只要我们都爱着无论多苦都值得
说好的 ~~怎么忘记了~~

2009-10-21T07:34:00.003+08:00

Been rather busy lately? NO! is just that im too tired to blog. work is muthafucking 1. dont wanna mention about it. just find that tiongs and japs really fuck up.

and something go wrong with my html but ease already. since editing so edited my wishlist also. Bf is just so sensitive about my wishlist and always wanna fulfill all of it. so i shall edit more. LOL!!!
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previously Bf brought me to a Hokkaido express ramen shop at Ion next to R burger. not nice can! with that amount we able to eat at my work place which Bf always wanted to already!! dam. once bitten twice shy xD the R burger also got alot of reviews but i noe is not nice. i still prefer the Xi Hu kong ba bao.

SUCKS!! the service sucks too. except that they serves you with green tea instead of plain water.

he had the spicy 1. and after eating he got really burnt lips. dam funny, and i think their spicy is totally a Japanese couldnt accept 1. no wonder no japs eating in there. sucks totally. luckily we didnt order the crab 1 which cost $30 a bowl.

i am not a huge fan of Yamakawa, but i visit it nearly everyday and spent more den half an hr inside busy searching for bites, if is too expensive i will just look at it and walked away and sweet Bf will always buy it and surprised my after that.

the fuji apple drink is a addict to me right now. i haf 6 cans in my room and finishing soon already. seng shiong is selling really cheap for it. :D and for the Azuki caramel sweet is a must try. was recommended by my jap boss. is cheap! there is salt, green tea and milk flavor too. but i still prefer azuki(red bean) c:

and that dorayaki is near heaven tasting xD okok i am exaggerating it. the chocolate flavor is normal. but for the maple and custard is really uberly good. especially when u placed it in the fridge. YUMMY!! Bf and i keep snatching for it after we bought it. LOL!! worth the price c:
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Bf's mom got me a perfume, liquor choco and nougat bar as a gift from her visit at Paris. the perfume is really good. Thanks Aunty..

i wanna thanks Bf for getting me a pair of heels from image turn also. its really comfy and really thanks for making up my mind during the colour choosing. i just love to shop with you c: Bf got himself a long wanted cardigan from topman sales. he got really high over it bcoz that is de cardigan he wanted long ago but too ex to buy and now is on sales and is his size plus LAST PIECE! HUAT AH!! 50% and is $40 nw. lols!!

and i still stuck between fred perry or keds -____-

random* Myojo Lor Mee is GOOD!! =X
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Bf just got back from 2nd outfield yesterday. what i heard is that his top isnt very happy the whole day and they got whack till dam jia lat. bcoz of 1 particular guy they got spot check about bringing HP and they might have some punishment wont noe till tonight. worse come to worse sign extra -____- better than that particular 1 got confine. and i learned from Bf is that guys really behave totally different infront of their Gf or girls. i heard alot from Bf and knew alot. i wont say Bf isnt 1 of this kind, but i strongly know that he isnt 1. c:

i wonder are we going to sentosa on this weekends? and friend's wedding is this Saturday and i wont be able to make it -____-

2009-10-14T08:10:00.007+08:00

cant believe i woke up at 7am when i slept late yesterday.

Bf send me a heart warming sms this morning. too sweet to be true seriously. very long never received such sweet and long sms from him already. there is la, but are like take care baby and etc.. mostly all is care and love de. but now is heart felt words. c:

makes me missing him terribly right now. -____-

yesterday busy online shopping and bought 2 tops for less den 30! so happy c: but got to wait, aww life is full of wait and wait luh! but anyway, was discussing whether to get the 2nd top actually. Bf ask me to go for it. so ya lor! no regret ><
__

i kept repeating and humming these endlessly.

"When I need you
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so want to give you
It's only a heartbeat away

When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day

Miles and miles of empty space in between us
The telephone can't take the place of your smile
But you know I won't be travelin' forever
It's cold out, but hold out, and do like I do
When I need you
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so wanna give you babe
It's only a heartbeat away"

the meaning is so in me right now.
__

remembering the time,

when we still havent got the agreement from my dad to come up to my house yet. so we got to sit on the void deck and chat thruout the day. feeding mosquitoes drinking, eating, playing, arguing, fighting, play cards and so on.. maybe hectic but...

is all worthwhile.

then this notti boy brought me to Zoo and Bird park.

*when is our next visit again ah dear?*

we went to Zoo on the 27Feb of 2008 lei! few months later den to bird park. now like nth liao lei!! SPICE UP MAN MY DEAR!!

REMEMBER THIS ANOT BF!? was taken on 13Jan 2008 at ur Mac la! when we just got together for a month plus. i look so kiddy and chubby -____-

how about a yr plus later?

still chubby lei >< but he got so much slimmer due to NS :c but serious speaking he look so good right now. but im missing his hair dunno why.

but now also nice la. so man and macho! =X my colleagues all say he changed alot. look so much better now. well, i think so too luh. personality had a big change too. so attractive right now ><

and Bf!! u haven tell me what u wish for during ur birthday? which is 2 days b4 u get enlisted to NS when we celebrated for u. and now lei!? so fast 5 months had pass.

__

rmb this anot fat Bf? we went Malaysia with family b4 CNY LOL!! and now u r holding a real gun instead of paint ball gun. (Jys for ur Friday Guard Duty Bf)

see ur unglam face eating popcorn chicken ><

2nd trip with Bf - another cable car photo c: we are acting a very full face. LOL

i miss the time spending with u at GENTING la!!!

1st trip with Bf to Genting on cable car c: is there any 3rd trip hah Bf? but i dun wan genting le! Bf and i planned to go Thailand for next trip. c: FASTER COME!!

our favorite. when Bf? this weekend seems packed for the both of us :c

i look like my DAD!! omg! but this was 2 yrs+ ago. now im slimmer. so... i am still like him luh! DAMMIT. LOL
__

I MISS YOU BF!!

2009-10-12T09:15:00.002+08:00

:D suppose to have alot of photos de lei, but all in Bf's HP. -____-
__

Friday as usual work luh! bought $12 raw beef shabu shabu kind for cooking Bf's dinner and he enjoy it. just did some simple japanese style frying/sauce and egg tofu for him and dessert was bur bur chacha as he told me is nice ever since he had his 1st try at camp. b4 that he hates sweet potato and yam -____- this friday he got to book out early but i manage to reach there in time to fetch him (:

walked around Lot-1 and friday night falls quickly.
__

Saturday/ Bf reached at near 8AM to accompany me for breakfast. was suppose to meet Bff to temple for praying but i move it to next Saturday as i wanna catch Phobia2. but balestier cinema for phobia2 dont seems to screen it anymore. so got to rush to orchard for 1pm slot as it is de only slot left -____- dammit right!

but we manage to get the seats we wanted. show was ok? is not as scary as the 1st la even thou i shut my eye and ear through out the 2 hrs LOL!! Bf busy eating twisties so end up i got to shut it for him too! LOL

the 1st story is disgusting but is good. i like the ending 1 which is twisted and funny. this time they phobia2 is all about karma. so not so scary when i'm tucking into bed during the night. not much flashback on the show besides the ending 1.

but is worth the watch even if is for $10 :D

after that suppose to meet up Bf's friends for battlefield but we ended up have something in mind so we change to do our things.
__

Sunday/ wanna give Bf a surprise. so woke up early prepare and headed over to Bf place to wait for him. manage to shock him. HEHE! coz he has been coming over to my area for breakfast and couldnt find good fried chicken wings and he misses his house coffeeshop ones. so we settle it there and headed to my place to slack.

wanted to order pizza at 1st for lunch but change mind to KFC. was a dam sinful lunch. dinner at granny place. and Bf took cab off back to camp as his dajie unable to fetch him back.

starting off this week, he will be dam busy. thursday having outfield and friday staying back for guard duty ): instead of friday night able to pinch him again i got to wait for another 12 hrs ):

NS really waste time and life. we share alot of thoughts yesterday night cuddling together. i didnt manage to hold on to my tears during the last hug when he hugged me tightly and told me those words. most of it was thanks and thanks to me.

i miss his presence and warm so much..
__

on friday my room is empty. right now my room is filled with goodies of food and drinks thanks to Bf stocking for me. LOL!!

i think my 5 days slimming plan 2 days growing fat plan is ruin this time.

2009-10-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

Love is patient; love is kind

and envies no one.

Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;

never selfish, not quick to take offense.

There is nothing love cannot face;

there is no limit to its faith,

its hope, and endurance.

In a word, there are three things

that last forever: faith, hope, and love;

but the greatest of them all is love.

2009-10-07T21:34:00.002+08:00

miss him like fuck? what to do, LL suck thumb to guard duty. thought no nid surrender HP so able to chat with him. but, yucks.. he got sanctuary will be bored to death i guess. -.- only way to motivate the both of us is this friday. bookout, monthsary and pay day. told him that im giving him a surprise. still thinking whether shud i put it as a surprise or not. HAHA!! cause i do it frequently already -____-

and im still wondering can i go to bed later on ~_~ lucky i dont have work tml. shall i dota? or stuck to cafe world? -_____-

blog is getting dull, too long nv upload photos already since i've uploaded all to facebook already.
__

Last saturday went off to bugis to meet bff. she paid for my top at cotton on. both of us got something similar. after 2 hr plus got home for family dinner. Bf ate alot ((: after dinner headed off to amk to meet up his friends den L4D! actually wanna battlefield de la. but amk de lan bo bot -.- so ended up we played "WITCH!!" screamed to much till throat get so dry. LOL!! didnt play long as the rest of them wanna go play lantern -.- so Bf send me home den we got home.

Bf come early on sunday to accompany me for breakfast again cause his mom is overseas. i do not always have such privileges so i do actually cherish on sunday. but due to PMS i threw my temper at him. but soon recover. sunday didnt went well as i got so reluctant to let him off. this stagmont thingy really sucks i guess. i couldnt adapt this compare to tekong. seems that tekong is so much better than this.
__

so far my work is ok.. and xiaohan baked me muffin bcoz i requested her to bake some for me. and she did it str8 after work and pass it to me today. so sweet of her ((:

seriously fuck tonight can? -_____-
__

when he is here, quarrel la. see! now he is not here yet miss him so much. fuck myself -.-

2009-10-03T07:42:00.002+08:00

ALOHA!! haven been blogging for time.. used to be motivated to blog. but no idea why not for nowadays.

yesterday went to camp with J tgt to find out Bf. after that we separated for our dinner. had koba (: lot1 have lots of things to eat but not for shopping. but yst i bought shirt from cotton on and chicken essence. taste really yucky but no choice got to drink. and i realize i got quite alot of open pores right now. is really time to look for mom and also XL wedding is coming 2 weeks later. bought something online with BFF. its 2nd hand but is really nice and cheap. seller only wore once so i think its ok.

yesterday night i got sleepless night. dunno issit bcoz of BF told me about bedok camp stories or not tired thats why cant slp. its 7.45AM now and BF is on the way to my place to accompany me for breakfast. Bf, thank you very much.. actually part of de sleepless night is bcoz of BF. i dunno why am i missing him so much. some times i recall back those words he said to me, makes me wanna tear out without reasons. I love you Boy.

later we r gonna meet Bff at bugis to shop and dinner back home due to lantern festival. wee!! gonna have lots of good food.. and i plan to watch phobia2 tonight =X even thou i noe its gonna be another sleepless night again but i dont care! i so dam wanna watch it.

Bf is reaching already i got to get rdy.
Bf, thanks for the sacrifices you have done for me during ur bookouts. sacrifice ur family for me. sacrifice your sleep for me. sacrifice ur play/relax time for me. yet i still demand for more. sorry for not being a good Gf. I love you, i really do..

2009-09-22T09:21:00.002+08:00

i got to slowly recall back to all the things i've done recently. LOL!! ok 1st and firstly.

Gerald May You Rest In Peace in the above. Lot and lot of misses. its really shocking to know that you have gone. You will be miss by many.
__

later i am meeting Gf to town for Final D again -____- as she has free tickets. and still not sure whether to go for Gerald's funeral not. dam..

Bf reported to his new unit already. he is in the same unit and same course as my cousin b4. so somehow cousin already told him how is it inside. and luckily he is not at the 6th lvl. LOL!! and right now he is telling me that IC2 is the most siong among it. of coz la. you are comparing with a totally slack course lei Bf! IC2 just got 1 or 2 major outfield. while IC1 got nth. LOL! Jys Bf. these 6 days really pass so fast -____- and im back to do things all alone again. diao..
__

OK! POP picture i still haven post up yet. cause it is in camera. lazy to slot in the SD card la. LOL!! so Wednesday i met up his mom at Pasir Ris interchange and head to their POP. everything finished quite fast. Proud of Bf! we reached home early, unpacked his bag and NAP till 4 plus. Dota abit then head to YCK stadium Sakura buffet for dinner to celebrate his Mom and Sis birthday.

A bag Hook for his mom as present.

we also got his sis a HJ tshirt from JB F.O.S. she loves it ((:

den following day we headed off to JB.. im sick of there already, i wanna go pelangi de. but Bf dont allow as Hari Raya is coming he worry there will be quite messy so we just stayed at City Sq.

Bf got 2Ts from FOS and a belt. Renoma very chio undies from underwear shop.
he got me a long sleeve from FOS.
We bought a set of couple T as our kappa 1 really CMI already. the whole JB purchases was paid by Bf. Thanks Boy.

At kim gary feeding me de cream soup.

act to be angry! LOL lame -____-

he act to cheer me up. STUPID LUH!

i bought nail polish from face shop as usual and some ding a ling items from random shop. and when i got home i den realize my chameleon purchase is GONE! LOL!! si beh sian la! suan le. den we had kim gary again -____- i actually wanna sushi king de. but Bf want steak den kim gary lor. leave there and reached home around 5 plus.

Friday we wanna go ZOO de. but heavy rain and thunder storm. so go there oso bo hua. den we dropped the idea den we headed off to east coast park to walk around.

we look dam "attention seeking" that day as we Couple everything tgt that day. LOL!

and we got to taste Ben and Jerry latest flavor at Marina Parade Giant. free tasting. luckily not many ppl queuing. i swear that is fucking good!

we had lunch box for mini breaks. i was telling him that was meant to be sited down and eat! but ended up? we only left 2 piece of bread for picnic. LOL!! i took an hr to finish that and he took less den 10mins to finish eating it. -____-
__

Saturday and Sunday was just plainly slacking around his and my house. snuggling, dotaing, eating and sleeping tgt. and he really spree food for this 6 days and he gain weight and ME TOO LA! our dinner its always half spring chicken, rice, fries, oyster and so on. how not to be fat? so many days kept eating this.

oh ya, random! AMK basement little jerry cookies is very GOOD! but expensive ~_~

my house

his house

while playing and packing his stuff for his new unit, his stupid air con not working! thruout everything we was sweating in a air con room!

SO! he finally listened to me and check it out.

when i complain that is not cold. he kept saying "awhile more la dear"

so ended up is really air con fault -____-

after the washing it got better. but still not good -____-! and he tell me that during the night de air con is working superly well. when i am not there already. _l_

those cards i made for him. btm left, he lost the word 1 and 9 which is made from wooden blocks. SHYT him! nw de cloud seems so empty. but he like that card most also. i myself likes the recent birthday card which is de right btm 1. with him wearing army uniform. coz he got enlisted on his birthday (:

ok some super hao lian pictures. when he noe im snapping it. he kept doing it -____-

he can pull de lor. lazy boy!

dinner at a neighborhood restaurant.

i am missing him so much right now. 6 days ZOOM, finished. not enuff la! T_T yst night he still ask me, Baby tml what time meet for breakfast ah? i was like, hais.. Bf i miss u so much..

I MISS MY BOY!!!

2009-09-18T21:28:00.002+08:00

make it simple.

16/09 - Bf's POP, sakura buffet with his family.
17/09 - JB
18/09 - boonkeng breakfast, novena lunch, whampoa market dinner.
19/09 - if weather is good. ZOO! if not.. hmm??
__

i got SUPER loads of photo haven upload. very lazy lei, Bf got into Stagmont Camp.. he is going to learn all about signal thingy for 7 weeks and will be posted to unit again. so another countdown ~_~

i dunno issit a problem or is it a routine. some how i start to see the life we had last time. everyday sure got some quarrels. yst night and nearly just now during dinner. i do really care a lot about his not 细心 character. its actually a must have character. but bcoz of love many times i dont wanna care about it. just nw, as today its de last day of 7th month. every where is burning incense paper and very smokey. my asthma nearly wanna bomb off. when i told him, i dun feel the anxious feeling or can say is reaction from him. he seems like, oh er ok.. walk further down? sit another side? i dunno why the feeling he gave do hurts me. ironic.. sometimes i ask myself, why? a guy that u shower with love and care so much, a guy who time to time say he cherish and love u much. yet most of those important things he actually do forgets. etc, he can totally forget what i wanna to order for dinner when i told him more den twice. i noe even a big matter but, i dunno why i do care. small lil actions can really let u see what kind of future husband he can be.

i really wanna noe how much he do actually know about loving me. i mean, how much he knows love? each time after book out, i feel the different him. but as the day got later, he start to change but the usual him.

anyway i dun wanna stereo type anymore. just let everything be natural.

我真的不知道接下来会如何，走一步，看一步吧。

2009-09-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

15 weeks passed. Proud of Bf completed his BMT and he is POP-ing this coming Wednesday. i really hope that i can be there, but. . .

its gonna be a long entry. many many photos to upload. but only gonna do it on weekdays or when im free (:
__

Bf really changed alot alot during his days in BMT. he is only a quarter passed of his NS days. there is more changes and happening ahead. so far so good i guess. enjoyed my days together with him today until at night. i didnt hide my feelings well. i guess im too comfortable being with him that no matter what i just dont want to hide and let it all out. but i still keeping alot within me right now. i guess i just got to be understanding and flexible ba. coz i certainly noe there is more of this type of thing to come later on.

Bf is crazy eating today. im glad that he dont have to restrict himself to food anymore. i love to see him eat (: and indeed i see back the old him. so far for this 4 months, Bf really matured alot. but i starts to see the ego in him right now. the ego that always wants me to be proud of him in anything he do's. just like simple Dota matches. he just wants me to say something good to him. so this POP is really very important for me and him. but . . .
__

Bf, i just wanna let you noe. i know this 4 months have been hard for you and i really understand how is it to be inside. i noe im just a ordinary girl who is so typical that u can just find it any whr in the streets and so on. but still, you love me so much. we just enjoyed our 21 monthsary being together and still counting on strong. please let this continue my Bf. time to time we break down into tears yelling our heart out. the hurting words we used to hurt each other. yet we are still holding on strong. 21 months really isnt long, isnt short. but really it is not easy being with you. not easy . . .

looking thru our photos ever since the start just now. you really changed alot. even thou you are no longer as sweet as the past. i mean your sweet talks la. but the sweetness you gave right now, so much let me feel that you are a grown up man giving his lady the love and care. the kisses you gives me each time.. i felt that you are telling me "thanks for being by my side". the time we snuggle each other on the bed. so much felt cherished. longing for this moment to come everyday. each time i woke up in the morning. you nv noe how much i've missed you. i just dunno why i miss you so much.

Bf i want you to know,

i love to stay besides you while you r gaming, i love the way u snuggle me on bed, i love the way u pads my cheek and head, i love the way u kisses my forehead, i love the way you sacrifice your book out morning for me, i love the way you gives up everything during book out for me, i love the way you look into my eyes and kisses me and den tell me you love me, i love the way you always without fail to bring me out for food/games/movies/presents/surprises when you got the ability to do so, i love the way you do funny tricks just to make me bring back my smile, i love the way you help on my jacket, i love the way you strictly looking at me telling me how "cui" i look now and how worry you are, i love the way u hold onto me during train ride/bus/walking/standing/waiting/etc. . . I love you and everything.

P.S i wish to have endless wishes

2009-09-07T20:08:00.003+08:00

pictures already in com. shall edit and upload it soon.
Friday
rushed home after work within 30mins got home from town. bathed, chat and slacked. fetch Bf off from there at 4. Kfc for lunch den bus-ed home. off to town for G-force. yay for the cuteness. eeeks for de storyline.. day ended ~~quite~~very fast.
Saturday
Bf got review at polyclinic for his cholesterol result. managing well(: den cabbed to my place's market to buy ingredients for bakutteh and tangyuan. everything goes well and Bf is happy with it(:
Headed vivo later at noon for shopping. Bf got me a mini tote which i wanted long ago. i love it so much(: thanks Bf.
Sunday
woke up early even thou its raining outside. headed to Bf place for breakfast/lunch/packed turtle shell/fold sleeves/~~cried~~/laugh/watched him dota/munch/send him off
__

i ~~dont know~~ what's wrong with me recently. last week already yet behaving like a child. i cried on saturday and sunday during with him. i feel unbearable. why is it so? i cried so much yst night. i made him worried. he placed down the phone later than usual time.

im able to pull myself thru the night and get over it. i bought myself bubble tea and stay cheerful till i got home after work. i ate big fat pork belly and mushroom for dinner. ~~i feel better this way~~ i am sorry i lied to you again on the phone just now. i hided my feelings. i am missing u seriously lots..

2009-09-03T18:08:00.004+08:00

HELLO!!! time just ZHOOM and is thursday already. 6PM, another 6 hours it is FRIDAY! Bf book out day (:..

today work should be ok but because of da yi ma, *shake head*. but still able to manage cause its 2nd day already (:
ever since Bf got into NS i have been visiting this forum call flowerpod daily chatting with some girls and guys regarding NS thing and i even got to know afew of them (: they are real nice beside 1 super thick skin 1. not sure why we still entertain her till so happy. thanks to her also that make our day passes fast too. haha :D

on d way to work today, brought along my story book to read. but i just couldnt focus into the story. my mind is full of you.. im not wearing tights today for work.. so im able to place my fone with me. yet i was being irritated by mense and busy time. i fork out time for you.. yet i didnt get any good words. i know you dislike the feeling. but i only wish that u can face it bravely. i didnt mean that i dont want to hear ur whining. but i hope to hear ur lovely voice. i thought i am your moving strength. you made me feel useless. placing down the phone so reluctantly yet u didnt knew it. i was hoping a sms from you. but just a simple goodbye. where is the point right now? do you know how much determine we need to hold back on ourselves to anything everything. we are your motivation everyday. what about us? we should cherish time and not hopping it to pass quickly. but right now?

sorry for my ranting..
__

my 2 fatty hamster is getting real fat! OMG esp that black 1. -____- i just saw him rolling off de tube and drop into de dust -______- just bcoz i placed some vege on his food plate. gosh -.- i think next changing im gonna switch both of them around. fat 1 goes to the tank. the slightly not so fat 1 goes to de cage. "mommy, i am not fat but FLUFFY!"

I AM DESPO FOR DE G - FORCE

Bf better bring me there. and he requested me to cook him ba-kut-teh bcoz that time we tasted a yucky 1. so i claim that i can even cook better den them -_____- gonna ask granny to teach! and Tang yuan also. cause i got craving for it also. even thou i cant really touch glutenous rice.
__

*random chatting in MSN*
Daughter: daddy, why r u still online and not home yet?
Daddy: coming liao
Daughter: your wife dinner tonight stinks lei
Daddy: ha... ha... ok la i go bathe den come back liao.
Daddy: spank into her face la?
Daughter: -_____-"
__

that time was chatting with Joei on msn regarding marrying about guy and how much he needs to have b4 agreeing to it. we both said alot of pattern. but i guess till the end we will still agree to it if we manage to reach that moment luh.. and today my friend happen to ask me whether i want to have a baby. i was like WANT LA!! but thinking back.. how can i be so selfish. just bcoz of i wan a baby but nv think about him/her future when i dont even have enuff saving right now.

speaking of being tgt. "Love is Blind" this phrase truly exists. i really got no idea how 1 person can endure being with that particular childish/thick skin/demanding/no brain/bad temper/etc.. for sucha long time. and ppl can even two time a person off bcoz of this kind of ppl!! yet he/she got a AVG living person loving them. but they chose to be with a monster -____-. LOVE IS BLIND LA!

i got to really admit, i love my Bf more than he do. everyone noes including my family and his. but who cares? =3 if 1 day he really leaves me. i shall cry all i wan and step up on my feet again! MUAH HAHA! =x

ok la dun wanna post so much. =X

ROCKS!!

2009-08-31T19:51:00.004+08:00

Very fast, a day have passed. i only have the sight of you getting down the bus reaching towards me giving me a very warm n sweet smile calling me baby.

"when i see your smile, tears roll down my face" - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

we didnt cherish that 4 days well. we quarrel through out till your book in on Sunday, leading me right now deep deep missing u. is it because i am not grown up yet? why i always have this kind of unwanted feeling in me yet other girls is doing so well like u said?

doing things making myself busy isnt doing anything good. i dislike to listen to songs no matter what. be it a happy 1 or a sad 1. your image is all over my head.

"You never said, you never said, you never said that it would be this hard"
"Can you hear me when I call your name?
When I call your name" - Daughtry, Chris

time and time we sat down and talked. we shared. till today.. things have nv got better. but we are holding on strong. we left each other.. back facing back.. eventually we walked up towards each other face to face again. recalling back those days you left me alone.

"If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
Don't tell me I will make it on my own,
Don't leave me tonight,
This heart of stone will sing till it dies
If you leave me tonight." - Secondhand Serenade

i was so drunk that night. u left me all alone in the dark. you even angry over me the next day. i gave in..
u did, i gave.
u did, i gave.
u did, i gave.
u did, i gave.... when i did.. you show.. i have never walked out of you.. but u pushed me away with your words. "Bye" remembering the past. i felt so much loved by you. right now.. i dunno issit bcoz of army or bcoz like u said.. u really see the importance of me. but u didnt show..

"Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping,
I listen to your breathing." - Secondhand Serenade

i do not noe whether i am or not. like u said b4 i am a cry baby. i cry when im sad.. i cry when im pain.. i cry when im happy. but i will never ever cry if i walk away.. those tears i have shed for you.. right now.. enough to flood the city.. thinking back.. u always ought to give up.. i cry to you.. talking to you.. explaining to you.. loving you.. not giving up on you.. whenever i whine...
....
....
....

"Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

~~My back is turned on you~~
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

Almost lovers always do" - One Fine Frenzy

i miss you so much even thou so much things happened b4. its my 1st time being with some1 younger than me.. there is ~~not~~ much difference. but i am still a girl standing on my own without my mom. i got to learn things all by myself ever since i am 2.. i am still stupid to certain things.. right now... i dunno why am i feel so helpless.. i've got a huge feeling that i will cry out loud again once u call...
__

Me: i dunno what to have for dinner. barby, give me some suggestion?

Him: if you have the effort to go downstairs alot things to buy and eat de ah. can buy small bites. fried chicken, soup.. alot alot de wor at ur market.

Me: today monday most of it close la. i trying to save some more on de weekdays so i can spent more on the weekends with u. maybe i shud just SLIM! =X

Him: Wa piang dear ah you where got fat dao sia! zzz nothing for you to slim liao la dear!

Me: Thigh la! so flabby!

Him: Dear that 1 baby fats lai de lei! i want that 1 luh!! dun you destroy it k! its ok de baby. i love the way you are right now.. dun slim k! muacks, pinch face*
__

LOL!!! i remembering promising you that once u get to 90kg i will be 55kg. but i bargain with u and promise u instead of 55kg i get to 50kg 1st. but when u got to 96kg i am still 47kg x= and even drop to 44kg that time.. =X lucky i didnt fulfill my promised x= bcoz you are 84KG right now!! HUMPF!! u better fat back abit once after ur POP!!!

2009-08-30T09:49:00.003+08:00

looking at the calender. it is coming nearer to POP. but if u count in days/hour is rather far. haven ease down due to yesterday and previously. weekend is getting disastrous den usual. no 1 noes how long can we hold on but who cares? atm i still with him. is near to 10AM right now. i rmb saying this yst at 10PM. 12 hrs gone. why is time passes so fast. i haven really cherish this 4 days well. terrible ): but all i can do is only cry? asthma isnt getting any better. pump finishing soon. every single night i nid to pump at least twice. weather problem even thou i like it to be these way (:

we have catched Final D4. well i think is super duper sucks. i so much wanting to watch the proposal. but Bf seems not really interested with it. keep hearing how good is it makes me drool -____-. my fren can even give it 10/10! mayb i shall watch it alone next weekdays since im resting for next week instead of working.

i shall make it short as i am going to prepare to meet Bf at tpy for lunch at KFC again ><

dinner at Hot tomato - PS.. the food was SO-SO. $30 for the both of us. Bf have sirloin and i have prawns. i like the mushroom soup more then the main. >< Bf got the bill. so i didnt whine that much thou. bcoz we have hard time deciding what for dinner. i always have temptation and craving over food. but when the food is in front of me. i got no more feeling to it anymore -____- *dun blame me*

Bf's cam night mode really not good. but bcoz there is still ppl behind us tats why i didnt want to use my phone. de flash is terrible for mine -___- anyway the focus was on the cap. (: BBs'

i got dam bored while trying to push my sh!t out and saw this poor piyo being stuck behind water pipe for months and finally brother is using it to play? -____-
__

i really dunno what will happen to my blog tag later on bcoz of this. but well I DONT CARE?

LOL!!! LOL!!!! Bf wanna made me laugh yst so he put on my hairband and slotted it with my tie hair thingy while i am making hot those dim sum. so i acted that i didnt notice and sneak out with my HP and SNAP it suddenly. its blur but i am satisfied x=

i hope these photos never end.

i still loads to say but time is tight and i got to get rdy. SO!! GONE

2009-08-21T15:39:00.003+08:00

have been working for 4 days. today i off myself. shouldnt have off.. coz i worry i couldnt manage thru so many days. which actually i can (:

i rmb having this for dinner on wednesday

this week is totally a sinful week for me. breakfast is always milk and butter cookies. but! i still eat at work place. total 2 breakfast. pan fried butter salmon, fried rice, bubble tea, fried pork cutlet etc -____- and yet few hours later i ate ramen and pork cheeks/pork belly for lunch. luckily i like walking home from boon keng. instead of taking str8 bus home.

and work place tortoise finally come home! LOL! it gone missing on sunday but i found him near the door way yst. SO DAM FUNNY!
__

as i was watching 花样男子 just now on ppstream. i misses boy so much. for the whole of yst.. my mind is friday instead of thursday. always coming to the near of book out, i misses BF so much.

i really prays for HT's BF is alright. coz the feeling really isnt good. cousin is asking extra ticket for me during POP. i cant wait to see BF throwing away his jockey cap tat day. HAHA! and he really slimmed so much. *heartaches* i am going to make him a surprise tml. ever since he got into army. i haven really make him any food besides the steam chicken. coz he is always craving for KFC. finally this time he ask for me decision. i am tempting niwa sushi! i love eating cheap.

and right nw is still drizzling. i cant go out to buy ingredients. >=((
__

i suddenly dunno why so misses the time when u pad my head, twice. the feeling.. the way u looked at me. right now, i misses that pair of eye. u always gave me that feeling thru ur eye. i misses that feeling more then wanna hug you right now. u always say u wanna protect me. the way u grab hold tightly of my hand when walking thru the crowd. the way u walked quickly approaching the door just to open for me. the way u pull out the chair for me. the way u wanna hold onto my bag for me. the way u blow away de heat from food and feed it into my mouth.

thursday we quarrel terribly. once again, you hold onto me. those words u said to me. the way we both teared. i noe you are those type of guy who dont cry easily. not even tear. but yet, time and time u cry for me. tears for me. i have 358 saved msges from u. 1000+ msg in my inbox. all is the love u have send me during camp. u nv fail to cheer me up.

but i really wish to noe. why are u always making me cry! miss u oso cry, happy oso cry, angry oso cry, laugh oso can cry. rmb back those times when those third party appeared, how both of us forgive each other.. i feel so bliss right now. but.. how long can this last?
__

OK i dun wan emo! BF! u promised to stock up my room with food this weekend! make sure u fulfill ur promises ok! i wan papaya milk, butter cookie, famous amos, honey star, sugar biscuit, chips, packet drinks.. opps =x issit abit too much? and stop shouting at me for finishing those cookies so fast! i cant live without them ok? =x
__

BF having live range today. 9 hours more for him to contact me. finally the rain stopped! i nid to wash my clothes asap and rushed to ntuc b4 it starts raining again, i hope not.

P.S i love you

I will be waitting for you
看着天上的星星
我会想到你

2009-08-17T20:41:00.003+08:00

OK! got influence by HuiTing. so i got the urge to blog while waiting for BF's phone call.

Saturday

went to fetch him at 1PM+. as usual KFC for lunch. even if i forget to bring my coupon, how expensive is the set without coupon. he still insist to have it for lunch -___- for all book out we have been eating tat for lunch or dinner luhs -____-

ok den! went to get Mr Bean de green tea cake for BF. bcoz i was whining the whole week about how good de bean cake is. BF say its too sweet. but i think is tempting. LOL! ok den bus39 back to khatib! den off to Suntec coz BF wanna bring me to toy museum. wat i think that it is actually kinda waste of time luh. bcoz nth to see de lei. those cos players really dam cmi -____- either the wig nv wear properly or the looks really dunno like wat. [no offense] i dont really feel good in there as i too long no contact with crowds le. but ok la.

i am a fan of Gundam b4 ok!

i dunno who is he cos playing. S.W.A.T? LOL! i oso ask BF to wear his full amour here. prone down and stay still. he was like laughing like mad when i asked him to.

this Joker really joker -___- just right after i snap him. he jump right str8 infront of me. creeps me out. i was like WTF! lols. i mean his face is really right in front of me. scary -____-

BATMAN oso shopping the OK!?

lucifer! BF! faster book out le PEI WO DOTA!!

there are many pretty dolls being dressed up in different season and country. personally i like this 2. :D so pretty!

nw i kinda regret didnt buy it when BF keep asking me wan anot =((

this slim pig slimmed nearly 14KG within 3 months. PLEASE EAT SHYT LUH U! so slim nw. HUMPF!

after tat i am super hungry. oso cant decide wat to eat. so ended up in xin wang. i had my fav luncheon meat sandwich and BF have baked rice. ok at that moment i feel so bad. BF didnt ordered properly of what i wanted. which he miss away the EGG thingy and egg is my life! so made a big fuss out of it. ok i noe, i am being super demanding and unreasonable bcoz i throw black face thruout de whole meal when BF kept apologizing and didnt really touch his baked rice when is hot. ended up he having cold baked rice for dinner ): sorry hub. but really luh! de baked rice so peppery la. and sandwich without egg taste good oso bcoz its with u xD

SO! after that we headed home to slack till late night den off to Orchard for Where got ghost. 7/10 for it ba. i think is SUPER LAME! but is funny. i like the 3rd story. is super true for nearly every family. 2nd story is ok. but 1st story is so dam FUNNY! esp the "sugar-free" part.

after show is near 2AM le. had mac for supper and watch arsenal VS everton live. after that as BF as sprained his leg, we took cab home instead of walking home.

day ended around 4AM
__

Sunday

woke up at 7.30AM bcoz dam reluctant BF booking in. dad fetch me to AMK station as he is going bird shop with brother. headed to BF house. his mom made us sashimi, sushi and banana milk for lunch. slack around BF house, den left early to pasir ris for KFC. BF actually have 2 weeks MC. but he requested for 3 days but he still booked in. coz is only leg problem. not fever. so, now is already end of monday. have no idea when BF booking out. but hope it is on friday. NO RT pls.

work is fine today. Kanoi is back to japan for a week. FREE! had pan fried butter salmon for breakfast :D and work place ramen for lunch. FAT!!

is 9.06PM already. BF haven call yet. guess he having a long RO today.
__

P.S please be well. Prays*

feifei is really getting fatter each day xD

[BF's hammy has just passed away recently due to a lump on his neck. ): we suspect is cancer, RIP hammy]

RIP

browsing back my photobucket..

i look so fat last time. and BF look so slimmed. LOL!!

my fav IKEA toy!!

last time so fat (: nw so skinny ):

it has been 3 months. and now i am still missing my HAIR!!

*GONE!

2009-08-14T16:46:00.005+08:00

* *Baby Baby*, 第一次见到你，我就知道你是 *让我心动的人*... 有了你，我才真真的*发现爱*, what is *L-O-V-E*..
跟你在一起时，希望 *冻结* 时间，*忘记* 一切的烦恼..
看不到你时，我就有*无尽的思念*..

想对你说，在这世界里，有个人一直想着你...那 *就是我*..
And finally, 我只想.. 只想.. *只对你说*..
Dear.. 我爱你!

没有人可以取代你在我心里的地位。

realize those words inside it? this msg is wrote by BF when we just started being together :D he knows i like JJ. so he made a love msg using JJ song's title.
__

Sorry didnt update luhs! was busy with work. alright ever since Tuesday BF has booked in. i kept myself busy all day. movies, work, sleeping, slacking, eating and so on. and recently i have been a big eater. plus dad already throw away my weighing machine! so i dunno exactly how much i weigh now ): actually was suppose to fetch BF soon. but due to his MC last time. he nid to complete his 12KM marching. end up! nid RT lor. means tml noon den can book out le ):
__

i shall post some out dated pictures.

Book out

i love his Book Outs (:

G.I Joe

Sakae Sushi - look at his poor hands. full of sand fly bitebite!

Chawan Loves Loves (:

BF comparing his BOTAK head with de bowl of ramen! LOL! still my work place taste better right! their ramen sucks -____-

National Day - also our Monthsary

BF got me this as present. and 200G of cookies. i finish it within 3 days -____- terrible me. is actually wanna get me flowers. but luckily he decided on the tableware set which i wanted it long ago. but he got CON by it. this set comes with a lid. but the sales person insisted that there is no lid. plus BF already paid for it already.

Feifei eating mantou

SEE! this notti BF with my buttercookie tin. inside is all my stuff. he started to take it all out and place those hair clips all over his spec and BOTAK head. imagine!! -____- i couldnt snap in time. if not he sure will be pleading me to delete it. LOL

SEE HIS FACE -____- so notti.

:D

DOTA again la -____-

IKEA - Kim Gary

i swear! we didnt planned our outfit that day! (: just so coincidental.

usually i go ikea, i like to bring the BIG mouse around where ever i go. and hug it during shopping around. but i didnt bring it around these time. so BF qns me. so he went to take one of it from the toy corner and pass it to me (:

but he got me a smaller version as it is new.

SO! as usual! bringing this mice around shopping in ikea. as we was nearing the counter. i ask BF shud i buy this mice and let it be Feifei's satisfying partner? BF agreed! LOL SO! we queue up. and BF started to say everyone buying big stuff. but we only buy 1 MICE! LOL so he feel kinda stupid, so he pass me the money and asked me to queue myself! bcoz i started to do stupid stunts!

MICEY: "Mummy, i dont wan to go to the custom T_T"
ME: "But, you soon to have a partner u noe? LIVING 1"

in ikea counter. there is this railing for u to rail heavy objects to the counter. or u can just hand carry it to this cashier. but i placed feifei's partner on the railway. frankly speaking. BF n i was luffing mad loud bcoz of this. LOL! and i swear i luff till tear..

and the cashier is laughing too :D BF paid for it and off we go over to giant le!

we spree-ed in giant. we bought lot of snacks! and now i have finish all already. but surprisingly my president papaya milk still left 3 packet! well, i dont bear to finish up ): LOL!

we returned back to Tampines still blur of wat to eat. so BF requested to have kim gary!

i am missing the fried wanton thingy already ):
__

this morning work was satisfying due to XY entertainment and chatting. i just love working with the Xs and SY. ok la jimmy uncle too. xD anw! this morning i drank 1 big cup of milk ended up kept shyt-ing -____-

work place. with jimmy uncle behind me.

its only 6.29PM! i still have like 16+ hours to see my notti boy! seriously i think he is blueing right now. coz his bunk mates r getting rdy to book out. but luckily he got lot of partner staying back with him this time.
__

i am dam tired right nw and wanna nap. but brother is being so irritating. bad mood! >=(
__

[Edited]
its 7.44PM right now. family gone out. no brother irritates me but i still unable to fall asleep even i try to do so just now. so i gonna watch 溏心风暴 again. i love the story line so much. previously BF shared with me about a story regarding a rich guy n his family. is really true that there is no carefree ppl in such world. even thou u r rich, but there is still matters that troubles you. like family snatching over greed and so on. poor family thou to be happier but there is still much more troubles to go thru everyday. i have been thru b4 when i am young. mom give up this family when i was 2. think back about it, i dont really feel hurts thou even i nid a mom so much. but my Dad did a great job. but yet, he is still a demanding dad. as in, he dont really demands on me much. but he has a really bad and hot temper that wat i think i inherited from him. i never wanna change myself until i met this current BF.

each time i thought about what dad said to me b4. i think that it is true. but i do have mom character thou. that is i am sensitive to ppl around me. when they r unhappy or such, i am being affected too. i dislike to see them being irritated or annoyed by my behavior n such. some times when i lay on my bed. thinking about my past n present. thinking about my BF. time really passes so fast. its coming to BF n I being together for 2 yrs. seriously i never had such sweet n cuddly 2 yrs relationship with anyone of my Exs. usually when we about a yr plus things started to change.

me myself isnt the perfect 1, always wanted to has a perfect guy. it is not impossible. is just how i look at him. i also warned myself and often remind myself to stay protected. cause if i falls again this time. it is really a hard 1. we both have given so much for each other till now.

BF told me, as we grow up. we will noe how to handle and stay devoted to each other. ppl do change dont we?

its ironic but its true that often when we quarrel, ended up crying the 1 is me. yet the one who is ignoring is usually him no matter whose fault is it. comes to quarrel, unhappy things kept running thru my head, den i start to spout nonsense and those things we have done in the pass. i do admit i do compare. i always throw BF's dignity and integrity down. i am really a bad GF. but he is also the 1st BF that whenever we started to hang up the phone, i will reflect my own mistakes and try to think of a way to smooth things out. while is more of that 1 who always keep quiet and listen to what i want to say n do. i am a strong headed person. those who noes me well. should understand.

saying about friends. i havent really met someone who understands me totally and will be there for me always besides lilian. i am not trying to boot lick her or so? bcoz there is no advantage for me or her. i noe her ever since i am in Sec1. but we arent close till we got into Sec3. speaking the truth i dont really like her during the start. bcoz of her girly voice n too friendly toward the guys. LOL! but indeed she is a good friend.

she will sms me or call me whenever there is nth going on just to say hi to me. she will send me updates or email me. when i am bored or lonely, i can just give her a miss her and she will calls me back just to spent time with me. and frankly speaking, i am willing to listen to her rant n nonsense even thou is really useless kind. bcoz she is 1 friend that stood by me till nw that nv fails to continue our friendship. we seldom contact each other. but we still able to talk no matter wat. we share everything. as in not totally la, but most of it. even when she is attached, she is find the time to contact me or meet me up at a nearby place just to say HI and BYE.

friends i dont nid to have many. just 1 good BFF is enuff for me. Thanks GF. (:

its 8PM now. seriously i am missing BF so so much.

2009-08-10T09:23:00.003+08:00

BUSY!

Saturday, went to fetch BF from pasir ris, headed home for him to bath den rush down to bishan for G.I Joe bcoz town seats dam pack. plus we may be heading down to chomp chomp for dinner. anw the show is dam great. i even think its better den transformer2. but BF thinks that transformer is better. nvm luh, he still BOY! =X whenever i get to area with yami yogurt i couldnt resist. they are having national day promotion! u just say I Love Singapore u get free regular topping. so we ordered a medium cup. and once i got into bishan! i oso couldnt resist for de steam egg dessert! so we had that too end up we are too full -____- its still hungry thou. but no idea what we craving for. BF wanted to head to pennisular for sprees. so head down, shopping! i killing spree already but BF haven get anything -___- BF kept repeating " dunno is who say wan shopping, end up dunno who is the 1 kept buying " ok he is referring to me. he is de 1 want to shop. but end up i am the one to buy alot. LOL!! dinner end up sakae -____- photos later. lazy to upload. we end early for the night coz BF is dead tired.

Sunday, waited BF to finish his things in the morning den he headed str8 to find me at my hse. dad and i waited dam long for BF to arrive. coz BF helped us to get lunch. no idea wat is he taking so long! when he pop into my hse finally i got the answer! LOL

ITS OUR MONTHSARY! so he went to get me famous amos cookies. [he really wants me to grow fatter] he buy more den usual -____- and got me PM ceramic tableware set which i wanted quite awhile ago. THANKS BOY! he thinks so much! flowers, eeyores, toy, PM! i rather have this PM den flowers. i love you Boy..

SO! settled lunch den as usual he pak DOTA! den i beside him whining.. coz i wanna go ikea la! he complain say far say lazy. bcoz i just wanna go there for fun -____- *that is the problem BF! who ask u! u have a car but u dun have leisens!*

when im preparing to get rdy, this notti BF kept playing with my hair accessories! he clip all over his head when he got NO HAIR!! i wanna shot down luh! but i am too late -____- but he really brighten me up. :D ok den we headed down to bugis as he requested to. but reach there not long we got to head back to relative hse for gathering as my relative is staying at 30th floor directly infront of us is flyer. anw, its our family routine to be there each yr. so i brought BF up this yr. (: another happy moments. we left there around 9PM den head down to town to slack.

OH YA! forget to mention. BF did bought something from topshop! LOL but is after i have done much purchase these 2 days. :x and he even saw his SGT there.
__

anw BF came up a very funny idea of his fashion. he wanted to wear that way. i personally thinks that it is not really good on BF. i really hope some times i can get back a lil and let him have his own thinking and doing instead of restricting. or may be the way i care for him it is way too much. i have no idea what he thinks actually. but i do noe the reply he gave back to me is a pleasant 1. we often share ideas and thoughts.

BF there is actually alot things i wanna discuss with you about. but i dont think nw is the time to talk about it. may be after ur POP? i wanna love u better, i mean in a way to make myself better.. i dun change myself just to suit u or love u. i wanna change myself bcoz i love u and i want to be with you. i am glad that our conversation always dont end. we share, we talk, we tease, we play tgt. we nv fail each other until today. i really thanks God for giving you to me. i dont really care what others think of us now. even thou i do compare some times. which brought u lot of stress. making u heartache. i may be a cry baby to you. whenever i cry, u get so lost and empty that u just stood there dunno what to do. but as time goes by. i see ur actions, walking to me and clear my tears. hugging onto me telling me not to let go. these actions.. lots and lots making me, telling me. "How can i ever find such wonderful guy within my world anymore?" am i being too exaggerated? but this is what i am thinking. i feel stress at time being ur GF. may be you are too good. i always want to present myself over then my expectation just to suit u. time to time, you whisper into my ear "Baby, you look beautiful today". the way u look into my eyes. i wonder, what if 1 day. just 1 day i no longer look good. am i still beautiful? i noe you will say "of coz baby." LOL! i noe i always wear too over pretty. and u always like me to be only wearing just a shorts n a tshirt without tying my hair. but i just wanna look good beside u.

OK! think that i am saying too much. i shall just cut it short! I LOVE YOU BOYFRIEND!!

[picture soon]

off to prepare myself n get over to BF place. later on as he promised! IKEA!! WEEE..

2009-08-06T19:53:00.003+08:00

i really have no idea why am i feeling so bad right now. i thought things have already been over. no, not yet. as i separates from my body divided into two. the cheerful side and 1 side falling down.. as the night falls. my feeling goes along with the sky.

i am blogging randomly right now. i couldnt concentrate on anything. nth at all. not even movies or games. i thought all these able to let me cope through the night or may be day. be honest, i haven been good this week. i got no idea why? issit due to sunday? i have no idea.. im am so confused. i got so many question mark. i trying to be so optimistic whenever these troubles come up to me. i couldnt avoid.

i hope right now i am good at words. so i can just type all those chimilogy words out so no 1 can understand what shyt am i ranting or blogging about.

[Drafted]

2009-08-02T09:13:00.002+08:00

BF is home after his Field Camp. he pass one of the most important activity in BMT!! You are the man my BOY!! everyone is proud of u. ur family, my family and ME! MUAH HAHAHAS!! and this coming week is ur SIT test. i am so gonna be proud of you again.. and you are getting FITTER n slimmed )): sorry that i cried that day when i fetch you. i dunno why am i so heartache. i noe u suffer alot inside. but u still bringing me smile and accompany me thru the night and yst. follow me no matter where i wanna go. even thou u r dead beat tired.

i noe yst u nearly wanna flare. bcoz u tot i scolded u. but no, is just i over reacted. and yet, u still cuddle me back into ur arms. i noe de feeling of so tired and wanna flare out sometimes. Thanks BF.
__

31/07

BF called me around 7PM. but b4 i did ask my cousin to check for me whether is he been confine n book out time n such. BF! sorry that that call gave u a fright! LOL u noe wat am i refering >.<~ i didnt noe my cousin call ur sgt str8 la -___- OK DEN!! after the phone call, i feel so much ease. as usual i prepare myself early. i nearly late luh! but luckily i and BF reach there at the same time.

and BF always walk away 1st from his bunk mates just for me. BF thanks you again.

BF wanna have KFC, but its too late. all close le. so we headed home and have MAC at his hse. we had MCspicy meal and double filet o fish meal!! LOL BF eating back his lost. and i swear he really finish that 2 burgers!

later on after he pompom.. we waited for NR1 headed to town. i regretted T_T.. shud have headed to gelang. shall do this next coming week. ((: HEH!! reached home at 4AM den off to bed.
__

1/8

everyday just passes so quickly ever since BF got into army.

we met around 12PM at my hse for my cravings. den off my home to slack! i help BF to dig his ear bcoz of those camo.. and slowly he fall asleep on my lap. and YES! he really fall asleep. he even dream. LOL! but i dun wanna sleep. coz sleep time fly. so he oso dun wan sleep den wake up and accompany me. soon after we left hse to town coz meeting my GF. b4 that i was wearing I love Boyfriend T-shirt. den DAD saw! LOL i wore b4 so many times he nv nag. yst finally JEALOUS! he told my BF he look after me so many yrs i oso nv wear I love DAD! LOL -____- and he asked me to go search for 1 and buy to wear. OK LUH! i go find lo.. -____-

headed to fareast 1st. bcoz i wanna get hair clip and shop around to spree. but dunno why see wat oso no interest. den tummy GROO GROO le. but GF not here yet. so i call her and tell her we settle dinner 1st. so headed to SHAW and have fast food again. no nid to say u all noe la. its BF idea again! saying about this, im tempting that fish red bean again T_T BF!!!! i wan to eat!!

after that met LILIAN le den headed to ION to shop around and check out LongChamp for her. and citibank credit card having 30% off which is super worth. and she is attracted to it. i oso attracted to 1 of the colour. T_T and somemore nw all de price raise again. lucky i bought it early. not that heartache..

K den i headed back to my ThreeSixty market to SPREE!! bought peppermint tear, pretzels and biscuits! YUMMY! AS USUAL LA! let BF say.. LOL!! he just love to provoke me dunno why..

BF, i just love the way u hug me in the crowd. the feeling you gave, really melts me.
__

walked to TAKA, and cineleisure. had my small lil supper at there den headed home le.

even thou time passes very very very fast. but i did cherish every moment with BF. we chat, we laugh, we giggles, we mad, we eat, we shop, we jump, we run etc..

actually when you told me u wanna go for the SIT test, i was abit down. i am not that strong as wat u think im able to make it thru de 3 days. ya i am strong. but i still needs u. but i noe u wanna go thru it. You are my man. JIAYOU! i shall always support u. luckily ur meticulous mom wrote u the fieldcamp letter. ur kuku PC dont allow u to bring in my letters. how about this SIT test? actually this feeling is stabbing me again.

But, you dont have worry about me. i'll be fine (: like u say. big girl le.. must take care of myself. i will de.. do u noe how much i wanted to cry right now. do you noe how much am i missing you for that 5 days? yet u r going off to another 1 tml. see those bruises u got thru the camp, those insect bites, the blisters on ur both hand. i really dunno what to say.. but to support you all the way le.. sometimes i really wish not to fetch you back camp. the feeling that i carry away from you. do u noe how hard is it? whenever i walked away. i feel that actually i still have lot of words to tell u. but...
__

P.S you noe i will always wait for u no matter what. you noe it clearly this relationship isnt a easy 1. you noe how much we meant to each other. please promise me to be well n good inside. you are the best guy i have met thru my life. and Thanks god you belongs to me right now. i dont wish for more but i still wish u to be healthy and happy always BF. I love you.

2009-07-31T17:25:00.002+08:00

i simply just spent the whole day on bed today, cause using laptop downloading things. so no nid to get up at all. my napping is just all an hr an hr. it wont last more den an hr. my phone didnt ring at all besides cousin sms today. my fren got a secret call from her BF of de same COY as BF. but he still haven call me nor sms me. im getting abit worry right now.

and as cousin told me the time and fren's BF time is slight different. BF, call me asap please. i noe u like to rush things over and call me at 1 shot. can u at least please let me ease down abit 1st as u noe im a paranoid GF? seriously im so dam missing u right now den usual.

i read back my whole msn history about U, BF. i smiled and teared.. looking at those foolish words and qns i used on u. and yet u r still able to love me so much so much. hold onto me whenever i wanted to give up. and yet i always say i wanna to end off this relationship without any reasons.

i kept repeating Guardian Angel that u have sang to me. listening to the sweet voice of urs. i simply love the ending part. u speaks it so softly that it soften down my heart whenever i feel down.

BF, i dont love you because i need you. I need you because I love you. and i really love u so deeply..

2009-07-27T19:48:00.003+08:00

The 1st Day

normally at this time, i have already received more den 3 sms from BF per day while he is in camp. another hr time i get to call and hear his voice. but now.. i cant do it. he is out in the field having his camping for 5 days and 4 nights. friends all said was tough and tiring. BF n i noes it clearly that its gonna be tough. but we just dont really wanna face it.

i always tot that 2 weeks confinement was tough. didnt noe that fieldcamp is here already. b4 that BF had 7 days of MC which made him miss most of the important activities. so these following weeks. i really nid to be dam understanding and compromise with him. sorry for being self centered time to time.
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some time ago taken by BF. he just love me looking like this. he can even put it on his ON/OFF fone display picture. -____-

anyway im looking like this whole time since yst night. i am missing u deep deep much..

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During his MC days. we baked cookie on his 1st day of MC. here's the picture.

he looks super unglam here -___-

i just walked away for a few mins to get drinks. he purposely roll 1 of the cookie into that big! SEE THAT? he kept giggling behind my back. i noe something isnt right already. he was laughing dam crazy when i look super mad. LOL.. he is so cute..

we left with quite a small lump of cookie dough and a whole empty pan. so i decided to make a heart shape n carve in some words. but i failed to. but he insisted on carving it. and he do it so nicely. but ended up.. i spoiled de heart -___- words didnt came out nicely also. SKILL-LESS la BF. :x

its all gone now. LOL! most of them is in my tummy.. *hit tummy*

BF n i did 1 each. but i dun rmb which is mine or his. but he kept insisting that de 1 with chocolate chips on is mine. coz he say like ORGI *blackmark* looks ugly so is mine -___-

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and previously BF goldfish was sick for very long. even afew of them died. bcoz of de filter and causes them to have bacteria that spread very fast.

last time i ever bought 3 mini baby ranchus to join his sch of fishes. but 2 didnt make it. only 1 make it. BF n i love it super much. we even name it BABY after me. recently BF's sis notice tat BABY was bleeding on de fin and tail. so BF place it into ICU.. nw it has recover.. swimming freely n blurry liao. HEHE

BF is mad cute.. and with his grandpa in the background falling asleep. HAHAS!!
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previously 2 weeks ago. we went to HK cafe to have dinner. BF really look so different when he isnt smiling. but he matured so much. i mean his outer :X he is still a baby boy to me :x * ok i noe it sound er xin * LOL!!

SMILE PLEASE BF!!

TY TY.. *im missing him so much again*
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recent saturday. we went to ION shopping. basement4 is really my heaven! and i saw that tako yaki stall which my work place director bought for us to try. i feel so lucky! the queue was like OMFG? dam long!! and it is kinda ex. 6 ball for $4.80, but is definitely worth is more den that takoball 3 for $2.30.

and we somehow got con by a stall. not really con la. its just that it looks super nice? but ended up its not really nice. i dun wan say which stall! LOL okok hint. * it is made of flour and looks like a fish * easy hint la!

and basement is all selling Jap food n bite. so yup! HEAVENLY. and i saw this Steam Bao thingy.. 1 for $4? dam ex i noe! but im so tempted by it. Wednesday night im meeting lilian to go again. i will try it!

and Provence open a very big stall there. they sell petite bread like petite crossont and wassant. it is oso a jap bread shop. i often eat it after work. coz clark quay have it. saying about this.

Clark Quay The Central open a new bread shop name Barcook Bakery.. it is right next to Club Marc.. i tell u the bread right. is really DAM DAM nice! i cant explain the feeling. i ate it 2nd time only. and 2nd time when i went to buy it. it is finished. but they r baking. so i nid to wait for 30mins for it. BF i n waited for just 2 of it..

this website have the review. go take a look..

Barcook Bakery

is a really must try! Raisin and Cream for just only $1.30! certainly worth the wait, queue.

my work place was being review by him too..

Santouka

click and take alook ba.

OK! back to ION, the shopping is big. some say boring some say fun. but BF n i think it is nice. coz they have all kind of things there. new shop new concept.. any shop u wan to see or u name its there. and many shop its still not open yet. we went on saturday. so is so dam PACK.. every restaurant is full of queues and ppl. long queue i mean. and i mean oso ALL restaurant.

and this ThreeSixty Market really really kill BF n i. the groceries inside. is really OMFG! we really can go broke in there. even ppl around us mumble about it oso. really got ALL kind of chips, biscuits, drinks, food, frozen, non frozen, live, chocolate, cheese cake, sushi, sashimi and ETC!

and we saw this!!

can u guess wat is it? dam cute right! its mini pepper..

these are the big ones with plenty of colour.. amazing..
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as i think back right now. i rather i have those days quarreling with you. at least you are there. ... right beside me. i am trying my best to hide it very well. i dun wanna befriend with emo. no point.. its 8.30PM right now. i guess BF soon off to bed. i mean off to sleep in the woods. at least this time i didnt ill-treat myself. i ate and sleep well. but i scare is during the night and the dark.

i cried so much on yst on his last call for this week. i request him whenever he is going to sleep. please look at the sky and tell me good night. BF n i have a believe. we share the same sky. whenever we misses each other. we look at the sky. and 1 more thing. God answer prayers. cause he answer to me twice b4. so, please do share your troubles with him. even thou i aint a christian. but i do believe.

whenever u think that this is the hardest. think of de past n future. there are more to come. just like right now. world is ending? without him can die? he is still right beside me even thou we cant see nor hear each other. its hard for me, no shud say its dam hard for me during the night. coz im too use to his good night msges n so on. im trying so hard to be strong. bcoz i noe he will be disappointed if i cry. but to a certain point, i teared. i have his song recording. his video recording. he record guardian angel for me. BF ur voice always melts me. ur video made me laugh non-stop. really, it is not torturing for me not to see u. but it is torturing for me not to hear ur voice. bcoz i noe u r not good there. not good... its really bad for me, just bcoz i love you over way much. my room is so filled with You every where.. how can i not miss you. really nth can resembles u. we have done too much things together..

Can you hear me,
When i call your name?

P.S Hold onto me forever... I love You Jun Wen

it is only the 1st day...

2009-07-21T15:13:00.002+08:00

BF having MC for 7 days just bcoz of slight fever due to caught in the rain. SO! he was suppose to book out this saturday bcoz of his live range and marksmanship training on tuesday - friday pack schedule. so got to book out early saturday when his training will be to late friday night.. was down on sunday night hearing this news actually. but out of sudden he called me telling me he has MC for 7 days. ~_~
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Monday
woke up headed str8 to BF hse. bought him chicken wings n chinese sausages. coz he nid to be home for phone calls in case army check up on him. and he nid to report his temperature taking 4 different timing on de day itself for this 7 days. SO! i decided to bake cookies at his hse. last time we bake b4. but didnt noe nid to convert de temperature thing and so. so end up become brownies instead of cookies.

so we tried again this time. and it came out nicely baked (: and nw only 2nd day half of it already gone! LOL.. i kept munching it non stop and nw i got myself cut on de tongue. *and i just realise BF computer got no spelling mistake corrector. i believe by the end of this post. sure alot of spelling mistakes* :D

well, thats basically how we spent the day itself. nth much done. alot of slacking. due to my work schedule isnt pack at all. so i got myself plenty of time to stay beside him. as he is going OC next week. i am so emo each time i think of it. its difficult to spent time without him already. at least im able to hear him during that 2 weeks confinement. but this time its like totally no sign of him for 5 days? and he told me this OC thing gonna last twice till he finishes his BMT. well.. i guess i just nid to cherish this week..
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Tuesday
went out of hse later. coz buying long john for slim pig BF. after that we went for a lil jog and now we r bak home slacking. im blogging and haven bath yet! he is lying on bed playing on his psp. tml im working and thursday too. so only able to spent lesser time tgt. well, yst night BF told me im gonna miss him more den he do next week! u think lei? LOL!! he so dam want face everytime
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i got dam lots of photos to upload. shall do it later at night when i got home. i go pompom 1st le.. :D

2009-07-19T09:00:00.002+08:00

我们是两颗会痛的石头 - 萧敬腾 new song. the meaning is nice.
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there is more photos in his phone. yst forget to send to me den upload. shall do it later (:
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Friday
went to work. lucky with friend motivation i manage to keep working till de end. i really hate de environment there right nw. after work, as usual return home to slack around. den headed off early to fetch BF from pasir ris.

he slim down again. T_T looking at him, i can really see he is going thru so pain hardships.

anyway, i reached there early. and this time i left hse an hr earlier. i manage to reach b4 him. this den call fetching ma! >=(( b4 tat i always left earlier oso late. HA! this time caught it le. plus BF bus happens to reach later. ^.^V *twist*

ok den after that off to KFC for dinner. even thou he is so dam slim nw. but i still worries his intake. coz i scare he grow fat and got confine! hais* stress..

den during the night, i dun wanna catch midnight movie. so we went off to meet his friends at Chinatown pub. drank a lil play a lil ate a lil. den cab home. chat alot with BF. but bcoz of police kept patrolling around and its already 3AM so we headed home.

Saturday
We met up around 12PM for lunch cum breakfast at bugis. Pastamania.. den off to get what i wanted. then bought rochor beancurd n egg tart home to eat. while gng home, BF tempt mango sago. so we ate it at a small dessert stall.

he is the 1 use to complain that this mango sago sour sour de. yet he is tempting it. -___- sometimes i dun understand guys oso! LOL

reached home, slack around. spent some loving time tgt den we played Department 42 - Mystery Case files.

BF:" baby, u issit downloaded this file at 2007 den now come hao lian to me say u noe how to play den ownself high?"

BF, u kuku ok! u lousy say lousy!

while having beancurd n egg tart! we was arguing about this game. actually was having fun la. but we always argue! LOL.. ok den super duper rush after that. coz we slack too much. den haven prepare to go out.

ok, den we off to clark quay with parents for food fair. it was a SO-SO la. not really scam. food was alright. just that isnt full. so we went up to have normal meals. den we separate ways with parent. coz clark quay really sux? im so sick of there.

the CHAP-LESS laksa. its so dam -____-ll its just laksa without sauce la. yet we knew it and still go buy. LOL

in between it i had a serious tiff with BF. now both of us.... even thou we are quarreling. but both are us still so happy. even thou its angry. coz we are still beside each other arguing. and i really sees it. coz i always like to hit off BF hands while we are arguing. but yet, we hold onto each other while quarreling. well, mayb u guys wont get what i mean here.

but just that time is so dam cram n precious for us right nw. i always think that i have endless conversation with BF. coz both of us really can talk alot. we can discuss all sorts, kind of things n rubbish. we understand both of us much but stubborn enuff to argue it off luh..
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we didnt go anywhere. just head off home to spent time tgt again. i just love to see BF pawning in DOTA. and my skills muz have drop! coz in the past only BF play with me. nw!! i can only AI.

look at his serious-ness, but he still will ans me de la. so whatever! LOL
and i was SUAN-ing his item after mins of playing. actually the item its ok la! but i just love to disturb him. LOL

and he was owning la! double killing and so on and even get into GODLIKE? anyway he is using my Garena character! coz he self claim that using my character its very smooth. as in, he get to win easily and always its a full game.

BUT AFTER THAT!

MUAH HAHAHA! he got killed by a SA. bcoz of? BF is too greedy! HP so lil still dun wan go back heal.

* believe me, he sure will say he got gang up after reading my post * -____-ll

POKE UR FATS!! )): no fat. u still dare to luff. HUMPF!

see the 2 tone
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seriously la dear! u shud noe im making fun! yet u smile at de camera. _l_ u ah!!

BF, why u look so charming huh? loves*

*RANDOM

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seriously speaking. whether its childish or not. i really ok with his army life right nw. even thou i noe he nid to slim down alot, sweat alot. sleepless night. tough life.. soggy food. being torture and so on la. but which guy no nid to go thru right now? and im oso happy enuff that he got into a good Company. welfare was ok. only strict that no food is allow and no weight gain. but i think its ok. its healthy.

his bunk mate, even thou i dunno why i started to dislike it already. but BF able to stay neutral with them den there is nth to worry about le. and sometimes i really think that me as a GF really care n worry too much about him. when he is already 20. why i care so much? LOL i even got named by his bunk mate as 24HR GF. sounds bad to me. but BF say is good.

i just like to be there for him no matter what. now, there some changes in our life and even thinking. gives mix feeling time to time. so the only way to maintain it right now its our love for both of us.

its really challenge for the both of us. during the start till now. challenges nv end b4. it is really tough. being in relationship really isnt easy. compromising really dam important.

BF, i hope the both of us can keep the promises that we have made to each other. trust n promises is really very important for the both of us right now.

Sunday
i noe, time passes so dam fast. BF nagging about booking in early today. it is so dam torturing for me actually. i rather not send him to Pasir Ris. u think la! u got to walk away 1st lei. i where got so much courage each time. .... but i just have to. very unbearable. but in a wink. he is beside me again. i just will look forward each time. even right now oso. hurts.. but so what! he is still beside me! cherish every moment rather the waste de time thinking of bad things. ((:

off to prepare and find BF le! CYA

2009-07-14T14:56:00.002+08:00

12/7 - Sunday

i woke up early coz dad brought back delicious egg tart and wife biscuits. ate afew of them den off to BF's house. had my temptation over at his place pasar malam and his hse yong tau fu is superb. esp de shishamo. den off back his hse to slack around the place.

both of us knew deeply how much we meant to each other. BF that day i am totally burst off. i didnt knew we could get into such emotional at the moment. it didnt bring me into a good ending during the day as u going to book in soon. that is why at this moment right now. im still feeling kinda down. i really hope im able to cheer u up next time. i didnt want you to see me so down. neither do i wanna see u that way.

5.30PM left his place off to PR. send him off den i headed home.

13/7 - Monday

i went to SPIT for interview. trying not to me pessimistic. i will try to have faith de (: nth much. just slacking around the hse doing housework.

14/7 - Tuesday

yst BF's fone call, i didnt really get into deep chat with him as im very tired and sleepy. him too. outfield training lasted him the whole day. but im happy that he say he had fun. but guess he is getting a lil lazy thats why he is feeling dam tired. be strong BF! u can de.

and today he told me they are learning how to pitch a tent and so on. its another tiring day. i guess i got to cheer myself up tonight in order to cheer him up :D! and soon im going off for gathering for work place. coz all the girls are going. and i miss them so much that i nid to go :)

after work was ok. work mate are fun today. so some motivation to make my working time pass faster. i am getting a lil more not so lazy. i didnt take bus back home. instead i took train back to boonkeng and walked home.

same goes for yst. SPIT no str8 bus home nid transfer. so i alight at tpy and walked home. and from clark quay to home i only nid 30mins. but bus i nid more den 45mins. and im able to save! but i just spent it on honey cake n bubble tea xD.

i really nid to tone down my thigh muscles. they look way too shaggy la!
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BF! its 3+PM right now. another 2 hrs for u to end ur training activities for today. jiayous dong ma! hope u will get a great dinner tonight even thou tekong food sux for u. no matter how diff they cook. LOL just hope its something better den just vegetable rice and no soggy food :D

P.S I Love You

2009-07-12T10:38:00.005+08:00

In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

After 2 weeks, my body is getting better. :D
and BF got slimmer after each book out. heart pain. i dislike him being SLIM! HUMPF but no choice T_T
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i can only be this way when only he is besides me. and he seldom bring out his phone to take pictures of me. he told me bcoz im beside him already why nid to snap down? so yst when he do this. im really so so happy.
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- friday morning as usual went to work. den off home to rest awhile and prepare myself to fetch BF back from tekong. and im always late even if i left my hse early! BF always give me the wrong timing. and bcoz of this i always leave hse earlier 15-30mins. but still will late! stupid!!

ok den mood was abit mix up bcoz on the way there i saw some horrify scene that i have nv see b4 in my life. but BF manage to cool myself down with a cup of milo and fishball! den took cab back to his hse wait for him to change and shoo of to orchard for midnight movie. and diet pig BF dam allergic to horror movie. i cant catch the haunting! coz end up watch transformer2 for de 2nd time! _l_ and both of us nearly fall asleep in the movie. but something spice up in between! =X [ think watever u can guys ] LOL! ok den, OH YA! b4 the movie i go get my temptation which is starbucks frap. i chose rong =.= which is espresso. tat kuku night itself i only slept from 4AM to 8AM! _l_ and its not full 4 hrs. its separated in between. *shake head* and my eye is so dam wide open! worse is im not tired at all -____-ll

- Early morning saturday got scream by BF for not sleeping! shyt him! but he mean good for me la. so we met each other at town so i can redeem my yami yogurt b4 it get expires. and PS having japanese fair. so i had my dorayaki and BF got his muah chee -____-

BF:" eh baby, help me tell de person i wan the peanut muah chee"
ME:" dear -___- that is ice cream de, ice cream where got PEANUT, those peanut kind is taiwan looking kind la pls?"
BF:" got lor pls! faster tell her "
ME:" DEAR! u wan hor u tell her urself, downstairs [basement] oso have lor pls. just nw u oso nv say, den here de u wan to eat. bias lei u. which flavor u wan "
BF:" DONT WANT LIAO! got scolded liao. 不要吃了！HUMPF >=[[ "

i plainly dont understand why on earth got such living person and yet i still love him so much. ._.
ok den we continue walking around and saw a square watermelon and some expensive apples with sample. aunty me sure go take and try. nth special for de apple lei. market fuji even taste better den tat -___- den walk pass a MUAH CHEE which he wanted. and he got a box for himself -____-. and i saw something which i LONG AGO wanted to try de sample of it =X which is the 18.90 for a loaf of bread. WILL U TRY DE SAMPLE!? of coz will right. last time TAKA always have this stall infront of cold storage. but no ppl. so i dun dare to take de sample. but this time i went to get a piece of it. and its dam GREAT.

BF:" WA, baby dam nice lei. can apply peanut butter on it dam shiok. wan anot? "
* whenever BF end a qns with a "wan anot" means he will buy for me *
ME:" [sianed face] its nearly $20 a loaf dear? "
BF:" huh? wat thing " [ giving me a look like just nw he never bring up anything subject b4 -___- ]

WHATEVER LA DIET PIG! ._. im a nice GF tat i nv PURSUED de qns.

i actually wanted a buy a yogurt sweet. but bcoz of the queue i quit buying. and BF kept saying i panariod =.= anyhow use this word on me when its so dam diff meaning! SHYT HIM. i just paranoid about his army RT thingy. and he kept saying im tat no matter how i act! _l_

anyway a mild conflict in between while deciding on food. coz we both arent that hungry. and our temptation is so dam diff. and our temptation is something which both of us dislike about it. so ended up in foodcourt. healthy meal thou. *feels better* xD coz im worry about him. but i oso told him to hack, he did actually. coz he will be booking out this coming Saturday instead on friday bcoz of de RT for his MC. so fat or not no diff.

anyway MAC have a new burger name cinnamon melts. i tot it at 1st was randy told me de cinnabon in KL. but MAC tat 1 more like sugar melt =.= SO DAM SWEET. i ate half and i put it away le. evening time we spent time at home. den night time off to raffles for dinner. and its sucks big time. i hate it. i rather settle at xing wang! HUMPF. *paranoid looks*

during night time. BF to request to stay up over midnight just to talk to me and listen to me. its really hard to find some1 who u can spur all ur heart out to chat. he is the 1st one i met. i wont feel words restricted during heart to heart talk even thou he is my BF. i can just dig my nose or scratch my ass and smells in front of him. anything everything he will just accept it.

i just simply find it so comfortable talking to him, being with him, laying on him. he totally have all the sense of security right now compare to the past. he matured in some ways. but not everything yet thou [esp de gaming part] =X . he is still my man.

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BF taught me to sing this song whenever im stress or cant find a ans to myself. i swear to god just nw when im listening to this song. im laughing like hell and jumping around. BF im so indulge to u.

“Imagine me and you, I do

Happy Together: The Very Best of The Turtles
Happy Together: The Very Best of The Turtles

I think about you day & night, it’s only right

To think about the *guy* you love and hold *him* tight

So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime

And you say you belong to me, and ease my mind

Imagine how the world could be, so very fine

So happy together

I can’t see me loving nobody but you

For all my life

When you’re with me, baby the skies will be blue

For all my life

Me and you, and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

I can’t see me loving nobody but you

For all my life

When you’re with me, baby the skies will be blue

For all my life

Me and you, and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

Me and you, and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

So happy together

How is the weather

So happy together

We’re happy together

So happy together

We’re happy together

So happy together

So happy together…”

2009-07-07T18:36:00.004+08:00

frankly speaking. i dislike blogging right now. coz whenever i blog. i feel emo. yet i got to keep it all to myself.

this few days, emo became my friend. this friend of mine came back from holidays. i bet this friend is going back to holiday again soon.
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sometimes i feel so rejected. my feelings mix. i do not noe who am i at times. im so dam fickle minded n childish. i said words often to hurt BF. i really dunno wat to do anymore sometimes. its not about handling the on off routine. its character. personality.

i wish that BF can really treat me more like a real baby like he calls me usually. i dislike to be in a man role at times.

u guys shud really download or find this show "A road to remember" and watch. its dam nice.

[EDITED]
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Girls refuse to communicate properly *Quoted from a blogger*

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “F— YOU!”

8. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.
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It’s all about character.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions;they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character;

It becomes your destiny.

2009-07-02T18:59:00.002+08:00

Boy, emotional worms crawling all over me. i have so much to tell u, talk to you. but i dunno why i feel so blank right nw. holding up my hand. i couldnt text it out. i really need you badly. i have still a full day to go to see u.
__

this song just simply reminds me of u. boy, i miss u

It's just you and me
And there's no one around
Feel like I'm hanging by a thread
it's a long way down
I've been trying to breathe
But I'm fighting for air
I'm at an all time low
With no place to go
But you're always there

When everything falls apart
And it seems like the world
Is crashing at my feet
You like me the best
When I'm a mess
When I'm my own worst enemy
You make me feel
beautiful (beautiful)
When I have nothing left to prove
And I can't imagine
How I'd make it through
there's no me without you
No me without you, no no

You hear what I say
When I don't say a word
You are my rising sun
you're the place I run
You know how it hurts

When everything falls apart
When everything falls apart
And it seems like the world
Is crashing at my feet
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/vbOc ]
You like me the best
When I'm a mess
When I'm my own worst enemy
You make me feel
beautiful (beautiful)
When I have nothing left to prove
And I can't imagine
How I'd make it through
there's no me without you
No me without you

There's no me without you
No me without you

And when you say 'baby,
it's gonna get better'
I believe you
And I wish that
somehow I could see me
The way you do
With my imperfections
You think I'm perfect
When it's not easy
You make it worth it

When everything falls apart
And it seems like the world
Is crashing at my feet
You like me the best
When I'm a mess
When I'm my own worst enemy
You make me feel
beautiful (beautiful)
When I have nothing left to prove
And I can't imagine
How I'd make it through
there's no me without you
No me without you, no no

No me without you (no me without you)
No me without you, no no (no
me without you), no

2009-07-01T16:23:00.005+08:00

last week im still able to cope thru the weeks. but i failed to this time. i had fever yst. doctor gave me 3 days mc. was suppose to go back to work on friday. but manager insisted me to go back next week. due to the h1n1 flu. so they are worry. well i guess im gonna rot at home this few days till friday if BF able to book out.

Yst night, after so long. BF n I had a huge quarrel again. useless me cry out again. i just dunno why im so sensitive towards him. no matter where is he. im so dam fuck up. why cant i just place past into my rubbish bin? BF is changing so much bcoz of me yet i doubt him. i broke his heart terribly. but he didnt kept his cool till the end. he yelled at me. ): for the past 2 night. im terribly down. 1st is bcoz of fever. 2nd is bcoz i couldnt get to work. 3rd quarrels. i really dislike quarreling with him. it is terrible. time is so dam limited. and yet we waste de time on quarreling. stupid me. im so so blaming myself.
__

On Sunday 28/6

accompanied BF to get his things den headed home for home cook dinner.
during bus trip.

den while we are at home. i went to toilet. came back and notice what BF did to himself.

HE IS SO DAM CUTE CAN! thats dam random! and i swear i seldom see him doing tat b4! he will nv make fun of my things. somemore this time he make fun of my hair accessories! and he claim that this is "Pensy Earring" which is from Maplestory one of de earring ass. *Laugh*

since he like it that way. i change it. and he didnt reject me taking picture of it!

HOW CAN I NOT LOVE HIM? LOL!!!
__

so monday i randomly thinking of hoping by to his place better den we meet each other in the MRT green line. so i rush myself and able to catch him in time. and have breakfast at his place. he said he so wanna hugged me but bcoz he is in his uniform. so unable to. this is 1 of de problem for me n him during his booking in and out. we cant touch 1 n other -.- STUPID RULES!!! den he always keep me a reluctant look. den i always make him to hug me but he cant! LOL =X

I DELETED THE PHOTOS BECAUSE ITS NOT ALLOW TO SHOW WHEN HE IS WEARING UNIFORM =.=
this is so dam kuku

HE IS SMART OK! so dam smart isn't he? but he always look so dam unwilling when he is taking photos with his uniform. bcoz its either is booking in or booking out and 2 days after tat nid to go bak. LOL!!

and i noe i look dam ugly in those pictures. bcoz my face dunno slim till like wat shyt! i will try gaining back my weight :)
__

P.S Barby, You're One In a Million

2009-06-29T13:27:00.003+08:00

i have never ever miss someone so much in my life before till i met u.

Sin Jun Wen

you changed my life even me.
__

this morning. i woke up early and rush over to BF place to give him a surprise. had breakfast at his place. eggs and bread :D BF cant eat too heavy for breakfast coz he nid to weigh in tekong. after that off to PR for his booking in. the feeling its terrible. the same shirt im wearing during ur enlistment. today also same. but i still hold on my tears. i do not noe why. i noe i will be good and independent but tears still filled my eye.

ever since i reached home just nw. my mouth kept moving non stop till nw! like green bean soup with sweet potato, sour cream ruffles, own baked cookies, famous amos cookies, butter stick, maggie, biscuits and etc. im so dam full right nw. but i still wants to eat. but i noe i will soon be a big fat pig so nw im dashing down warm water to make myself stop eating.
__

BF smsed me just nw that his SGT caught him bringing cookies in. which they arent suppose to bring food in bcoz of "BP". BF will always bring 5 or 6 pieces in. 1 day 1 piece. to help himself motivates n countdown. BF often tells me that i am the one who motivates his each day to book out. i shall always be my dear. rmb those words u said b4 and promises. nth will brk it up unless we are apart. heart apart.
__

recently i kept tying my hair instead of letting it down already. kinda dislike the hair length. but its good for my scalp. :D but seriously i nid a perm soon or a rebond. and GST rebate is coming in. dad's birthday is around de corner. HP bill explodes last month. yet i kept spending on food! =X
__

brought BF to crystal jade la mian xiao long bao for lunch on Sunday. SUPER DUPER GOOD. :D and dinner at my place. i really enjoy those notti times with BF.

BF i love u :D

photos shall update tml or wednesday coz its at desktop. and brother coming home tml night. :D WEEE!

P.S 4 days more. Jys PS

2009-06-28T08:36:00.005+08:00

:D GREAT! feeling dam energetic! yst went to fetch BF!!

*PHOTOS*
*DELETED*

he look dam reluctant! bcoz he say he looks kuku -.- but seriously he looks alright right?! ok bak to yst. i reached PR at 9AM! waited around half an hr. den finally chakra coming!! FAT HUBBY! LOL.. anyway we walked to KFC and settle our breakfast. since he say nv control diet oso can slim. might as well be sinful. so! we ate KFC breakfast. their biscuit failed me yet tempt me bcoz of popeye LOL!! den took mrt back to BF hse. slack around at his hse. drank his mom make de liang teh. den leave hse off to town! actually wanna spree de! but dun wan la. budget better :D so bought some lingerie from cotton on, and seriously i love their "love my environment bag".

den wanna buy transformer ticket de. but during the queue. 1 couple approach us to offer to sell us a pair of ticket at $16 inclusive booking fee. den i this "Gian Peng"[ greedy] 1 str8 say ok! LOL.. even thou its dam front. its like third row from de front. but ok la. halfway thru de show i got terrible gastric pain. BF even wanna me to leave de theater. he dam clever hor? coz he noes i wont want to. =.= ACT NIA U! pain for around 15mins or more? den BF asked me to eat some sweet. den ok le =.= stupid! make me pain so long! anyway BF did enjoy de show. yet i kept complaining tat those bad guys died too easy =.= and he kept saying "ITS NICE OK!" ok lor. u pay 1. i LL lor :X AND! didnt noe after show its like 9 plus? totally got no idea de show its 2 and half. i tot its only 2? PENG* coz i dam hungry and only wants kobayashi for dinner!? coz its 9.30PM le. worried will close. but BF insisted to go there to take a look.

coz lunch time i was craving for sashimi. so went to MOGU MOGU. there de service staff, shoot me T_T when i was explaining to BF about de dessert its like Torayaki, and she just hit into my conversation and say " NO! its &*%^$#&)(@$$" i cant rmb wat is it call again. but its just tat torayaki but added ice cream? den nvm. while ordering BF set i add on and say sashimi. den she raise up her hand and ask me to stop. =.= i feel so face being throw aside at the moment =.= i guess if im de previous me. i jit tao show face le. but ya i didnt. so just kept quiet. thanks fully BF hugged me tight at the moment. coz he noes de girl is up to no good? and we sat down. BF did say bad things about her. but nvm la. suan le.

and Marks n Spencer food really SEDAP SEDAP la! BF as usual say i always eat not full de! LOL. anyway we walked to bugis later on to BHG. coz wanna look at Ts. but BF sick of polo le. yet he wants a formal again. but i was telling him dun get repeat design. and lets go dig again. he okies den we off to somewhere else.

and his notti ones still argue with me on eating long john for snacks! fries and chips! he nego so long with me till i agree liao den look at me and ask me " DEAR! PEGLEG OK?" PEG UR PIGU AH! pig leg want? dam notti la! want me cant see u on book out issit? *HUMPF*

ok back to dinner at koba. luckily we went there, there is still alot of ppl eating and queuing. and this BF really dam notti. i dunno why. he is just plainly notti =.= SMS me in de store while he is queuing and im waiting. i so innocent yet he kept scolding me in de SMS :X

anyway we this 2 hungry pig settle dinner super fast. den chat abit. den FIATBOY fetch me home. slack awhile at my home den he cabbed home. a day jiu past like this le =.= why always time with him past so fast. HATED IT!

ok im going to get myself slack awhile den meet BF le. :D

2009-06-25T15:51:00.001+08:00

i fucking worried. **** having 2nd case of H1N1. that kuku bastard from ****** when clubbing at Butter Factory. and today 1 of de ** got it too. WTF. really bastard sia.

hope everyone is save in there. *prays* hope my baby able to book out tml. most importantly be save n healthy.

2009-06-20T09:38:00.005+08:00

1st and foremost! BF is HOME!! booking in on Sunday night. :D I so dam can recognize him la. yet he cant! he say i slim down T_T he dislikes it. =X i dam rush la. coz its like so sudden he told me he is going towards ferry terminal when im still home!

well! i got him a shirt, seiko watch, cookies, tamago and wire twirler etc! seriously he smells "man" la. but i dun mind. coz he is my BF anyway. but those guys look scary seriously. mayb too big size. LOL! luckily BF never turn too black. but arm and chest melts me. ESP DE CHEST PART. sry, over fantasize.

after fetching him, we rush home to change den off to orchard and have sushi tei. he look dam SUAKU! LOL!! but he really change alot even thou its only 2 weeks. he starts to care seriously about how i eat. like my intake isnt stable, and i can really see de serious in him when he is talking about it to me den de past. he even worries me about eat ice cream and drinking hot tea at de same time when he dont even care in de past. i dunno issit de botak problem. but i really feel he dam fierce right now. i suddenly feel like a lil girl more den a mother in de past. he even will lead me thru crowd right now and pull me thru it. in the past he will just wait for them to past thru den walk behind them and etc. he is so dam manly now. *Melt*

and bcoz 2 weeks i have no contact with guys at all besides dad n cousin. i feel dam butterfly when he touches me. i feel so love again! *fonder fonder , nods*

anyway! we went to watch Land of the Lost. at 1st i was dam sian about it and kept blaming BF choosing tat. but end up luff most was me. i love it! its randomly LAME! and i love random shows!

and right now i got no worries in messy BF hair and can even hit his BOTAK! and his whole arm n hand is so dam big like gonna crush me anytime. ok im fascinating again! but im glad enuff to see him again.

its only 1 day. i cant really tell de great difference he changed right? or mayb temporary who noes? BF, but u really change le. change to some1 tat can really melts me. u always does anyway. but i seriously again. i feel the importance of u in my heart. Dam lots.

he look matured so so much.

tell me how not to addict by him?

P.S. Please Be Healthy Always. You're My Man

有你在身边爱我一点
是你让我的生命越来越甜
世界不停在变会爱你多一点
手里的纸杯连着一条线
请放在耳边听我的心愿
陪着你成长保护你安全
一天过一点宝贝你是一切

有你在身边爱我一点
是你让我的生命越来越甜
世界不停在变（世界都在变）会爱你多一点
世界不停在变会爱你多一点
希望你能够看见童话中幸福的乐园

太阳有阴晴月亮有圆缺
在我的眼里只有你完美
把手交给我撑出了一个圈
属于你我的温暖值得永远

一路上难免会跌跌撞撞
只要你记得那里才是家
受伤了别害怕我在这里给你力量

2009-06-17T08:29:00.000+08:00

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

" All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: " When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

2009-06-15T19:40:00.000+08:00

another 4 days plus to 19. Which is BF booking out day. Butterfly in my stomach keep running around whenever I think of it, make sleepless night for me.. Blogging thru fone sitting in living room watching hellboy. Actually wanna book transformer2 de.. But those days can't be cfm yet bcoz of bf army. :( Nvm lor. Shall discuss it later. Den wanna book for this saturday de.. But can't yet. Think muz wait afew more days to book.

Its monday!! 1 more day to birthday! Wee!

2009-06-13T09:47:00.003+08:00

[EDITED]

ppl around me. family. friends. knows me or do not know me. often telling me not to hold on to this relationship too tightly. or some even ask me not to put in hope. all kind of "not suppose to say" things all came out from their mouth. just bcoz he is a yr younger den me.

i dunno whether is it proven that guys are 2 yr younger den their actual age. and girl are much more matured. i dont think so. and doesnt means matured guy is trustworthy? i dare to say during back time. this guy is already 25. he done something really bad to me b4 when we r tgt for a yr plus. so nothing proves that older guys are much more matured?

its depend on their thinking, giving, understanding and such. yes i do have a pampered BF.

He is the only son of his family. and im sad to say that his dad is no longer by his side. that is why his family cherish him a lot. they give him the best of everything. that is why he is very pampered and arrogant at times. but which guy dont? even girls too. he is childish yes im strongly agrees. he is stubborn. i guess most of human are stubborn. during the start of the relationship is very hectic for me. i got to handle family things, job and even him.

but the problem is. he listens. even thou he dun really learn it right away. but he learns! he will ask me what have he done wrong and he will quiet himself down to think about it. so wat he is younger den me? he even work for me during weekend. he rather not going out with his friends, his family. just to work on sunday to pay off my bills. cmon at that time he is only 19. what more can i expect?

nowadays, youngster.. do u all often see them staying home helping out hse chores every weekend without complain? hold his mom hands, kiss his mom. going home for dinner often.

he is not mom's boy. but he will give up his love 1 for his family when there is a need. he did b4. and i understand it thou. and i can tell u. younger guys tends to be sweeter den older 1.

even thou i only get it during the start of relation. im contented thou. he will pack breakfast leaving it at my doorstep each morning b4 he goes to sch.

now? he will wake up early as b4 just to come over to my place for breakfast. he nv fails to reject my needs. what surprise me the most is tat he will rmb whatever i have told him b4 and such. besides people. he tends to forget their name n looks easily. hahas.

he have such nice nature i believe its from his family also. most importantly is that he wont hurt me. he will nv nv nv ever be rough on me. not even pinning towards de wall nor shout loudly at me outside. on fone is another case la.

he really matured a lot a lot. even if he is not in army. i always lose my confident against myself and bringing him anger. and make me loses trust on him. but for these days. he nv fail to build up those trust and time to time he will ensure me with love, actions n words.

i guess i wont say much already. those who often reads my blog. i would like to apologize. he isnt that bad as what i have blogged b4. those are angered words. he is a great guy.

P.S. JunWen You Are The Best.

__

its another 6 days for me to hold him again. but around 2 days i got to hang on again. i guess thats my life right now for de next following 2 yrs n counting.

my cousins got me an ear piece. =D its a great 1. and works great on my new mp3. but BF a birthday present also. and a seiko watch. HAHAS!

i started to miss my BF again. not in the mood to blog le. cha nah..

2009-06-11T21:29:00.003+08:00

Army life, i can say we partially kind of adapt to it already. for me, i started to tear little. not as much as de past few days. guess we are just too sticky. thats why it takes longer time to adapt. but right now. heard that his training its getting tougher. but i strongly believe that my boy is able to endure it true.

army basically also let our love get fonder. and made as matured. i starts to get much more independent. walking on streets alone. its not that bad thou. coz he always stays in me. my mind and heart. :)

i believe that i have said this many many times. but i just like to say it again. i really grew a lot in this relationship. thou time to time i get so childish that its so obvious that i me myself cant even take it. hahas. right at this moment. he is the only man i wanna spent my life with.
__

FINALLY! its Thursday! 1 more Thursday im able to see my BF! and as usual work today. after work i headed str8 to DG to MAC and get de cup for BF. i miss the previous 1. any1 has extra for de previous 1? can sell me or so?

living room tiles just being smashed. next monday or tuesday gonna put on new tiles. =D brand new living room. alright. i got to off to hand write diary for BF le. TATA

P.S - BF, its only like 6 days. i noe i haven been good. i skip meals. i didnt take care of myself well. i even drop my weigh down. which u dislike the most. my misses never ever cut down each day yet it grows. my regrets is never ending. i always re read my previous blog, ur blog and current blog. my heart aches so much. they always say wat.. live with no regrets and etc. but i do. i regret i nv cherish u well. actually i got to thanks to Army. without this, there is many things i didnt notice it. Example, ur care and dote towards me. nv fail making me smile. i finally get what u mean right now. how important is my smile to you.

I Love You JunWen
__

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

2009-06-09T10:15:00.002+08:00

Lets talk about my life right now. im getting myself rdy for another job hop. hop to a full time 1. i nid to leave de japan restaurant asap. i dislike the place. lots of internal conflicts and bias ppl working around. time have shorten. how can i earn like this? i nid savings!

on Sunday im able to pass cousin those stuff tat was suppose to pass to BF. BF was happy to be able get to taste chocolates again. coz i pack some for him and his favorite biscuits. yst night i cried on fone with him again. heard tat his training is getting tougher. my heart brks. he is still my precious. of coz i cant bear to let him suffer. words it is still words. how will i bear to see him suffer. but he told me. " baby, don't you want me to be matured? i am now. at least i grow a lil "

ur lil words brighten me up. but 2nd worries came onto me. will ur mindset changed? will ur ideal or wanting change?

"love or relationship is like fishing
you got to let the string to be loose at times and tight at times...
if not the string will cut..."

i got this words from BFF. i believe this words don't mark on me. bcoz i nv let him these freedom. i always doubt on him due to the past. actually its isnt his fault. its both of us. but that is like yr plus ago de issue. i dun wish to mention it anymore.

and today its our Monthsary. Barby! its our 1 yr 6 months being tgt! so fast another half month pass by le. and soon my 21st its coming. and BF is coming back. and thursday dad is gonna change my living room flooring. i mayb no home le!! LOL.. coz cannot step into de living room. BF offered me to his home to stay. but i rejected. coz i dun wan to alarm his family. its a small case.

looking up on my bed head and around my room. BF really spent alot of money on me, on those eeyore stuffy n etc. on 4June. he oso bought me another eeyore cushion. he even got me 200grams of chocolates from candy empire, 2 packet of super ex dairy milk. brought me to carls junior. and ichiban sushi for dinner. which all along i dont bother to queue bcoz of de long queue. but BF bring me there. and their chawan n soft shell really great. and yet i still quarrel with him during the night. yst he told me he rather spent those quarreling day with me den now. separated.

yst he called me. telling yst training was tough. some of his platoon CMI le. but he still can cope. I am proud of u Boy. i noe u r so tired and yet u still sing my heart song out to calm me down. useless me only noe how to cry. childish =.=

glad tat i have wrote u 14 days of letters. hope those motivates u. yst night he was so tired till when we put down our fone. normally he will send me a good night msg. but he didnt. as usual i will rush thru my sms to him 1st. coz worry he will off his fone str8 after he send me those sms. and i waited why there is no sms from him de. 5 mins later i try calling him. he off fone le. as usual, me this childish 1 cried. writing on de my diary saying. " i heard b4 tat true love could hear 1 an other even thou they are far apart " and next moment i received his sms. I SWEAR i didnt lie. this really happen to me yst.

u guys noe, b4 tat during our rocky time in our relationship. starting of love. we get so rocky. we quarrel very very worse each day. but we kept seeing miracle. some may say is coincidental. some may say is miracle. but i only believe in myself. as time goes by. this coincidental fade away le. and nw it came back. i really hope is upstairs knew tat. they heard us. *prays*

i may seems childish. i think different kind of ppl, different kind of expressions. so u all ready le, just put aside. no nid to comment. ty (:

ppl often warn me. to step aline. dun get too deep. if not die le oso dunno why. but when u did ur best. even if it fails. at least there is no regret right? im those kind. and tit for tat kind. i believe till now. he is worth for me doing tat. future wise. i let time leads our way. ((:
__

Saw a story and a blog entry from someone's blog. I wish to share.

" Cherish what u have, love who is with you, despite what time has taken away. For no matter how the person changed with time, she/he was the one u fell in love with in the very first place.
Details we forget actually are the details so valuable. why do we let flaws cover perfections? Never should we forget, when you love someone, we turn their greatest flaws into their greatest points. What makes one different, makes one beautiful. For when one takes, one should return willingly.

Commitment is not tiring but a act of love. "

Don't you think its just so true. there's another story to share with u all.
It's gonna be a long story. i believe those interested ones will read it. and its worth the read.

"Never Say Divorce"

1 NEVER SAY DIVORCE. When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Judy. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Judy so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table.. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Judy. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Judy about my wife’s divorce conditions.. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I

2 nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Judy about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Judy opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Judy, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Judy, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart. Judy seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

3 That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a really happy marriage!

2009-06-07T12:45:00.003+08:00

its raining. i wonder is he alright. everybody have been saying tat im useless. BF only going army. cry for wat. some even say i dun love him. only nids him. isnt bcoz i love him tats why i nid him? i miss his touch. i miss his voice. i miss his warm. during the night. i rather he not call. each time i hear his voice. i brk into tears. my heart aches alot when i noe he trying to be strong talking to me when he is going to brk out soon.

i only can hear his voice for less den 15 mins daily. i really worries tat his fone will low batt. coz everyday he nids to call me and his family. its only 2 days and a half. there is 12 days more to go. am i really tat useless ): i hope work can bring down my misses to him.

like he said. we share the same sky. im waiting for cousin to come over so i can pass BF de specs and fotos. i even wrote him 14 letters. i noe is noob. but i just wanna support him. i oso secretly pack some chocolates n oreo. i hope BF able to eat it.

May God Bless him always! I love u

2009-06-05T18:38:00.003+08:00

2June
woke up around 8 prepare myself and get to phoon huat to get ingredients to bake cake for BF. den rush home to meet BF for Sims3 event.

the dress code was in green. and we wore green ((: and we got their poster.

manage to get their limited t-shirt. but didnt manage to get their hairband. ): BF kept wanting to get it for me. but nid to participate in events. i dont wan him to rush thru those crowd and make himself perspire and pushed bcoz of tat. so i gave it a skip.
had soup spoon for lunch. and off str8 home to try my sims. try to persuade BF to go home for dinner and i lie to him going to mom place for facial. but actually im baking a cake for him. and i swear baking isnt easy n its not cheap at all! o well. its worthwhile afterall. ((:

planned up with all his friends. met at sembawang for supper at xing wang. i was there late. so his friend help me to place de cake at xing wang 1st. but BF felt fishy already. he knew we are up to something. HAHAS.

after supper-ing i n his friend wanna go get de cake de. but BF la! kept turning and look at us. but he did get de surprise la. coz he didnt noe i baked a cake for him. and he tot we was planning to make fun of him.

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BF always noe im snapping him. super thick skin la him..

den i started to say him! and he make fun of me.. see he SO happy!

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Sims3 Package

CowonS9

and u noe wat. so wat i got all this. wat i really want right now is him.
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BF got enlisted today. i crying like water tap. even till now. i still tears. luckily my cousin is a SGT inside. blur BF forget to bring de most important thing. his SPECS! so im gonna pass to my cousin and pass to BF inside. BF! u muz do ur best inside alright. and i will be a good girl as i once promised u. and i will do as wat u ask me to do. take many many pictures and show u. even thou i cant celebrate our 547 days being tgt n my 21st birthday with u. but u will always be beside me. i miss u BF. sry to let u see i cry tat badly today. i couldnt resist it. i love u..

2009-06-01T10:35:00.002+08:00

I can't believe that its actually another 4 days to go for BF army enlistment. What shud actually a GF do right now? Stand by his side and watch? Things all already packed properly. Hope nth goes wrong.
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tml its Sims3 day. im gonna early prepare to be at iluma right b4 2 of coz. im not gonna miss out de chance of grabbing de t-shirt ((:

P.S random

dad noes me too well. i cant hide. emotions filled within me. i dont bear to i dont bear to. its only 2 weeks hazel. whats rong with u? i cant believe it. im no longer as strong as in de pass. separate with u 3 days i already started crying on de 2nd day. issit we quarrel too much and make fun of each other SO SO much till im so use to being shout n yelled by u now n den. having good night sweet voices, songs, laughter, angry and etc..

feifei can sense tat im getting unhappy or emo when im listening to sad songs. he will look at me and tell me its gonna be alright. but still when i sees him. reminds me of u. *he looks too much like u dear*
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i shud stop emoing right now.. its time to prepare to leave hse le. Ciaos..

2009-05-29T11:32:00.003+08:00

WOW!! it have been a sinful week! ate SO SO much this week. and good news it my weight gone down to 46? LOL! was suppose to be 45kg de *YESH* but yst steamboat gains me a kg today. well. im happy thou!

and BF graduated from NYP yst. didnt went there coz i asked him to ask his mom to be there. when he wants me to be there to avoid clumsyness and etc. and i waited at home for him dam long. regretted didnt work yst! *faint*

so i met him around 7 plus at TPY and head to turf city to meet his friends there for steamboat. they do offered to ride us there. but BF and i still ok with taking de free bus. so didnt trouble them to fetch us. and as usual we always de early ones. so we went in to book place 1st.

de steamboat is known as ChongPang BBQ la. but i think its sux? but we did make it worth. coz we ate alot.. and those guys was sweet. they peel all de prawns and i mean ALL. so it have more buttery taste when we cook it. and BF did really ate alot. xD even thou i didnt notice him bcoz im busy with my hotdog n prawn xD. but those cook food sux. and only selective of things is nice. wat i much prefer was de free flow of drinks. ((:

ya i did blurred my foto. coz i look dam ugly in it. T_T

stay till nearly 11 plus. headed to Marina Barrage. my 1st time there. and i think de place is F great! good to pat tor! included u have car la. hahas.. we celebrated WM 22nd birthday there. and talk n luff alot..

Pardon me for those backview. coz its grass behind them. i dont wish to spoil it thou.

Birthday Girl(:

Barrage
P.S pardon me for those poor foto shots. 1st my skill isnt good. 2nd im not holding a good cam.

oso good la. so it will makes u guys despo to see how it really looks like there.. HAHA! its really dam nice during de night ((:

den we left after quite a long time of slacking. as usual still guessing de String Quiz. =.= ever since last yr genting trip with them guess till now still couldnt get it. DAM! anyone noes about it? its somehow like "this is a string" "this is not a string" "this is half a string" kind of quiz? DAM IT!! i will solve it SOON!

okok we left to jalan kayu for supper. actually wanna go L4D de. but YongHe nid to go home 1st coz he is working today. so only left 2 car for 13 ppl to squeeze. so end up didnt play. coz YuHeng got bike. so he able to fetch 1 more. so its settled. but no tonning of nights. i reached home around 3.30AM already. and b4 tat too much ghosy stuff. made me couldnt slp. and tired BF accompany me DOTA till my dad wake i den dare to slp xD but i bet im de earliest to be awake right now! but soon im going bak to nap. body alarm! DAM it =X..

and BF say next tuesday theres another supper gathering again. i guess my dark ring its getting serious and tummy too. T_T and food fair is here too! really _l_ la!! nvm got BF pei wo fei xD

OK! lets end with de FEIFEIs' foto ba!

and u noe wat?? BF claims tat he look SLIM in the abv pictures? WAT U THINK? LOL!! *cover mouth*

Another FEIFEI i adores.

2009-05-24T19:33:00.003+08:00

sorry lacking of updates. too busy with work/playing/bf and SHOPPING!! there is so much things im waiting for right now! its either i will get my Sims3 1st or my Cowon S9 mp3. mp3 u better come 1st. u r arriving late! and most importantly! my BF enlistment! =)

time really DAM DAM fast. its only 11+ days more for him. and i really hope tat this weather will start to change asap. dont so hot during my BF bmt period pls *prays* coz he sweat easily. and i kinda worry about him. *prays again*

but i noe he will certainly be alright. =)

P.S - anyone has Wizard of Oz show? can lent me? i dam wanna watch it!!

and shud i go for another re bonding? BF insisted me not too. as he likes my hair shapy looking right now. and im tempting korea BBQ. Awon!! WHEN WHEN WHEN MY DEAR? and this coming 28 im going for BF graduation. still scratching head shud i go or not. coz i will so dam alone la. and i feel tat he will be better without me.. so he wont only wanna accompany my loneliness and neglect his friends.

AHHHHHHHHH!! and PAY DAY IS TML!! *jumps around* going off soon to fetch cousin back to camp. CYA!

2009-05-20T09:44:00.004+08:00

You noe, i was twirling around Buddha Tooth Relic on sunday with dad. leading him up to de top where there is a very big wheel for us to turn.

as i walk, memories recalled of me and you. each round was just full of ur name and ur name. wishing u and blessing u to be good for ur army. every corner of SG there is our small lil footsteps everywhere. every part we have walked b4 even got into malaysia too. how can i not think about u when im outside or at home when ur foot prints remind me of everything? de good n happy times. de laughter we shared n gave. the jokes u offered me and crack my day. i often think tat using army to provoke u, to worry you its the only thing for u to be even much more better to me. im really stupid n bad enuff to treat u tat way. im sry BF.

even when i look at feifei, reminds me of u bringing me to AMK to get them a cage which dont cost cheap. holding onto de cage to Woodlands to get me those babies. helping me looking after them when i got freak out by them, tired of them.

looking up on my monitor, those lil eeyores n softtoys tat u have bought for me. turning around, eeyores everywhere which u have got for me. de big lovebi tat u caught for me during ur holiday trip. eeyore tat u surprise me for no reasons at all. flowers which are dried right now when u got for me during valentine's. vodka tat we have been drunk tgt, those emptied bottles. the hand wax tat we do tgt during our honeymoon holiday trip at genting. the image of u is full and filled in my room and environment.

i always think tat u leaving for army confinement 2 weeks its like 2 months without seeing u or so. its rather stupid. its ironic to say i am dam independent and strong without u. even off to public toilet, i oso wants you to be beside me. each time u offered to get food for me. i chose not to. even thou i wan to relay on u totally, everything. i noe how much u love me, loving me. i always took for granted and ask u for more. without hesitating without thinking, u listened to me change for me. makes urself to be perfect for me. and time to time i still wants u to get much more den perfect. how can i not love u.

ever since the start i knew i have not chosen the rong guy. even thou time being with u its only 1 yr plus. but i noe ur nature is kind. ur heart is pure. and loving u makes no rong.

Ty Boy..
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I find this quite true to me (:

4’s are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.

2009-05-16T09:38:00.002+08:00

MUAHH HHAHAHA!! just updated up wishlist! shud be New Year new wishlist. half yr gone le i den update xD!! NVM!! BF keep wanting me to put more ticks there. but he doesn't noe after tick, den it will change to untick! coz NEW ones xD..

yst swimming was cancel due to BF blurness!! he forgotten his driving its at 3.30PM instead he reach there at 10.30AM. and he nids to rush to sch for his graduation robe. so cancel lor. den i being at home too bored le. so accompany him to driving. but i was at hougang shopping around for an hour plus. till BF meet me after his driving. and he bring me to my cravings. Egg pudding with ginger. while he have his peanut paste. den off for dinner. O.o B4 going up to foodcourt. saw comics connection. so brought BF over to look at my Sims3 Preorder thing. and BF get for me str8 after he sees it. as a partially birthday present 1st. coz i didnt want a jacket yet. so he got me this 1st. Thanks BF. and now im count downing to June 2 instead of 5 le =X de collector edition was great man! WOO HOO..

after tat we went home le. coz too tired!! so took train to BoonKeng den walked home ((:
as usual he reached my house. DOTA!! coz he STINKS! CHOU BF! so i didnt allow him to lie on my bed! and he kept complaining to feifei.. bcoz i shift feifei2 to my room. coz he having serious itchyness on his body making his maomao dropping out. suspect is mites la. so i place him in my room. and throw him a toilet roll to play. and he is TOO fat to stuff into it. so he got stuck. and BF was LUFFING LIKE MAD. he stuck halfway la. couldnt get into nor come out. but he manage too la. its dam cute. xD
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its another day pass.. days getting nearer and nearer for my brother to fly back to china and BF to be inside camp. my rainbow and smiles gonna fade off soon. so wat i got watever i wan right now.

i just wan them. yucks.. ppl kept shaking head when i get down about BF getting inside camp. i love to stick with him wat. wats rong man. SHYT u guys/girls! _l_ SE

HUMPF~!

2009-05-10T16:05:00.002+08:00

HAPPY MAMA DAY!!
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can u just imagine wat i ate for lunch!?
-Yogurt
-Oreo
-Milk
-maggie
-biscuits
-chips
-anlene yogurt milk

CONTINUOUSLY!! OMG faint la pls. ppl dunno still tot i pregnant can! ok la. i came here was not to blog. but wanna blog out some song lyrics for BF!!
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Guess this means you’re sorry
You’re standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you’d never come back
But here you are again

Cuz we belong together now...yeah
Forever united here somehow...yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight
I know that I’ve got issues
But you’re pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I’m nothing without you

Cuz we belong together now...yeah
Forever united here somehow...yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you
Being with you is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go
Oh yeah
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this song so let me remember U sia BF!! SE _l_ ur face makes me so dysfunctional. always got this feeling of saying u SE!! LOL!!

CIRCULATE ARSE my BF!!

2009-05-09T10:38:00.003+08:00

Its our monthsary today my dear BF.. ((: couldnt celebrate with u. but its ok. its ur ojisan birthday.. ((: and tml its mother's day. still thinking whether shud i call her..

well see how time goes ba.. and my stupid da yi ma came to visit me yst. thanks to BF care. i able to survive thru de pain yst. xD and right now just came back from temple for praying and vegetarian food for breakfast.

time passes really fast. its just like last month i just been there. and now its another yr. BF.. im sure gona miss u..
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recently went to de new shopping at bugis.. de aircon was good. other den tat nth special already.. HAHAS!! expect tat they have a kinda big arcade and UFO machines. cheated me 2 dollars for catching Ben n Jerry ice cream tube. i noe it wont be tat easy de! HUMPF..

i really miss olden days!

and my tat BF.. ask him wan take picture anot.. he dam PS! LOL.. but end up..

he took it. and when there is no ppl le.. wat he do?

NEH! *bang head*

he is wan to play de lor! scare PS =.= DEAR SE _l_ =X
he is my handsome1 after-all.
and he kept nagging at me tat i feed him tat fat. DID I? *YUAN WANG* u can dun eat de lor fat pig.. i mouth itch den u always wanna join in de fun. den now blame me! and i wont grow fat again bcoz of u! coz u will MAKE FUN OF ME NON STOP! i know it! but i will TRY to be chubbier.. TRY only ah no promise ((:
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P.S i love my BF

2009-05-06T20:24:00.002+08:00

i think soon im just gona create a blog of my very own. as in i will lock it up and its only me myself noe de add..

really nid a place to blog our all my feeling towards everything. i really hope doreamon is beside me right now. so he can let me have a box and hide myself in it. a temporary lost of memories and such.. i dunno wat words am i flattering right now. every month of this time.. i really hope BF can be understand and gentle to me. but he wont. guys just wont understand tat girls r in pain or sad when they throw temper. but they will always think tat they r unreasonable n such.

Colours Of The Rainbow

2009-05-03T20:52:00.003+08:00

Life.. its just so so full of up and down. lots of happening recently.
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i always miss out blogging on de day itself. and i dam lazy to reblog and rethink about everything. unless there are fotos den i let de fotos do it say..
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why my life its so full of enduring and enduring. i just simply hate giving in. i miss being rebellious. not even my childhood. sometimes i feel tat humans dont have anything call "i have such a character" thing. coz it just dont link. reality its still de word of everything. i really hate myself time to time..
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Cheeky! purpose was to snap my hair HAHA!!

was at his hse. u all noe la.. guys are addicted to dota 1 -.- =X

was peeling egg during work. and this egg was so randomly tat i happened to peel it into this way..

Dad's dog. which is now in factory. i feel he dam poor thing lei. and he is dam CUTE. he is LUCKY! i think he suits mask more den lucky. look at his FACE! xD

JB trip with family (:

Kota Tinggi

its actually east coast of johor. and its incredibly nice.. de water was slightly dirty la. but its dam shiok. water is cooling. and u can swim in it!

look at those ppl

its cold and slippery. but dam fun!

Dad emo..

and dad force de guys to play paint ball shooting since cousin was a marksmen HAHA!!

and BF win de shoot. CLAP* so proud of him..

insisted him as a SWAT member =.= feel like puking =x

isnt it beautiful..

we went to "四弯岛" and there is many island name of it. 1 - 10 if im not rong. and we went to de 4th and 5th.. 4th was a temple and a herbs garden.. 5th was fruits and honey garden. family bought royal jelly for eating and applying for RM125.. its cheap. (:

what is dad doing? FISH SPA LA!!
and why i so AGITATED LEI?

coz its beaten by DAM BIG FISHES compare to SG ones.. and dad was luffing like mad at de start. LOL

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went JB shopping with BF..

love their starbucks. THICK and WORTH! we order Java Chip Frap large for RM16 only..

was dam hungry. and headed to a japanese restaurant for lunch. and was totally disappointed.

at 1st we step in. they place a egg mayo thingy sides on our table. so we tot it was for us and its free la.. den when ordering. BF ask me to get a sides. as i flip to de Sides on de menu. i saw something similar on my table which is de egg mayo.. and its RM5. so i suspect la. so i told BF not to order anything. and told him about it once de waitress leave. and we waited kinda long for de order to come..

after de ramen was serve. i feel abit con by my own order. i order a sake ramen. which is salmon la. but wat i saw was like minced salmon. dam minced la.. and BF 1 was ok. miso ramen and 5 pieces of fried chicken inside. BF keep asking me, if their ramen can win my work place how. of coz i will cut off my own "TOOT" la.. piang. its never possible. and im RIGHT! den i was again asking BF. "did u order de large 1?" he said no. he only noe theres 1 size. but there is 2 la. so i guess they gave him de large 1 without asking my BF. and end up. BILL!

everything tat i suspected b4 its REAL. the mayo was counted it. and de ramen its large 1. i was dam pissed off. but their service its good la. so forget it lor. since each of us only pay SG10 for de meal.

又咸又不好吃!!
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b4 gng back to SG.. we went to try de MR PAOZ.
we ordered de savory 1 1st. chicken n onion ham or watsoever la. i wanted de steam 1. but BF dun wan. but it taste like bread lor. only de flour was like pao, soft. stubborn me when to order another 1. which is de steam 1. with mutton curry. and its very NICE! HAHA!! BF la.. always dun believe me de.. T_T

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my left 1st ear hole abit infected T_T.. stupid earring.. and terrible big ulcer underneath my tongue.. but still able to be de usual me. SNACKS! bought a DAM big tin of jacobs HI-IRON biscuits for less den SG5!! its SO SO SO nice to eat. and have a egg tart n granny soup for dinner. nono its only half egg tart. BF ate up another half T_T..

he so bad right? he noes tat egg tart its only thing for my dinner. and he ate half of it T_T
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32 days more for BF. some of u muz think tat im dam bad. keep countdown for him. mayb im just a diff kind of girlfriend. i wan de best in him. i noe he dislike me being this way. and ever since he noes he is being enlisted. he is being better towards me. frankly la. i dun like it. its not he dont love me. its just he is still a pampered n have yet fully grown la. tats why he is like this. he treats his love 1s diff. he show and shower it differently oso. tats make me loving him endlessly without reasons.

he got no good points and bad points. coz my love for him couldnt be describe. even thou he tends to climb over my head often.

he is great. but he will be a greater man someday. (:

2009-04-27T21:29:00.002+08:00

i just didnt realize tat i have been verbally counting wrongly. its 39 days already. why i just kept thinking tat its a tough thing for me to pass thru when it is easily been done by any1?

i dun believe in betraying. i and i wont do tat to him. he is de only guy tat i have seen changes in myself. great changes.. i wont specify out. noe de most is still myself. no1 else. but im just worries when he is away. who is gonna share all my fears and happiness.. who am i gona call when im having terrible menses cramp in de middle of de night.. who will listen to my nonsense and rubbish everyday.

why only 2 weeks i look so terrible man..
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tank song is addictive.
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P.S Be strong!

How can i live without you

2009-04-25T20:58:00.002+08:00

months after months. my boy ought to be a man soon. and it falls on his birthday. which = he couldnt help me celebrate my big day.

couldnt really take it actually. its like only less den 1 month and a half for us to prepare. having him by my side nearly everyday 12hr and so. how could i possibly be use to it. there is so so much things i always do with him. and right now i got to learn to be alone. and i have this habit of eating only with him. if he isnt by my side. i wont bothers to eat something fulling and so on. loves him walking around town, shop n me and so. even thou its 2 weeks confinement only. if i cant take care of myself right now or even hold on de tears. im gonna make him worry during tat day. so i shall be a strong girl.

normally ppl do have 3 months or so notice. its really too sudden.. my BF ought to be a Real Man soon. (:
__

went out and walk de whole day. had soup spoon for lunch and fish soup for dinner. dun understand why my weight just couldnt decrease. hate it man. so so so stuck at 47 and so..

BF bought me a pair of CnK shoes for me to work. as my shoe always hurt me, a hairband and some earrings. and i really wants him to be by my side during 21st birthday.
__

i relay on u so much, so much till i can just cry for 3 days when u r not in SG. how can i be alone when u r away having tough times for 2 weeks. but im still happy enuff bcoz u r not in de late 2009 intake. BMT will be longer. *Prays* i hope those shit wont make u look worse instead it can make u grow stronger.

i will do and fulfill those promises i have made to u b4. and i hope u too.
__

40 days more to go. i dun wan..

2009-04-19T09:49:00.003+08:00

A lil imperfection.
__

Tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:
- Just a very normal Xiao Di friend i know online. Until i got to meet him, thinking that he is very open. but was dam cute thou. the deepest impression, i called him while he is on de way home. he offers to come over to my place to accompany as im deep down. when its an hour journey to my place when its already 9PM+

What’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?
- i think its nth bad about or so. just that i find him plucking out his own leg hair can be eerie at times.

What makes him/her happy?
- My smile and Games. he will nv fail to smile at this 2 moments.

What makes him/her sad?
- he dont get sad easily as he is a optimistic kind of person. unless things really start to get worse.

What makes him/her angry?
- Provoking from me.

What excites him/her?
- food and enjoyment

Tell us something funny about him/her
- he can still goes to bed and slp soundly even thou tml de sky is gonna fall.

What’s s/he like at home?
- can say he love his home alot alot. he love slacking around the house. have a fulling meal and just lay on de bed and slack. listening to his fav music. play his fav game. listening to his family voices in de living room. mom's dote. grandpa laughter and singing. sisters disturbing. most important his fan turning noises.

Describe his/her room
- a very simple 1. a normal double single bed with lots of pillows like mine. appears to be abit girly bcoz of my toys. beside his bed was those DIY cards i have made for him. a big table with computer and some notes on. some lil plushy beside his com due to his sis and me. and many lil drawers..

What’s his/her best friend like?
- a simple guy with simple mind.

Do you know who s/he hates the most?
- things that fastrutes him. including me at times.

Have you met his/her exes?
- nope

Do his/her parents like you?
- neutral i think.

What’s the first thing she/he would do or say if she/he fell down and scraped their knee:
- he will keep asking me am i alright. coz he is not a tense person.

What would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?
- he will be dam lost.

Which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?
- game shop. he wont look at clothes and shoe for too long.

What would s/he have for a typical breakfast?
- bread.

Where would s/he want to go for dinner?
- he is very tempting to got korea BBQ with me soon.

What kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?
- fighting kind. with guns and kung fu such.

Describe his/her taste in music:
- he loves classic love songs. those can make u slp kind? he enjoy so much. his face tells me all that.

If s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?
- family

What item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:
- i nv really explore his wardrobe actually. hahas. i wont do tat. he will noe what to do with them.

What is s/he good at?
- games, sweet talking to his love 1 and sleeping.

What is s/he totally horrible at?
- handling sudden situation.

What’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?
- his yelling at me.

What’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?
- hmm..

What’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?
- this relationship isnt a easy 1. and its worth grinding on.

Is s/he possessive?
- nope. its me more.

Why would s/he succeed in life?
- cause he do the very best for everything. and i will support him all the way.

What is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?
- love, care, dote.

What does s/he avoid at all costs?
- making me angry. but he tends to always make me angry in the end. LOL

What does s/he spend the most money on?
- me

Describe his/her typical sunday:
- his family day

Why would s/he be dangerous?
- he wont be.

What’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?
- his sacrifices for me.

What do you love most about him/her?
- everything. even when he is angry with me, he will still care for me. his gentleness.

The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your soulmate:
- cannot be too possessive, dont doubt the 1 you love.

*He is de 1st guy i am willing to do everything for. i cant say he is de 1 i loved the most, coz im still loving him. but he is de 1 that i am willing to sacrifice for more and continue loving him.

Everyone takes time to grow and learn things. who dont do rong things. humans arent perfect. Love is everything. everything of him.*
__

alone fighting in the dark.
__

bad morning. running abit of fever right now. doesnt wanna alert him. cough didnt gets better. and i really hate it more den anything. nose get so dry and hurts so much when i sneeze or gets wet.

cousin got my thermometer away. too weak to walk around. asmatha didnt gets better too. i only got 4 hrs of slp. i have been treating badly to myself..

i shall stay

2009-04-19T04:21:00.001+08:00

im staying at this very spot right now. its 4AM plus and i couldnt get to slp. isnt bcoz of cant slp. but it is bcoz of over heartache.

i just wanna stay on here..

unbreakable?

Sick

2009-04-17T23:00:00.001+08:00

sick for de 2nd day. bad bad bad ):
__

Love is patient and is kind,
Love does not envy,
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking

Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.

True Love never fails.
__

I love my BF

快快乐乐

2009-04-14T11:03:00.002+08:00

不要对我再说爱
我坦白一直忘不了原来
不要对我再说爱
我害怕我们再受到伤害
__

I really feels that time passes by so quickly. week after week. day after day. and im with BF for 16 months already. its short for others, long for some. but i definitely treasure every moment with him. 一路走来不容易啊。 up and down. fall and hurt. lots and lots..

and i have been working at this particular bias japan company for 1 yr plus too. ((: and i will still hold on till i really can find a pay higher den them. initially i oso wanna be a full time there. but i totally drop of this idea already! even thou i noe the pay its gona be high. but im gona head off to another environment soon or say asap?

and soon! im gona be 21st! super despo for dad to get me a iTouch or a new desktop. as BF kept saying and reminding. i just couldn't stop myself for turning 21 soon! as i can really see my sense of clothing changing. or have changed!
镜子里的我很不像我
__

Recently having a lot of stones dropping on my head. angel and devil each beside my ear telling me what to do, what to head too. that often brings me to tears suddenly.
装出冷静的样子, 不哭泣

but i just cried out to BF yst on de way home. BF was supposed to drop off at newton mrt. but he insisted to bring me home.

BF will always asked me to hold on. BF this song is for You..
i will always remember your voice that sings me "Guardian Angel" wiping off my tears.

So many nights,
I'd sit by my window,
Waiting for someone to sing me his song.

So many dreams,
I kept deep inside me,
Alone in the dark,
but now you've come along.

And you light up my life,
You give me hope, to carry on.
You light up my days and fill my nights with song.

Rollin' at sea,
Adrift on the waters
Could it be finally,
I'm turning for home.
Finally a chance to say Hey, I Love You
Never again to be all alone.

Cause you light up my life,
Cause you, you light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
It can't be wrong,
When it feels so right
Cause you,
you light up my life
__

2009-04-12T16:41:00.002+08:00

came across a stranger's blog. happen to see what the person blogs.

" Girls - Worry about what others may think of them .
Cares more about their love ones rather then themself .
Likes to envy other girls .
Gossips more then guys .
More or less more vain then guys .
Always try to get what they want .
Kinder heart .
Always too shy to say or do things infront of guys .
Nags alot .

Guys - Girls .
Money .
Sex ."

well, we are more den what u guys think i bet so. or trying to say tat.. are we complicating? and guys are much more simple as it? hahas xD
__

"Arguments are always the cause of break ups?
Arguments are also always the cause of couples getting closer?

Well , if the one gives way to the other maybe it will lead to the 2nd line .
If no one wants to give way then the 1st line will most proberly happen ."

=)

我找爱，爱找我。

2009-04-12T11:38:00.002+08:00

哇！好久没blog了哦！今天又一个人看家了。家人都出去了。还下这雨，早餐吃得好饱。不敢趟下。哈哈！
__

when vivo sometime ago with BF

__

Yst went vivo with family too and BF! =)

DIDI!!
__

I and BF simply love the ambiance at esplande.

__

BF.. I love You.

2009-04-05T20:18:00.002+08:00

http://killer-prince.blogspot.com/

i miss u so much
__

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do
Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years
I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more
Through the years, through all the good and bad
I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years
Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you ... Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what love's about, by loving you
Through the years
Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

我还有幸福吗？

2009-04-05T17:41:00.002+08:00

只是经过了两天，我的心情没好过。
————
今天去拜了主仙。下了场好大的雨。等了好久雨才停。爸爸停车停的好远哦。好才不用走。爸走去驾了过来。吃了好多哦。抱死了，真讨厌。

晚餐又是吃肉。腻死了。。不过我又吃了很多。大概是“大夷妈”要来了吧。唯口变的好大。
————
说说爱情，真让我很疲劳。这也不是，那也不是。想哭也不可以。不哭却又闷在心理好难受哦！想想我和他走过的路，有喜怒哀乐。但事情重没好过。可怪谁呢？月老吗？还是我自己没把女朋友本分做好？我都知道爱情不如你所愿。我只希望可以得到真爱。快乐是永远短站的。

有时我对自己说，佩珊啊，你不可以事事都要完美。是不会实现的。但有时，人都会贪心。尤其是对你心爱的人。你重会要他对你像天使般的呵护。唱你喜欢听得歌，办小丑哄你开心。但我们冲没想过。我们也得对他们象天使。男人差不多都是一个样。你对他们太好，我们就当作设么事情都是ok的。

或者说天踏了都没关系，肚子还是得舔抱呀。我们呀，做事情给他们都是应该的。他们呀做事给我们是值不值得的。我们的伟大是必要的。我们哄他，是占时的快乐。也术到晚上吧。他们对我们的好，是永远，好难得的甜蜜。

为何我重要接受你说的活呢？重开始到现在，你还不懂谁才是真正爱你的人吗？你失去过，但她回来了。你又想在失去吗？
————

i have never ever give you up before as what i've ever told u over and over again. i hold u up when u r down. i cheer u up when u r moody. i looks at you when u wanna vent ur anger. i wait for u when u r busy. i stand by u when u wanna be alone. i look after u when u r sick. i cook for u when u r hungry. i wipe ur sweat when u starts to sweat. i always nv fail to guide u when u r lost. i stay over night with u just to wait for ur results. i accompanied u even thou im very tired after work during de night. i brush ur hair, i wipe ur tears. dig ur ears. i even forgive you when u have done something seriously wrong. im already more den a gf, mom, granny to u. what more you want me to do, to just to love me more?

Silent

2009-04-04T12:36:00.002+08:00

its "Qing Ming Jie". time to pray to our ancestors. which is mine is tml at 11AM. its seems like we just done it recently. 1 blink its a yr already.
__

watched "Departure" an award winning Japanese flim. its dam nice. i rate it at 8.5/10 its abit draggy thou. but it is really very nice. worth de watch and worth de price (:

and i just learned to play L4D at riders lan. was dam HIGH. and im tempting it again and again. guess i got wait for a lil while more time to have this temptation. (:

recently work was dam screwed up. too tired to explain about it. but certainly i will try to hang on. thou de ppl there and work loads sux.
__

have been kinda rocky with BF 1 "past" day. but everything got fine later on. things will get better ya BF ((:

and my problems with family is solved too. thx to grandpa i think (:

just really hope to get smoother each day. neutral ba (:

I just want to say

2009-04-02T18:27:00.001+08:00

this song is just so into my mind right now.
__

If you don\'t know me by now
You will never, never, never know me

All the things that we\'ve been through
You should understand me
Like I understand you
Now girl I know the difference
Between right and wrong
I ain\'t gonna do nothin\'
To bring out our happy home
Oh, don\'t get so excited
When I come home a little late at night
Cause we only act like children
When we argue, fuss and fight
If you don\'t know me by now
if you don\'t know me
You will never, never, never know me
No you won\'t

If you don\'t know me by now
You will never, never, never know me

We all got our own funny moods
I\'ve got mine
Woman you got yours too
Now just trust in me
Like I trust in you
As long as we\'ve been together
That should be so easy to do
Just get yourself together
Or we might as well say good-bye
What good is a love affair
When you can\'t see eye-to-eye oh.....
If you don\'t know me by now
if you don\'t know me
You will never, never, never know me
no you won\'t

If you don\'t know me by now
if you don\'t know me
You~ will never, never, never know me

If you don\'t know me by now
You will never, never, never know me
__

its isnt easy to maintain a relationship even thou both of u are deeply in love.

Im trying

2009-03-29T10:01:00.001+08:00

想想我们这一路走过来
冲突多过了愉快
愉快多过对爱坦白

Recently

2009-03-28T09:51:00.002+08:00

recently BF have been treating me super weirdly. no idea wat happen. extremely good. dunno issit done something bad behind my back! or mayb he is right. timing problem xD! coz he have been picking up car lessons. and is kinda early in de morning. he will start smsing me saying how much he misses me and my stupid face kept appearing in his mind make him cant concentrate driving de car!! >=[[
__

recently have been working. sakae sushi on Thursday dam shiok is de word. =) on de same day we say JJ lin and Jun Yang shopping at funan it mall. was too sudden so didnt get any photos or signature.

let me recall how much we ate at de buffet.. i shud name all on plates
- 4 gyoza
- 3 soba
- 2 fried maki
- 2 tuna
- 3 salmon
- 2 salmon mayo
- 1 baby oct
- 1 fried salmon skin
- 1 salmon mayo tofu skin
- 1 cold salmon
- 1 tako yaki
- 2 chawan
- 2 normal sushi
- 1 prawn

so is roughly 28 sushi rice. LOL !!

BF with Soba

finding things to order even since we r dam full already..

kichigai ! *dumb*

his fav habit! dunno is somehow like pressing de hair or adjusting de hair or dunno wat. i only noe is dam gay

MOCHI!! asking for more. but cant ):

we was luffing through out after meal. no idea wat we luff at already. but i noe is dam happy tat day. LOL

anyway we still ate dinner for de day =X
__

i do have some outdated genting fotos in BF hp. which is we on de roller coaster ride. (:
__

BF SMILE PLS!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

SMILE BIGGER LA! SHOW TEETH!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(: thats better..

BF's art of photo capturing. who noes what is tat?

sudden snap..
__

Last saturday at vivo. BF eating look dam unglam..
__

BOYFRIEND!!! I love You (:

亲爱的你是否跟我一样清醒
闭上眼睛玩一种数绵羊的游戏
一二三四五
羊变成星星
变成一个个你
好想说一句我爱你
我想你啊......
就在这个夜里

在相遇之前孤单如影随形
爱情的记忆很远心空空的
因为你季节慢慢苏醒
连寒冬都变美丽
在相遇之后笑看季节更替
爱情的印记很深心满满的
给自己一段长长回忆
不顾一切去爱你

在我们相遇之后
就已决定爱你

在眼神相遇瞬间
我爱上你

Hold on

2009-03-22T17:33:00.002+08:00

have u guys ever felt that u r de only 1 living all by urself only, even though there is ppl around u? im so into this kind of world right now.

ppl can only listen and give advice to me. in the end, the 1 facing and feeling its only me. well, to be frank. no 1 could just let me lean on right now. not even my BF. they have their own problems to settle to care about. who bothers to put an extra space just for u?

sometimes i just got to be selfish to myself i guess. that will certainly be better off for me. when i got to think of them each time when me myself already got hurt seriously.

typically i think this isnt a very good month for me thou. de greatest fall to me isnt that i didnt strike a 4D or being back stabbed by a fren. is family isnt caring for u anymore. or shud i say, they totally thinks that u r not there at all. when some1 u r facing with for 20 yrs+ and right nw he is totally ignoring u. its worse den BF hanging up my fone calls? have been 2 weeks.

i noe i isnt this kind of giving up easily girl. but i just doesnt noe hw to face it right nw? picking back a conversation is hard. speaking out of heart towards a cold blooded human its even harder.

friends asked me to speak out to him even if he dont bothers to listen or give a dam, at least i done my part. ya right. speaking of this.. who nv think of it b4? its whether i can or cant do it. the situation its like this right nw. just a lil 3room flat. living 4 kind of ppl. totally diff thinking ppl. i couldnt specify out clearly. but those who noes me well. u all shud noe.

alright its clearly tat i have been left out. so is 3vs1. i count my brother out so is 2 adults vs 1 lady. they have been being so close to each other or can say extremely lovely as b4 infront of me? or am i being just too sensitive? just few footsteps away they r happily dining their dinner in de living room and im living myself in a small room divided by a door only.

true speaking, i couldnt share as much as to my BF coz his family is so into him. he doesnt really noes how is it feel. he can only hear me cry, whine and so on. he wants me to speak it out to him. me myself noes it clearly tat i shouldnt do that. for days it mayb not a burden. but for weeks things started changing. i noe some where out there, there sure be a something/someone for me to lean on.

time to time i even wanted to give up my relationship to let my BF feels better. he always ask me why i always say such stuff to him spoiling his mood so on and etc..
__

i try saying it out. things to me is like this. sometimes being a human or lady.. i cannot be too much. i can read ur mind. i can read ur body language and can even tells it clearly whether u wanna hear it or dont.

in my shoe, i feel like speaking to a person. i still nid to see their mood and "right time" in other to let my feeling out. its dam difficult for me. who does not prefer a ear only? i mean i just wanna see ur serious-ness in hearing me out.

once i speaks de rong time to my boy. we end up quarreling. being a lady. i think its abit too much for me to carry on this way. but he doesnt seems to understand my view. being bothering a person too long and too much. its not good at all. i wanted to keep everything to myself. but i cant do it. coz im not those dont bother kind.

u noe.. being love and loving some1. its just so so diff. and so hard..

compromising in this love? i guess not. .

mayb i shud start to stand up on my own soon.

Halo

2009-03-15T10:26:00.005+08:00

O_O! i have been cold war with my dad/family for 3 days. i guess this is de 1st time we have been cold war for sucha long time. ~_~
__

BF n I strike 4D!! we strike a small amount. which is our genting hotel room number. i when to iBet it. and luckily i buy it. if not 1 cent oso BO ah! and BF reward me by topping up my farecard. >.< and 1 packet of WangWang. LOL!!

this few days "Aunty" came to visit me. and i have been eating nonstop. when i say non stop means, once i open my eye! brush my teeth. i start to eat till i slp during de night =.= and i definitely gona gain weight after this period plus genting trip. im gaining weight already! de 1st day i weigh myself in genting was 46.5, i bet nw i shud be shooting near 49 already! and BF was so high about it =.=..
__

right nw im having a super sux feeling. words couldnt describe. i guess only those girls who have experience it noe hw i feel right nw. day by day ur BF is getting nearer to enlistment date. luckily my BF havent receive his army letter yet.

i just nid him too much. de hug n warm only HE able to give me. (:

suddenly my mind flash past something.
" that time i was cooking mee for BF n me for lunch and bf was playing with my hammy. he kept taking my hammy to disturb me. kept using it to tickle my leg. and i kept scolding him and he was luffing like mad. "

so sweet when i think of it. but at de moment i was dam mad la! i was cooking lei. and u kept poking me with my hammy. and he even place it above my pot and ask me to cook it! LOL DAM FUNNY.

and i really miss de time he sings to me.

nw ask him sing machiam ask him to die. ask him sing properly, dunno come out wat stun. sing dunno wat shyt and make fun of me =.=. and yst when i hug him. he say i "CHU PATTERN" can u imagine u r hugging ur bf. and he say u CHU PATTERN! means doing stun on him =.= but end up he turns and hug me back. LOL so ok la. forgive him (:
__

even though time n time days are really disaster. we r just so near to give up. nearly everyday we r quarreling. but i really see tat wat love is when im with u. continue to show me de love we have build and still building.

BF!!! YOU'RE THE BEST! *thumb up*

refused

2009-03-11T21:48:00.003+08:00

can i have a life instructions booklet on my 21st birthday as present?
__

比想象中更痛你真的没回头
我命令眼泪不许失控
回忆不跟你走都挤在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重

what if 1 day. you said something out from ur mouth that wasnt meant to say. or done something u wasnt meant to do. and that very min u loses some1 truely important to you, was even part of ur life?

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
当爱情左盼右顾的时候

humans tend to think alot when they r down. but have u tried to think of the good points at the moment?

我眼泪都笑了谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着找回光和热
面对你的时候我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客因为路有些曲折
是美的

i use to cry to a moment of time i start to smile. coz when u really fall in love with someone. even if de moment they made u angry and sad. de sweetness and love from them will still in ur mind. and love is stronger den everything. he often makes me sad, hurt and angry. after the period of time. i will start to miss him. miss the time he kisses me, hugging me loving me. bcoz love is blind.

心碎成了沙漠就快开凿绿洲
我没有时间不知所措
你温柔的双手本就不属于我
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢

we both are still very young. u and i noes it clearly that it is kinda hard to last till the end. coz mindset changes. but u often said to me b4. who cares about the future. this very moment u only wants to be with me.

你眼泪都笑了谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾因为我已爱过你
深深的

i love you my Dear.
__

totally have no link with the song. just trying to say out some feelings of it. using songs to bring out feeling.

and my eyes is super swallon right nw.

Genting Fever

2009-03-11T09:44:00.002+08:00

some outdated fotos 1st den about genting.

my manicured nails. long nails really sux i shud say.

work mates

grandpa birthday =D

2nd March BBQ =D not much fotos captured during chalet
__

Alright! im back from genting and i super miss de place right nw! the weather de games. but 1 thing i dun miss is de FOOD. every where is expensive as usual. all de food u see is either not worth or over price.

3 scenario, 1st time went with family to de prata store. just prata itself we ate nearly 100+RM with only 7 kosong and few curries. 2nd, went with 1 bunch of frens. had kenny rogers, rong orders all de way. till de end BILL oso rong. they less charge 1 meal from us.

3rd, which is our 1st day of genting. BF tempt kenny rogers again. so we went to try it again. we ordered half chicken, extra muffin and 2 float. end up it came we only 1/4 chicken. so we ask them to change. and de food was bad. just not so good as previous 1 and to SG definitely. reluctant face walking to de counter and pay. happy face came out of de store. u noe why! coz they BILL rongly again! they only charged us as quarter meal and two floats. my muffin was free. my another half chicken and 1 side is oso free! =.=

8/3/09 - 1st day

woke up at 5am to prepare myself and check all my stuff. dad fetch me to golden mile at 6am. meet up with bf there and we queue to get our bus number. we waited for roughly 15mins den bus came. we got de 1st sit right behide de driver. was 50% happy 50% worry. LOL.. 1st to go 1st to die too xD..

alright we set of around 7am to checkpoint.

in the meantime, FOTOS!!

we was DAM hungry coz we dont dare to take breakfast. worry will stomach ache and wanna poot poot.

Driver sit

MALAYSIA!!

and around 10 we got to de so call coffee shop to have our breakfast. once we got down, we chiong to buy food instead of toilet. LOL we had ramley burger - 6RM chicken nuggets, fried chicken thigh, wedges - RM11.50 and my fav yogurt - 2.20RM =D half finish den we go toilet. SO FUNNY LA. so we set off around 10.40AM to genting. and u noe wat. around 12plus our bus breakdown =.= i was dam SUPER PISS. + i hate de fcuking driver. i just dislike him la. he nv do anything bad anyway =.= ya so. we got to wait for other passes by bus to fetch us IF they have enuff sits. so we waited for awhile and a bus came. i didnt wait for anything i just chiong up my bus and pull my luggage of and pass it to BF already. luckily it have 5 extra sits. and so we got it. =D was quite bad actually. haha.

but the driver didnt say muz queue wat. just like 1st come 1st serve lor. plus we sit right infront. so~ LOL

and so bcoz of this we reach genting at 2.45PM. went to take our check in number and nid to wait for roughly 1 hr plus. so we go for lunch 1st. we got into marry brown. we ordered only 1 main bcoz we isnt tat hungry yet. and de meal is call "lucky plate" we dunno is consider lucky or unlucky. the chicken isnt wat we expect? and de coleslaw is dam PUKE? and de chicken is so dam dry. but at least we noe its a real chicken coz there's still HAIR on it. =.=

after tat we head to money changer coz i didnt want to change it in sg bcoz of de low rates. end up.. its still low =.=

and BF say its nearly our turn already so we faster walk back there and see de queue. its like still have 100 plus den our turn la =.= its 3.30PM by den. so we went back to shop. head back there at 4PM and left like 40 plus turn so we waited outside and take pictures.

de haunted house entrance, with a real human disguise sitting up on de entrance way.

WE LOVE DE WEATHER LA!!

and 1 more thing i love about genting. there have LOTS n LOTS of CUTE BABYS!!!!

so! we got into our hotel room around 4 plus to 5. we rest awhile, changed den out to shop already. 1st stop! F.O.S we spent 140RM there. WOO total of 5 shirts. den we walk around and went to arcade.

played some funfair kind of games and won a Genting souvenir cup and some points. and found this "feeding ball to clown" machine. its easy to play and easy to win. genting arcade everyone is playing for de sake of those tickets to exchange prices. lots and lots of prices. big medium small bears, cup, towels, waterbottle and so on.

in de end we won 574 points on de 2nd day and exchange a mug which BF wanted long ago for 500 points. de rest of de points its only enuff to exchange for a rubber =.=

very fast 1st night gone. we slept at 2 am plus and b4 tat we drank liang teh which can find in SG too. =D its cheap there anyway.
__

8/3/09 - 2nd Day

we woke up at 8am plus for breakfast. had KFC for breakfast. and de nasilemak chilli was UNFORGETTABLE~ den head of to outdoor theme park.

i dunno why BF wanna pose so stiff.

anyway i regretted to get into theme park den off down to KL. coz we wasted 120RM just on catching bears. coz previously BF won 3 bear there included de my lovebi. was out of luck i guess. well. at least BF got me off some of my phobia. ROLLER COASTER!!!

i scream hell lots. and even my face turn green twice. and i miss de ride right nw =.=

it got misty later on so, coaster stop. so we got into boat riding

actually hor~ i wanna play water bumper boat de lei.. BUT we didnt get to play bcoz.. weight limit 75kg =x SO no nid to say liao hor.. =X

forced BF to sit merry go round with me =D

he was shy actually. coz its abit gay la. but he still pose for me =D sweet lil him.

guess where r we?

BLAHS!!!

WE R ON!!! FLYER!!!

mini flyer =x

it got so misty till our hair are all wet!
so we get out of de place for lunch 1st den get back later till de mist r gone.

AND BCOZ OF THOSE BEARS. we over our budget!

our room lobby =D we are staying at 18 story.

we got so bored so we went to!!!

TADAH~~

cable car!!

i ask BF to show me his "very full" face. this is wat he gave.

and so he ask me to pose my ugliest pic.

xD

end up. we went back to de theme park for a few dragon coaster rides den we head for dinner le. coz other rides r full of ppl already.

and dragon coast was fun. ppl shout when it dont have to shout. just bcoz we will go into de mall and out of de mall. attention seek la. and so funny tat is was shout pass de KFC restaurant. just imagine u r biting on a chicken and ppl suddenly SCREAM past u. LOL

we had simple dinner for de night =D
__

__

hotel room

stupid head
__

10/3/09 - back to sg

lobby scenery.
__

ByeBye Genting
i miss u

My view

2009-03-04T22:21:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Chalet

2009-03-03T17:30:00.002+08:00

Hehe.. 1st time using my hp to blog.. Right nw I'm at chalet having bbq tonight. manicure nails making me dam hard to type with my fone.. So tired right nw.. Didn't Slp much yst.. Coz early morning went to send bf fren off to to taiwan.

Alright off to help out on bbq stuff le.. Tata!

Miss Money

2009-03-01T09:41:00.003+08:00

busy schedule next week. 2,3,3 chalet. 8,9,10 having genting trip. happy tat im able to celebrate our Monthsary over there :D certainly better den SG. coz i wanna catch those bear over there :D

alright im going to attend a family funeral right nw. tata~

Great love

2009-02-28T08:03:00.003+08:00

suddenly just wanna blog about my BF.
__

alot ppl very shock tat he's a yr younger den me. alot of ppl oso say tat we wont last. thinking, family, topic and friends are like diff kind of world.
is indeed he is very diff from all of my other BF.

coz he is de only 1 who promised me something and will try his very best to change. which me myself knew it very well tat guys promises dont fulfill. he didnt make it come true. but he bothers to sparkle it. not like other guys once said and next moment forgets it.

time and time i think tat he is like a burden to me. after so many yrs, i still got to teach him how to treats n love ur own gf. i always feel tat im a guinea pig to him. watever i taught him, wants it. i exchange with tears and ache. sometimes i only get it for a few mins and i still willing to do so.

im sry BF but i feel like saying out. time to time he gave me diff kind of surprises. besides presents. he done things making me super heartache. till i can just cry it out without tears. past me i would just flare without asking qns. and he will just let me scold till he flare den he will mumble back to me afew sentence. he noes he is at fault. which guy will just sit there let u nag n scold at? even they r at fault they would just keep quiet right?

and foolish me always treat him as if he isnt a guy. i always scold him. i always say how foolish is he, how stupid is he. and believe me. he didnt scold nor talkback to me. unless im over do it. i always have this kind of bad habit. scold ppl without giving face.

he have nv hurt me with his hands b4. coz im very small size compare to him. a lil strength will hurt me. he often treat me with care. if he hurt me a lil when he wanna avoid me from danger. i squirt a lil he will str8 pads me. he's just so sweet tat i dunno hw to express out. i can only cry. and im tearing a lil right nw.

and so, we manage to walk till nw. its isnt easy. there's plenty of chances for both of us to leave each other n nv turn bak. but we didnt..

and to wat i noe.. which guy will msg u telling u. dont give up. hold on to me. thx for all de sacrifices u have done. among all i noe. non of them will do it. but he did. not even i've done this to him. without fail fetching me off work. even when he is studying. he will look for those classes tat can avoid to fetch me off work. whenever he got his pocket money, he sure bring it all out for me. get me things tat i have wanted it long ago. bring me for food. good food those kind. make sure im fine and full.

and i still suspect his love for me. ya they always say is only starting will so sweet la and so on.

ever since de start he has nv fail to fetch me off work till nw. he gave me valid reasons if he cant fetch me. even when he is dead tired or exams.

touches me de most is tat he will cry with me. when im in pain and sad. he didnt show it on his face. but i noe he is dead pain. the way he hug me, pads me. look at me. i noes everything.

and he is de only guy tat looks at me with love. his eyes always tell me im at ease. i will be safe. it will be alright and GF i love u.

im crying kinda bad nw. reflecting back to those road we've walked. im just so bad. forgive me BF.

Bf, i hope u will forgive me for those past memories and words i've done n said. u do noe how much i love u. u do noe how much i wants to be with u. thou times i said we wouldnt last. but u noe i want u so much. theres much more path to walkon. are u willing to hold on to me till whenever u can?

__

虽然是简单的形容
虽然是重复的动作
因为有你
让一切都变成不平凡

好想缝合你我手心
就这样牵住放不开
有你陪伴
呼吸着有你的空气
就是幸福

Ti amo Te Quiero
每一天都要爱上你
想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒
第一个想到又是你

Sa la he And I Love You
我每天都要爱上你
少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴
怎样都不算蹉跎

Cry Baby

2009-02-24T12:12:00.002+08:00

sorry have been MIA for so many days. was in critical condition. too busy with schedule n stuff.

i think i still nid sometime to come back here. :)

Valentine' Day

2009-02-15T11:15:00.002+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! ok im a day late! coz im busy YST! =))
__

14/2/2009

this is me and BF 2nd yr of valentine's day! as wat he says. i didnt change after a yr! still so CHUBBY! but he changed! GOT FATTER! WAH HA!!

BF arrived my hse around noon and surprise me with flowers! =D coz previous day he asked me to chose between the wallet tat i like or flowers? of coz WALLET la!! but end up he got me BOTH!! SEE!! how sweet is he! *faint*

HERE! this is de PUMA wallet he got for me in wallet inc. coz i needed a wallet. and this caught my eye while we r going toilet in JP. so i told him i wanna go bak to take another look and ask for de price.

and so i guess it cost about $80 and he guess is around 50 or less. well, i think too highly of it coz its only 39.90 with 10% discount! and BF get for me on de spot. THANKS BF!!

and b4 tat, on that day when im off to flyer. BF came to fetch me home after it. coz he is having exams that whole week. which left both of us kinda terrible memory la. dont wish to mention anymore since its over.

ya and he came to fetch me. and got me another surprise!! an anklet which i love it very much!

still remembering those words he said to me b4. LOL "spoil ah? repair can le lor" xD but here it is. he got me a new 1 =D

TELL ME!? how not to be contented??!!!

alright this is de V day card from him to me. this card reminds me of another JOKE!! xD. * PS dear pls dont take it to heart k! i dun mean it de =X *

this is my unfinished work. i draw 5 times and didnt really work out! CRIES.

AS USUAL! D.I.Y card for AH DEAR!!
__

DEN!! we off to paragon for SOUP SPOON! *HUG DEAR* he really BANZAI! tell me tell me! where to find such a good BF. =X

den we walked to PS for Benjamin Button. i think it was a nice n worthy show. i kinda love de story line. find it abit meaningful if buttons and daisy wasnt so despo for sex thou =.= but its worth it la. xD

DEN! we off to clark quay thinking of settling it at HOOTERS* [ BF pulled me there just to see TIONK TIONK BUTT, HUMPF. AND HE SAYS MINE SHAGGY ALREADY!! ] and so we DID! queue isnt long. food was tasty! we ordered de promotion 1. Clayfish, salmon and pasta as main, Clam Chowder, curly fries and two glass of tiger xD! its around $70. de main was nice. and its filling due to de fries =.=

MR BF! coz he is not feeling well. tats why look so shag. *pads guess those butt didnt light him up! =X

I DONT UNDERSTAND? why muz BF pose for de clam chowder? hmm

helping tiger to promote. BF foto skills SUX la!

=DD

now im waiting for FAT BF to finish his PET's cleanup den off to IKEA!!

Try to

2009-02-11T14:41:00.002+08:00

im trying so hard to adapt to this family again. why time and time again u guys kept stabbing me. why in this world ppl just love to stab each other no matter how close r they. friends do, lovers do, enemies do and even family members.

talking about money issue. there's sure be quarrels and even breakup. including Family. few days ago i quarrel with dad about money. last week, last month, last yr and even yst.

alright put money issue aside. talking about quarrels. is it really in such world there is ppl loves to quarrel and hits ppl? i think there do? tats my dad again. imagine u coming home happily with some toys on hand which u caught tat day? and he say " why u bring these rubbish bak again, tat time just throw so many away and nw u bring bak again, make till ur whole Fucking Room so messy " is this meant for our own good? wats rong with GIRL's room filled with toys? and 1 more thing. its only those small lil ones. wat is de fuck rong?

and why muz i always be de understanding one to this family? is indeed im force to be grown up. bcoz ever since im born out i listen to u, these adults complaining to me about this no good and tat no good. and i got to force myself to understand all de situation. i put myself into u adults shoe but did u all put it in mine? when im just reach my 20s u expect me this n tat wat about others? u didnt even wanna hear my complains and u just turn me down with a word FUCK?

when ever im in a bad mood u tell everyone around me tat, "aiya tats her fucking character, fuck care her". is ur mouth only full of fuck? when ur wife isnt around. im just like a substitute to u. den i force myself to turn down all meetings just to meet u. whenever i got my money, pay or haf extra income i think for this family. and u just shout at me saying im dragging this family? u even tell me tat u wanna take room rental fee from me infront of everyone? when i am de 1 who accompany u thru this 20 yrs route. u urself think is dam hard to watch me and feed me up. but have u think about me too dad?

Bad Feeling

2009-02-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

2nd day not feeling well. dam irritating. throats didnt get well and yet added cough with it. stupid package. so worry tat my asthma will come n attack me. guess its slightly there already. and inhaler finishing =.=
__

just now ate Yu Sheng and gamble with family. lose alot. luck isnt by my side this few days. Bad omen.

i shud really stay off alot of things recently.
__

going flyer tml with lilian and her 2 guy friends. coz she have tickets for it. and she invited me. so sweet of her =D

and 3 days nv meet BF le, due to his final yr exams.
BF jiayous for ur exams.
__

im so dead beat unfeeling well. T_T

Just wants to be a child

2009-02-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

u noe the biggest problem im facing right nw is?

Problems with a S.
happiness dont last. not even for a day. mayb an hr or so? it just will soon be over. actually so do babies. they can be giggling at this min and next they are crying for milk or diappys change.

somehow emotions getting so into my life right now. ever since i noe my BF. emotional is de only key word in me already.

since im born to be a girl. god makes me with different kind of char and emotions. some things tat i tends to be strong. and some tends to be weak. i always tells those ppl around me, close to me, far from me about my emotional behavior. i shows it easily on face. sad, angry, happy and so on. even when im suspecting, my face tells everything.

but just no1 really understands wat am i thinking of and so besides my dad. and i do believe karma. i always thinks tat treating some1 good is a previlage to myself. but i guess im rong. i noe good deeds will be recognize by up there. but not forcing urself to be good. no point.

but i just simply dont understand Love. guess i have no1 really loves me for who am i. no, shud not say no1. is so far for those i've met. humans still r realistic. they ought to seek for perfection. who dont? even me. well. humans afterall. but i still get de key of contented.

i strongly believe as i mention b4 i yet growing up. eventually i think i have stop growing this yrs. kinda stubborn and childish. coz i force myself not to. even thou actually i am. coz just got to think too, so much.

but i will try really hard to tone down my temper of coz. but guess de emotional me is got to stay this way. mom genes. i believe myself, if some1 will to cry crocodile tears infront of me. i bet i will be soften down. and mayb cry with de person.

just nw was at JP with family. saw this event going on for Valentine's Day. couples going up for competition, theres judge. guy does everything, girl just stay there n listen to him. see which couple touches de judge de most.

happen to came across with this couple. when de guy singing "tell laurel i love her, tell laurel i nid her." but he changed de laurel to britney which is de GF name. de end de GF cried of coz. so do i. eyes go watery str8. remembering de scene he sangs to me when im crying. sings to me every night without fail. sings to me when im in pain. i guess humans do changed after awhile besides their nature habits.

i think i ever say b4 tat toys are girls best friend. i guess i shud throw this 1 side. no longer logical to me. i still nid a living ear and a mouth. not just something sits there still.

im having a sudden breakdown. i think my last breakdown was many . . many . . yrs ago.

Terrible

2009-02-07T10:18:00.004+08:00

in total i have 3 wounds cut on my left and right hand. 1 is bcoz packing room, 2 is bcoz of marker CAP, 3 is bcoz of toy catcher door. and de 3rd 1 hurts till i cry. =.= just bcoz i wanna get the toy that we have caught. but it stuck on de of de box inside de opening. so i try to put my hand in and de corner cut my thumb deeply. when it is only a plastic opener. =.=

and nw im feeling super sick. throat dam dry, voice changes. hate it. and i just took my LC pilage for a wash. problem with canvas bag. rain stains! which u cant see it but if u see it under strong lighting is super obvious =.= !!!
__

yst dropped by PS M)phosis. got 2 pair of slippers and 1 at for less den $20. BF pay for half. so i actually only paid $10 for this 3 items xD..

had dinner at parklane. and i found a place for toy catching which is super worth. i got a Me to You Tatty Bear for 5 dollars. actually shud be less, coz i didnt to BF advice. when he started to tell me how to catch. didnt listen till i left with 1 dollar. so i past it to him and he got it =D
__

today actually was told to go for facial. but mom got last min appointment. so changed till next wed. if not Valentine's Day bu mei mei le. xD

and BF have final yr exams so better not to meet him this 2 days let him concentrate his revision. so today i shall stay home and rest, do hse work, wash clothes n so on.
__

BYE!

Understandings?

2009-02-03T21:51:00.002+08:00

i think today i shall be using fotos to blog. im just so happy for today until an hr ago. sometimes i feel so outcast, so no longer belongs to them. words certainly hurts me, so deeply . .
__

Hong Bao River - Esplande

__

Accompanied BF mugging in his sch.
and i definitely brought alot of "not paying attention" problem. less den 2 hrs we left.

had de famous omelette chicken in his sch Koufu.
tat was nice =D
__

BF shock me with this eeyore from he is in de "toilet"

he lied to me tat he is having tummy ache as i believe coz we had yami yogurt previously. so i followed him to de toilet and i went in for my own release. den as usual i go wander around 1st. so i headed to de toy catcher machine to catch some stuff as i see them have rearrange those toys location already.

den i see him walking past so i called him assuming him didnt get to find me. as calling i caught one of it. *small ones* so i left another token. and BF caught de male stitch.

oh about de surprise, b4 de toilet thingy we was in a toy shop name Simply Toy. which ppl rents a box to sell their stuffs inside. and this eeyore caught my eye. THERE! BF started his pattern liao! LOL

THANKS BOYFRIEND!!!

Another collection to my bedhead =D

We caught this 3 for 3 dollars =D

my and boyfriend toy catching stuffs and experience is getting more n more! LOL my whole bedroom is full of toys right nw.

mayb i shud rent a box too..

HMM~
__

RanDoms~

THIS SO DAM ADORABLE HAMMY belongs to my FAT BF. no doubts! LOL his sister really have good capturing skills.

Ikea ELE - PANT

anyone have any idea of ikea snakes? coz they seems like not selling it anymore T_T
__

IM TEMPTING UDON AGAIN!!

Fat Cat

2009-01-31T13:01:00.002+08:00

WEE! after so many sinful days. lucky my weight still maintain.. PHEW!! last two days have been working den BF came to fetch me home. =D
__

Kanoi bought this for me from japan disney land. he is my work place de supervisor.

tat doreamon picture biscuit is dam nice! is those chicken corn snack when i use to eat during primary sch. and i couldnt find it anymore!! who noes any place tat sells it?

went town yst after work with BF. was at mrt doing stupid stuns. so as wat he say. 1 yr ago de me dam sweet. nw is totally DIFF!! LOL =X coz i nv snap him den he say this. =.=

SO! i snap him!! and he give me a CHEY look =.=
we r at soup spoon! drag him there again =.= muz i pay den he go. KUKU de lei him T_T if not he keep complaining about not full n contented =.=

hehe FOOD! tat lychee jap sweet is BF got for me 1. its gummy. and im getting abit scare of it already. coz BF got me de peach n grape b4..

this cushion cat is BF suddenly pop up my hse and SHOCK me with. and so just nice tat i bath out with a unglam look. LOL and he say this cat looks like me. short leg n hand =.=
and a packet of sinful famour amos cookies

BF got me a longchamp handbag for Valentine's Day present. and Agnes B was from dad =D

i got BF a Manhattan portage sling bag for V's day.. we always advanced everything. LOL

OK!! talk about this pooh cow! i dam angry.. previously i always off to PS de toy machine to catch him. i ALWAYS waste more den $4-6 on him. for 2 weeks roughly. yst BF kept wanting to exchange and try again when i already gave up hope on them. coz alot of been catch off. SO! try again lor. and $1 JUST ONE DOLLAR! we catch him. and is like, de catch come down, catch, den hold on to eat to de dropping point. we dont catch it by chance of dropping or knocking or shaking!

i was like, WTF? " de machine got eyes issit? see us liao den rmb, plus its earning already so give this cow to us issit!? " LOL anyway BF say is de gravity n grabbing problem. LOL dunno la. anyway im happy already!!

and for de Shin Chan dino biscuits i find it DAM cute so bought it. its $5.50. suddenly feel pain for it. LOL

BF got me this HP pouch as i wan 1 again. coz previously de eeyore is CURSE! make me drop my fone and got 1 big scratch n dented! HUMPF!!
__

today is gona be FAMILY day! weee tata!
as yst i already tell myself to diet! but once i woke up, auto walk to kitchen, took love letters, chips, tart move to room and start munching. and those cookies half gone already. *hais shake head*

Falling Leaf

2009-01-28T10:02:00.002+08:00

Hoping i could stay in de dreams with u. it's just so wonderful and beautiful.
__

catch inkheart yst night with BF. its not as nice as wat i expected. too simple it think. can fall asleep if u r tired b4 de show. hahas.

after show went to have supper at indian store. had masala thosai and kosong.. den BF send me home and he home sweet home le.
__

i didnt pay a visit to BF's place for quite a while. guess has been around 5 months since i step into his place. not even Chinese New Year. guess his family is too strict for me. compare to my family. well.. i think i just nid more time.

and tml im starting bak to work. pay haven take yet. SO! wee another income.. haha!! im gonna save some up. anyway i still having holiday mood. T_T yet got to force myself to work tml n friday. FOR DE SAKE OF MONEY~~ =B
__

still wonder shud i go fetch BF.. hmm

爱我的人和我爱的人

2009-01-27T10:01:00.002+08:00

爱我的人为我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对
谁对谁不必虚伪
爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪
为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围
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do u noe wat is de scariest and most terrible moments of life?
that is death and depart.

i guess i still cant take in death de depart.

be brave . .

Happy Chinese New Year =D

2009-01-26T22:37:00.005+08:00

24 JAN was Cousin Randy 21st Birthday. Happy BirdDay Cousin!
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25 JAN
CNY EVE

woke up to pack somemore of de hse.. slack around till 4PM for dinner and den off to Marina for Chinese New Year Deco.. this yr not good at all. plus drizzling. ah pissed of.

as usual~ our family.. started eating all de way till de end xD.. and i made a sentence for ourselves. " i've ate my dinner, we've eaten butter corn, we're eating putu piring and we going to eat roti plata later."
!! i have used eat, ate, eating and eaten! LOL! ok im mad..

SO! as wat i have stated.. we had dinner at 4, we reach there at 5! head for corn, putu piring, chin chow, popiah, hotdogs and vadeh! LOL!!!

as for de weather we skipped de thomson walk and roti plata. so i suggested to go for show as its still early. SO headed to balestier for Love Matters with cousins and dad.

Show was good. luff from start to end. but ending isnt good. so yup can watch la..
and BF! i wore super simple la! so have ur heart load being put down by my LIES? =X LOL~~

as usual cousins crap. acting tourist for no entry sign =.=

The entry. this yr i think its kinda bad la. de timing is only 6pm den start.

randy trying to test out de camera settings. and it turns out unglam la!

Cousins

dad and didi~

the Chong Destroyer! HAHA

all de fotos abv is from my cousin camera. coz my blog width too small. so i did edit it smaller. its pentax k100d model. even though its cheap. but its just good enuff and ran's skill =D
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25 JAN
CNY !!!!

HAPPY MOO YEAR EVERYONE!!

woke up at 6.30 as i nid to wash my hair n bath. prepare till 8 went up to granny place.

i got poor camera skills.

HONGBAOS!!! WAH HAHA~ as usual every yr.. off to aunty place both at TPY, loyang and den AIRPORT..
Got a Bangle and a butterfly ring from mini bits and aunty got DISCOUNT! 4 of us spent near a $100 there. Dad got it for me. WEE!!

actually this yr isnt as good as those previous yrs i've got. =(

BUT! HONGBAOS seems to INCREASED! LOL!!!

got home and NAP!

LAST YEAR

THIS YR

and something im super super heart ache n sad about. I DROP MY FONE ON DE ROAD!!! and it got dented si beh JIA LAT! i got so heartache.. T_T
!!

SO 5 plus went up to see whether everyone is gone so we can have our dinner. and WEE! after dinner our family gamble in my hse!

i've won i lil =D den off to have roti plata at plata hse. hehe and saw LILIAN! so coincidental la right! coz we r BFF okies! =D ate roti platas for $31!!! WOO SINFUL~

the notti boi keep luffing at me + playing till he forget about he is urgent and he just PEE out in de plata store =.=

THE MILO AND DE DINOSAUR ! as for ur info, he is drinking milo dino. LOL
and de shirt he is wearing is printed with full of monsters and dino. suits him =3
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random~ my cousin's elephant. i think its SUPER DUPER cute tat i snatch from brother when i saw it 1st. but end up! its still belongs to my cousin. xD

____________________________________________________________

After 1 yr le. time just pass so fast. memories of blogs and photobucket and my own memories of coz. reminds me of so so so much things. and de past yr i really do think de tears i have teared can used up for bathing, drinking and washing for a yr.

i noe it shud be more of a happy posting den a unhappy ones. but i still wanna say it out. coz i really feels, no shud be still feeling hurt about it.

im really getting super tired of everything. and BF, as wat i said in those sms. and ur words in those sms r very hurting. u have been hurting me with big and small things. how long more u wanna hurt me?

whenever i said this things. u always shout at me telling me just noe hw to put things and fault onto u. watever things u do isnt right. but have u really go think about it.

as time goes by.. being closer n closer to u. i get to see and noe u better. u r no longer de Boy i use to noe. no more longer. not a single bit. i sense abit of backing off from me to u.

No matters wat happens tml or next. just take good care of urself.

Loves Gaga

2009-01-25T11:00:00.003+08:00

time just really past so fast. tml is CNY already!!

hse oso nearly totally packed. reunion oso eaten le. BF joined us this yr =D
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some outdated photos.

BF having wanton MEE on new yr at 4AM plus =D

Soup Spoon

Outing with my family on excursion bus.
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and nw my hse is full of new yr goodies. and i can see their horns on them. DEVIL! makes me fat!! well.. HACK~

i just love to DI SIAO him when i misses my FAT BF!

hmm, i really find him 100x cuter den my BF. and definitely better. HUMPF..

after CNY den blog le. BYES~
facial yst and just put on de mask BF bought for me. im so REFRESH!!

I need . .

2009-01-22T18:52:00.002+08:00

Just had a quarrel with him. i nid someone to cry to and talk to. Guess here is still de best spot for me right nw.
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this morning, i done something tat is totally rong. i doubt him. i shudnt have done it.. i couldnt put de past away. i always carry it where ever i go. as time goes by, it becomes a burden to me and him.

he shouted at me. i cried. i cant be loud. i wanted to. but i just couldnt do it.

im at fault. we got better soon . .
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mins ago, i wanted to have a talk with him. things dont goes well. i didnt noe all my words and talking become a burden to him.

he told me he is so dam piss off, no patience and so on bcoz of this morning and nw got to face me.

i got so devastated when i heard him saying this. i tot i talked to u, cry to u. u can pad me down.
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A yr ago u told me u love me, willing to look after me, promise me wont let me tear again and again. heal my up from my previous broken relationship. but nw things totally changed. ..

i doesnt noe how to be happy anymore. .

busy!!

2009-01-18T21:12:00.003+08:00

SRY for lack of updating.. was just so busy with my own schedule.. bf, friends, family and CNY!!

have u guys bought all ur CNY clothes and goodies? im all rdy! HEHE.. im so so rdy for new yr. and i do actually having new yr mood already! HAHA!!
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YST was nice! finally got my LONG CRAVE soup spoon for dinner. finally BF agree to have tat with me. =D theres foto will update tml morning as nw kinda late already, plus abit lazy taking my usb cable out.

and TODAY! my da yi ma de THIRD day! so WEE no worries during CNY coz YI MA is gone! can eat n drink like crazy!

YAYA today family outing with BF too! we went to visit factory. as usual, yearly routine! but this yr SUCKS! everything isnt organize properly. guess BF 1st impression wasnt there already! HAHAS.. fotos as usual tml!
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im sneezing badly nw again! ever since afternoon! ROARS..

and nw im still waiting for BF to be home to DOTA! so blog a lil..
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anyway do u guys have BFF? as in best friend forever? its actually abit hard to maintain a good and understanding friend isnt it?

and valentine day is on de way soon oso! busy and tough la! GRRs.. xD

ok off to do something else already. TATA

What is Love

2009-01-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe.
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no1 will remembers...

Nil

2009-01-05T19:06:00.002+08:00

Im back to where i used to be.
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Dont come telling me how much u love me. Dont come hugging me telling me how much u miss me. Dont run to me and please me give u 1 more chance and promise me whatever tat u have promise.

im superly regret giving u de chance at de moment of time till nw. definitely i wont be hurting so much for nw.

kneeing down crying asking myself why. banging asking myself why. cutting up myself. drunk myself. laugh myself. sacrifice myself. till nw i got no ans.
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dont come telling me hw good i am tat u dont deserve it.

we dont meant to be tgt...

Happiness

2008-12-30T18:09:00.003+08:00

Do i have my happiness by my side?
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this few weeks, work place have been very busy. so kinda tired to blog oso. and my work place politics is as usual. so i shall skip my work place..
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yst went accompany BF to CMPB for medical checkup. i waited him for near 5hrs =D. is ok la. dont think about it. so its actually all right. just de air con abit too cold. and i cant leave de place coz im looking after BF's bag. carrying here n there abit funny. i didnt even go toilet till he is out. xD

medical checkup was alright. so ya =D

and BF bought me 2 Ts from Genting. HaraJuku of coz! =DD weeee... i wear it and walk around tangs. SHIOK! lols when they are selling $99 there. when im wearing a original costing $20 only *giggles*

and BF won for me a BIG BEAR. its really BIG! half of my size mayb. =D

i name him lovebi. was name after his T-shirt and barby =D BF dunno yet. not gona tell him anyway. coz im MAD at him. *right now at 6.24PM*

i noe his head is bigger den mine. HE WON! and!! he got half of my SLPING space right nw! luckily dad changed me a bigger bed =.=

the dress i got from Cottage far east yst. $60. i think ok la. something tat i wont see easily outside. havent got de belt for it yet. but i eye on 1 already. slowly ba =D

the bag tat i wanna to get. and nw i got 2 new bags =DD weee~ something similiar to Lilian's.

and nw i wanna get a pair of heels. BF if u get me de CnK pair. i shall forgive u =X. anklet i oso will forgive u de. u choose ba. or de BARBIE DOLL bag at TAKA. =DD
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AH KANG!!

he gave us lucky number and whole family strike for Saturday and Sunday =DD. Thanks DIDI!!
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im totally upset about him. wat shud i do ...

do u really love me? do u really cherish me nw.

i doubt so..

im lost..

i nid ur touch

2008-12-27T22:50:00.002+08:00

2nd day without him

i feel so weird without him. i nid him so much. even thou its only 3 days. but im crying for this 2 days. right nw oso.

i couldnt explain hw much i miss u. i cant explain hw much i love u.
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went out with lilian, vicky and shuan. trying to make myself busy. tired. but just without fail i still take out my fone to browse thru those sms u send me and ur fotos.

dear, today i very guai. i spend very lil. i saw a tote bag i like it kinda much. but i wanna hear from u 1st b4 i make this purchase. i bought a pajamas and some lingerie.

i oso guai guai de ate my lunch and dinner. i went to mummy place at 1 to facial. met lilian at 3 den off to bugis tgt. just got home around 15mins ago.

tonight u didnt sms me. i dunno why. ur fone is off too. i guess u just doesnt wants me to disturb u too much.

so i decided to blog here.

im sry dear. i just miss u too much..

light off

2008-12-25T22:34:00.003+08:00

OK! i noe i miss lots of exciting post. which i really have totally no time to blog. shall skip days. updates for those suppose to update =D.
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So BF promised to bring me for delifrance temptation. =D

the Tart and eclair makes me HIGH! =DD

Hes handsome i noe. =D
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random~

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So! we went to JB to shop. i miss de place alright! and i CFM going bak b4 CNY to spree again. bought afew things only coz time kinda rush. got a boot and 2Ts there. BF got branded underwear and Ts too =DD.. any the place rox can! sweettalk 1.80rm! same price as SG can! and we had lunch at kimgary for 114RM for STEAKS. WAH HAHAA~

1 thing i noe str8. Sg girls n guys over dress for all occasions. =D msians looks so simple and clean thou.

i got a haircut for 60RM so do my cousin. hers is shoulder length and is 50RM. she cut le like nv cut. anyway for me is simply worth la. coz my hair length 30SGD simply cant have la. and de service is good. oh ya. we cut at REDS. =DD

at de bridge link from City Sq to checkpoint.

i noe my hairstyle looks funny. but all say looks good. while! i dun really like it. makes it hard to match clothing.
still prefers my previous hairstyle. anyway. new la xD so ok lor.

and we got branded Ts for less den 20 SGD. and is really branded. not fake. is factory sales. i regretted didnt buy my HaruJuku =(((
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i just love to snap him =D
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Koboyashi Cine. was waiting for time to countdown yst. =DD

yst was FUN! even though super tiring. coz morning theres work. den didnt nap. ton somemore. so was tired. and we kept walking around orchard from 6PM till 1AM! but i just love de presence of him in my fav festive. =DD this is de 2nd time i celebrate Christmas with Deary BF.

BF, promise me wat u have promise ok?
=DD

was i sprayed alot of CHILDREN AND BANGALAS yst! LOL!!!!!!!!
and i saw 4 guys imposing WOMAN with spaghetti strips!! and their muscle was big enuff to look like boobs! and 1 of them even say " OMG U R HANDSOME I LIKE U! " to 1 of those pedestrians. FUNNY RIGHT. they was too sudden for me to take photo of them. =DD

den we catch Bedtime Story at 1.10am. was rushing to PS from orchard. was super sticky. luckily we bought facial form and towel to refresh ourself.

de show was funny. but too tired so nearly for asleep afew times. de BUZZY ROX CAN!!

waiting for our turn to walk over to tangs from wisma. those riot police CHIO ok! =D

in de cinema! we look dead i noe.
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BF offing to genting tml. i will simply miss ya BOY. presents ok!!!
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sending off with!!!!

BUZZZZZZZY